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Rubbing Him the Right Way: How to Give an Erotic Massage

We’ve got expert advice on how to give an erotic massage that’ll blow your partner's mind. And who knows? Maybe he’ll blow something of yours in return.
Editorial team
November 1, 2023
June 22, 2024
min. read
Table of Contents

Looking to set the mood and elevate your intimate experiences? Look no further than the art of erotic massage.

Now, you might be wondering, "Why should I bother with an erotic massage? I JUST WANNA GET LAID!" Well, friends, you should never underestimate the importance of foreplay for achieving an otherworldly orgasm. It can be a tempting prelude to sex or serve as the main event.

We’ll delve into the tantalizing world of sensual touch, offering tips, tricks, and techniques so you know how to give an erotic massage that leaves your partner begging for more. From choosing the right ambiance to learning the art of slow, deliberate strokes, we've got you covered.

The non-negotiables: Consent and communication

Hold the massage oil! Before you even think about getting slippery, know consent isn't just sexy; it's the law of the land. Forget the timid "Is this okay?" and get to know your partner's comfort zone like you know your favorite playlist.

Even after you get the go-ahead, keep the conversation going. Ask him about appropriate pressure and any sensitive spots. The goal here is to get him riled up and raring to go — not to leave him bruised and sore.

Feel a little awkward making sexual small talk? It doesn’t have to be clinical. Incorporate dirty talk to make his intimate massage as exciting as it is relaxing.

Crafting a sensual atmosphere

Even before your fingertips first graze his skin, the ambiance you curate should put your massage partner at ease. So, how do you curate the perfect vibe?

Lighting: The glow of intimacy

Opt for dim lights or soft illumination. Candles add a romantic flair and infuse the room with calming scents.

Scents: The aroma of attraction

Speaking of scents, the power of aromatherapy isn’t to be underestimated. Opt for scents like lavender or sandalwood to tickle his senses and elevate the intimate massage experience.

Music: The rhythm of desire

Select a playlist that resonates with both of you. Whether sultry jazz or tranquil nature sounds, the right tunes can transform a sexy massage into a symphony of sensations.

Whatever you play, try to keep it low-key. Sorry, Barbz, this isn’t the time for Nicki’s latest hit.

The space: Your sensual sanctuary

Ensure your chosen locale is inviting. Fresh sheets, a tidy room, and a sprinkle of rose petals make all the difference.

By fine-tuning these elements, you're not just preparing a space but also orchestrating an atmosphere ripe for relaxation and sensual exploration.

Preparing yourself for the main event

Before your hands become the co-stars of this sensual escapade, there's some backstage prep to consider. The art of an erotic massage starts with you, the maestro of touch.

Get clean before you get dirty

Cleanliness is a must when you’re getting in your partner’s personal space, so practice impeccable hygiene. Ensure your hands are pristine and your nails are neatly trimmed. Consider a quick shower.

Be a mindful masseur

You should approach the massage with a sense of sacred connection and intentional pleasure. Take a moment to center yourself, focusing on giving without immediate expectations. This will enrich your own experience giving the sexual massage and enable you to tune into your partner's non-verbal cues.

5 erotic massage techniques that’ll drive him wild

Mastering the art of erotic massage is like telling a sexy story; you need to get him hooked with a tempting intro, let the action rise, and deliver an explosive finale. The only difference here is the climax is the happy ending.

Here are some fundamental techniques to elevate your touch:


1. Start with broad strokes

Your initial touch should be deliberate, setting the stage for what's to come. Think of it as a canvas awaiting your artistry. Long, sweeping strokes across expansive areas of the body ignite arousal and wake up your partner’s muscles. Employ flat hands and relaxed fingers to trace the natural curves of his body. 

2. Tease him with your fingertips

Your fingers possess a magic of their own. Lightly skim over your partner's contours, focusing on the neck, shoulders, and other sensitive spots. Don’t be afraid to graze his bathing suit areas, either. Your delicate touches will give him goosebumps that amplify the intensity of the next step.

