Dear Dad

How do I explain my open relationship to my parents?

—Sharing is caring

Dear Sharing,

Once, in my early 20’s, my mother and I got a bit sloshed at dinner while my father was out of town. We talked about the usual: taxes, politics, “Golden Girls.” Eventually, we got drunk enough to discuss sex. After her fourth glass, my mother revealed that my father loved to get spanked during foreplay. It was weird to hear, but sort of reassuring that even my straight-as-an-arrow father had a kinky side. Because she was vulnerable enough to share his sexual proclivity with me, I thought it would only be polite to do the same. I told her about how I liked wearing nipple clamps during sex. After I divulged this intimate detail my mother took a long gulp of wine, focused her gaze, and then spat out, “I was in labor for 17 hours with you…do I really need to hear this shit?” To put it plainly, a little social lubricant can help with certain penetrating truths, even if they hurt a bit.

My bf and I are open, but I’m not sure if we should tell each other about guys we sleep with?

—Feeling sneaky

Sneaky,

You cannot survive an open relationship without open communication. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you need to share every sticky, salty detail about every guy you sleep with—not at all. But you do need to be on the same page about what you share and what you don’t. Figure out what level of disclosure works for you both, and run with it. Once you have clear ground rules for what you expect each other to share, it’s as simple as honoring that agreement. As for my personal preference, I like it best when you cc: your partner without having to direct message.

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I don’t want an open relationship, but he does. What do I do?

—Three’s a crowd

Hey Crowded,

Red alert, son. Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. You will not change that man, you will only ruin your own peace of mind by entering into a relationship you’re not actually comfortable with. Next!

Hooked up with an open couple and now they want me to be their third. But I only like one…

—Throuple threat

Throuple Threat,

You in danger, girl. What do you expect will happen when the one you’re not interested in susses out that you only like his man? I’m all for open relationships, and I have nothing but awe and respect for those who choose to have a third, but do you really want to put yourself in a position where you have to pretend to like someone? Both parties deserve better than that. Let’s just consider it a one time thing for now and should they ever break up, go ahead and hit up the one you like.

Are open relationships the only way two gay men can stay together for a long time?

—Open 24/7

Dear 24/7,

You know how dogs can hang out together all day and go to bed and wake up and then hang out some more? And you know how cats can disappear for two weeks and come back and purr on you and then ignore you for the rest of the day? Those are two equally valid ways of loving in the world—both authentic to the respective animal. I’ve seen monogamous gay couples and non-monogamous gay couples and some have failed and some have succeeded, and as far as I’ve seen no one has figured out the magical formula for how or why. All you can do is trust your needs and desires. Tell the world what it is that you want and then go for it. There are other queer people out there who’re looking for the exact same thing as you, but first you have to know for yourself what it is that you seek.

Pabllo Vittar is an icon’s icon: a world-renowned drag queen, pop star, and fashion disruptor who also happens to be the most-followed drag queen on Instagram (more than Mother Ru!). Already a household name in her native Brazil, Vittar has served up looks in Vogue, crossed tongues with Diplo, and, oh yes, is the first drag queen ever nominated for a Latin Grammy.

Their meteoric rise in the pop music scene might suggest an overnight sensation, but Vittar’s been crafting their own unique brand of polished pop and drag performance for some time. They’d already been performing in Brazilian beauty contests, bars, and parades for years when, in 2014, their now-legendary cover of Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing” debuted on Brazilian television and announced Vittar as a singular talent. The rest, as they say, is herstory.

Since then their career has exploded globally: Vittar has released two massive albums and a major ep; collaborated with Diplo, Charli XCX, Major Lazer, and Anitta; performed at Coachella; and surpassed one billion views on Youtube.

We sat down with Vittar as part of BLOOP’s High Tea series, which profiles LGBTQ+ celebrities, leaders, and iconoclasts from around the world in an authentic, fun, and sex-positive setting. Dig in below to find out about the softness of Diplo’s tongue, how to get Vittar’s attention on Grindr, and more.

Who are your fashion icons?

My fashion icons are my friends; I like watching people walking down the street. I don’t think fashion has to be this grandiose thing, it’s about taking what you already have and expressing yourself.

