The Grindr Guide to Slang for Sex
Sex: It may be just three little letters, but just as there are countless ways to go about doing it, there are just as many ways to say it. From coy codewords to raunchy euphemisms and creatively ordered emojis, the vernacular is constantly evolving.
When it comes to slang for sex, everyone — our straight grandparents included — knows the more traditional stuff: funny business, fooling around, making love, having relations, getting busy, knowing in the biblical sense, fornicating. The list goes on and on, almost back to the times of Adam and Steve, er, we mean, Adam and Eve. But of all the ways to say sex without saying sex, we get more of a kick out of the most downright gayest.
So for anyone in search of another word for “fun” — the sort that happens between the sheets, specifically — we’ve compiled the following non-exhaustive selection of sneaky synonyms.
Ready to take your nasty talk up a notch?
From thick and creamy desserts to carnivorous all-you-can-eats, some of the best slang for sex takes its inspiration from food. Screw the gutter; we can’t get our minds out of the kitchen.
Play hide the sausage
It’s a game so many of us are so remarkably good at, regardless of where the wiener hails from. Be it bratwurst, kielbasa, or chorizo, if you’re going to take us out to the ballpark, make sure there are plenty of franks to go around.
Hot beef injection
Think of it as first prize for winning at hiding the sausage. Funny how meat marinade injectors give a whole new meaning to getting rammed, huh.
Glaze the donut
Not only does every gay know that GIF of hot icing dripping off a freshly baked Krispy Kreme original, but we also know how to apply it like none other: to refer to ejaculating all over his hole. When it comes to synonyms for “intimate,” this one takes the cake.
Bake the potato
What a (mostly sensical?) surprise: The act of cooking the perfect side dish to a steak dinner also refers to fucking him in the ass. Whether you load it with butter, sour cream, or some other sauce altogether (ahem, ahem) is all up to you.
This one dates back to the 19th century, and as long as you refrain from reading it a la BenDeLaCreme’s Dame Maggie Smith on Snatch Game, it’s arguably one of the few that still manages to land (OK, mostly manages to land) in a modern-day context. Full disclosure: We’re all for refreshments of the vertical variety, too.
Butter the biscuit/baguette
Depending on how you interpret it, the former could be glazing the donut’s doppelganger or, if it’s more of a cylindrical bread type, a way to refer to lubing up a dick.
Toss a hotdog down a hallway
When it comes to gay sex, vulgar synonyms are all in, but bottom- and slut-shaming are way out. It’s a metaphor that speaks for itself all too well, so when using it, do so with kindness — and thank a veteran power bottom today.
Playtime at the farm
We’re all just animals at the end of the day. And from the barnyard to the petting zoo, we’re doin’ it doggy-style — and then some.
Either we learned it from watching our four-legged brethren from across the animal kingdom get down, or it’s still in our DNA from when we were four-leggeds ourselves. Either way, whether it’s the top mounting or the bottom riding, there’s no denying we love to do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.
Charm the cobra
Performing oral sex on a flaccid cock until it’s standing at attention and spits its juice all over the place. Just make sure that snake watches his aim.
Unharness those Marlboro Man fantasies, partners. Whether you do so with or without the saddle is up to you. On that note…
It’s one of the top search terms on PornHub, and thanks to PrEP and Mpox vaccines, it’s no wonder why. And continuing with the condomless sex theme…
Who would’ve thought that what’s in all honesty a hetero phenomenon — the act of sperm fertilizing an egg — would arguably be one of the hottest terms to make this list. Way to go rewriting the history books, boys. You won first prize: Bareback him all you want, and he still won’t wind up pregnant. But that doesn’t have to stop you from trying.
Roll in the hay
Major points to anyone who’s actually ever fucked in a barn. Hee-haw, y’all.
Make the beast with two backs
Getting this one involves thinking back to high school English class. It comes from Shakespeare's Othello and was — get this — intended to be extremely crude and graphic. If two backs were all it took to be beastly back in Elizabethan times, just imagine how explaining 21st-century cumdump etiquette would go down.
Let’s get physical
Sex is an active pursuit, after all, so it’s no surprise that its slang has the occasional “locker room full of sweaty jocks in jockstraps flicking their towels at each other” moment.
Making it to fourth base
Also known as a home run or going all the way, fireworks ensue either way.
You shoot, you score. Or maybe it’s the other way around?
No matter the class size, be it two or 20, everyone gets a bit sweaty after a few rounds of the downward dog. *Nods spiritually, winks suggestively* Namaste, gay.
If Gus Kenworthy led the way for gays competing in winter sports, then there’s nothing to stop you from becoming an Olympic-level champion with this move. Bobsledding between the sheets involves the top motorboating the bottom’s ass, sticking his cock between his cheeks — but not penetrating — and sliding away until shooting a gold medal-worthy load.
Home and interiors
That whole gay decorator stereotype might be endearing (albeit tired), but when it comes to what’s really going on behind closed doors, especially for those of us who are partial to a darkroom, consider the following:
Whether they’re made from silk or high-thread-count cotton — or for the piggier amongst us, leather, rubber or waterproof PVC — this one refers to sex that's so white-hot even the bed linen is buzzing. Just be sure to make Mom proud and give everything a good wipe afterward.
Nail, screw, drill, plow, pound — sex draws on hardware, machinery, and a vigorous DIY spirit so much that it almost warrants its own backroom at Home Depot. Even if you can’t install an actual shelf IRL, we’re willing to bet you’re, ahem, handier than you give yourself credit for.
Things are bound to break in the heat of the moment every once in a while: beds, sinks, haphazardly assembled sex swings (always read the instructions, boys). Hey, accidents happen — so make sure you have a good handyman on speed dial, and watch those appendages. After all, there are some things even a good nailing won’t fix.
Netflix & chill
The brains behind the streaming service probably never would have imagined their name becoming synonymous with curling up with someone for a good binge sesh and a side of sex.
Classics that never die
Depending on the context (timing is everything), the following prove one good generational run deserves another.
Even if you don’t recall the second single from Madonna’s I’m Breathless album, the pop goddess has a point we can all get behind: “I don't wanna cry, I just wanna hanky panky / Like hanky panky (hanky panky) / Nothing like a good spanky (good spanky).” Preach, queen.
OK, OK. We know this one’s an obvious no-brainer, but we’re including it simply because aside from it being the undeniable reigning king of sex slang, the origin of the word remains a fascinating mystery. Etymologists believe it could have come from the German fricken (to strike or to hit), the Swedish focka (to strike or to copulate), or the Dutch fokken (to breed). And the truth is, they all kind of make sense. Down to collab, Duolingo?
Like “boink,” it’s an onomatopoeia that more than speaks for itself. Maybe it has something to do with guns … Maybe squirt guns, specifically? Super Soakers, hopefully.
A touch of weird
Finally, here are a few that fall into what we’ll call the “unclassifiable” category but still merit a mention. Because who are we to judge?
Sure, some dicks are prettier than others, and the same goes for assholes. But if you’re using this one in a literal sense, maybe consider hopping in the shower for a pre-bump rinse.
Doing the deed of darkness
This one’s all for you, Pat Robertson. Praise be to whichever black hole you now call home.
If there’s anything we gays love more than a good pun, it’s being the one to drop it. Admittedly, “gaynal” is probably one of our less sophisticated moments, but we know those also often happen to be some of our finest. Not unlike a good hookup, it’s quick, it’s to the point, it paints an obvious picture, and it’s ours. All ours, as in appropriation-proof (looking at you, cisgender straight folk, no matter how freaky you may be).
Down for dirty talk?
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