3. You better werk (his muscles)

Kneading is your go-to for meaty areas like the back and thighs. Use your thumbs and the heels of your palms to press and roll, easing tension and stimulating blood flow — an essential element for arousal.

4. Keep him well-oiled

Oils, lotions, or other lubricants will ensure a smoother glide. Consider massage candles that melt into warm oil, adding a ritualistic flair to your sensual massage. Just ensure whatever you use won’t irritate his sensitive areas or compromise the integrity of a condom (in case you want to make his ending extra happy).

5. Focus on underappreciated erogenous zones

Don’t go grabbing for his dick right out of the gate. Target often-overlooked erogenous zones like his inner thighs, buttcheeks, and nipples. A little attention here can catapult your intimate massage into the realm of the unforgettable.

Make him feel it: Erogenous zones to explore

Erogenous zones are the hidden gems on the map of human pleasure, areas of the body with heightened sensitivity, packed with nerve endings that trigger sexual arousal. They can make your partner's knees weak and elevate your erotic massage from "That feels good" to "Oh God, don't stop!"

While the genitals are the go-to, other pleasure points deserve your attention, as well:

  • Scalp: With the right stimulus, the scalp is a tingle factory. A gentle touch or light scalp massage can send shivers down your partner's spine. Run your fingers through his hair or focus on the nape of his neck.
  • Ears: The ears, particularly the earlobes, are sensory hotspots. Whispering sweet nothings into your partner's ear can also stimulate his most sensitive organ: his brain. So, lean in and let him know how much you love touching his body.
  • Lips: It doesn’t take a blowjob aficionado to know that the mouth is a primo erogenous zone. A simple touch or a lingering kiss can ignite desire. Trace his lips with your tongue or fingertips to build anticipation.
  • Glans: The head of the penis is a nerve-ending epicenter. This area is a must-visit during your intimate massage. Just don’t overdo it; you’re trying to deliver a relaxing experience, not feed his overstimulation kink.
  • Anus: No erotic massage is complete without a bit of anal play. Rub the flats of your fingers around his hole with gradually increasing pressure. If he’s into penetration, you can take this deep-tissue massage extra deep and stimulate his prostate.

Say hello to my little friend: Incorporating massage tools

Your hands aren’t the only tools at your disposal. There are plenty of toys and aids that can add a new dimension to your erotic massage.

  • Oils and lotions: The right lube can be a game-changer. Opt for quality oils or lotions that are as good to your skin as they are to your senses. Warming or cooling oils add a zing of sensation for the adventurous.
  • Vibrators: Sex toys aren’t just for solo play. These versatile gadgets can stimulate everything from the scalp to the glans, offering a customizable experience.
  • Feathers and ticklers: For a softer touch, feathers and ticklers offer an erotic tease. They're perfect for awakening his sensitive spots before you go in for more intense action.
  • Blindfolds: A blindfold can make the familiar feel new. It adds an element of surprise and intensifies the sense of touch.
  • Handcuffs and restraints: Domming doesn’t have to be rough. If you're into a little BDSM, padded restraints can add an exhilarating control element to your intimate massage.

Aftercare and post-massage discussion: The cherry on top

Your work isn’t done once you’ve finished the massage. Orgasms are great, but aftercare is the real finale — often overlooked but deeply significant. It's not just a warm towel or a cuddle after sex; it's emotional nurturing.

Don't just focus on the physical. Open up a dialogue. Ask your partner what tickled their fancy and what just ticked them off. Doing so helps refine your skills as a masseur while deepening your emotional bond.

Rub elbows with other massage enthusiasts on Grindr

Whether you're looking to meet someone new or spice things up with your current partner, Grindr is the perfect platform to set the stage for getting hands-on. Your next unforgettable erotic massage could be just a touch away.

Download the Grindr app, or browse hands-free with Grindr Web — the same Grindr you know and love, now available on your laptop or PC with no download required.

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