Goodbye Brat Summer, Hello Pit Summer
When it comes to summer, the Gays™ do not mess around. For us, summer isn’t just a season—it’s a way of life. The goal? Doing everything wearing the least. Attend Pride in nothing but see-through undies and a mesh crop top? God bless. Cruising down Commercial Street rocking the tiniest cut-off jorts with the lower straps of your jockstrap visible, holding up those curvaceous booty cheeks? My hero. Sweating up a storm dancing to Mayhem in the club while sporting a whale tail underneath leather booty shorts? Iconic. Or, saying “Screw it” to clothes altogether and hitting up a gay nude beach to let your twig and berries breathe. (Please, don’t forget sunscreen on your genitals—trust me, sunburned dick is no joke.)
In this spirit, I want to encourage queers everywhere to wear one less thing: deodorant. Brat Summer was 2024. Pit Summer is 2025. Now, I know this might ruffle some feathers, and I want to clarify one thing—there’s a difference between musk and B.O. While it’s hard to describe, I don’t think the difference is subtle. It’s kind of like what Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said about obscenity (i.e., porn) in the 60s: “I’ll know it when I see it.” (Well, in this case, smell it.)
So, I don’t think you should work out 15 times a week, lie in the hot sun, and never shower. I want that natural scent—that musk, those pheromones. I want my brain to short-circuit from a primal, evolutionary response when I catch a whiff of your pits because I’m so damn turned on. That’s different from B.O., which smells more like a pig in slop.
Of course, some men love B.O. I’ve had many guys on Grindr tell me not to shower after the gym so they can sniff my “musty crotch.” (That’s one less shower for me, so I don’t mind.) If that’s your thing, go for it—just maybe save the olfactory assault for a kink space instead of unleashing it on your fellow train passengers.
That said, here’s what I’m suggesting: shower daily or after the gym, then skip the deodorant afterward. That’s the sweet spot. It’s how you maintain your alluring, mouth-watering, natural scent without veering into body odor overload—or smelling like a forgotten cheese wheel in the back of your fridge. The former, I’d argue, is more universally sexy; the latter, more of a kink.
So, my dearest gays, queers, bi, non-binary angels, and trans smokeshows—let’s remain hygenic while skipping the deodorant, learn to love our smells and bodies, and consensually sniff some glorious, musky pits.
Pit Summer 2025, here we fucking come.