You’ve already worked with Charli XCX, but what other pop artist working today would you like to collaborate with?

You.

I’ll harmonize on an album, don’t test me.

Ha! I’d love to do more stuff with Charli XCX, I love her, and I’m always doing things with Diplo, he’s on my second album. I really love Rosalía, would love to do a feature with her. I just saw her show in Mexico, she’s incredible.

What are you listening to right now?

I really like BLACKPINK.

Do you have any makeup or grooming tips for Grindr users?      

Whenever you’re getting ready to meet your Grindr hookups make sure you put moisturizer on, some chapstick. Make sure your lips are nice and fresh for your boy.

What was it like to kiss Diplo?

Every time someone asks me that I get goosebumps because it was so incredible. I want everyone to hear this: his tongue was the softest tongue I’ve ever felt.

Who is your current celebrity crush?

I have a big crush on Bad Bunny, he’s very much my type of man: tall, paints his nails.

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I almost painted my nails today, big mistake.

Huge.

What’s the best way to get your attention on Grindr?

I definitely need a face pic, because when you go to meet someone you’re not going to meet just a torso.

Do you have a memorable Grindr story for us?

One time I met up with a flight attendant.

On the plane?

No! He was staying at the same hotel as me and I went down to his room, and he ended up being a superfan. It was cool, I like the recognition, but I really just wanted to kiss someone.

Where does one find you on a Saturday night?

I’ll probably be at home playing video games or at the club with my friends.

You hit one billion views on Youtube recently, how does that feel?

I feel good and happy. I want to continue to achieve my goals, I’ve got a lot more dreams. It’s something that makes me happy and makes my fans happy. Look how far I’ve come from the northeast of Brazil.

What does “Pride” mean to you?

Pride’s more than a word for me. It’s who you are, it’s what you believe in, and what you’ll fight for regardless of who’s watching.

What’s next for Pabllo Vittar?

Like my album says,“Não Para Não”, I won’t stop— I’ve got a lot more coming.

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For every OOM you get in your app, mostly it’s because there are large Bitmaps created and kept inside memory at Runtime.

Android Studio provides a handful tool, Profiler, which you can use for recording and browsing memory usage and easily find all the references that been kept.

1 — Know your memory

If you use the tool on devices with different OS versions, you will see the columns of the results have one different like below:

It’s clear to see one more column call Native Size will be used on Android 8. This is because Google has changed the way to store the pixel data of a Bitmap, which you can check the official document for more detail. To be short, the difference is:

• Pre 8: store pixel data in Java Heap
• Post 8: store pixel data in Native Heap

So even the pixel data size of Bitmap are both shown in Retained Size, they are stored in different places based on the OS version.

2 — Identify target Bitmap

The way to store a Bitmap will affect whether we can preview a Bitmap or not. If we profile on devices before 8, we can see the reference image like below:

This is pretty useful when you are just starting to find out what image the Bitmap is.

3 — What should we take more focus on

When you start analyzing the Bitmap memory, you may see situation like this:

An incredibly large Bitmap exists at Runtime, consuming nearly 8.3MB of memory. It’s quite wasting since the Java heap on low-end devices may only have 16~32MB. This kind of Bitmap will put a lot of pressure on memory and cause GC constantly.

After looking into it, it turns out it’s a square image that we use to show the placeholder. And if you do some math on the number, you will find out the size of the image is:

// Since Android will load an image with flag ARGB_8888, we will need 4byte  // to represent the color of a pixel. 8294471 ≈ 1440 x 1440 x 4

Potential way out

Except using 3rd party library or tools to shrink image size before importing. Android also provides ways to deal with big image:

• Enable cruncherEnabled, so the AAPT will shrink the images at compile time.
• Use WebP instead of PNG, JPG.
• Use VectorDrawable for graphic icons or symbols.

For more details, you can check the official document.

None of these is a silver bullet to solve the memory issue of Bitmap, because:

• cruncherEnabled and WebP can only help to shrink the APK size. The Image will still turn into an enormous Bitmap if the original size is big. If you are curious about why WebP doesn’t help, please check OutOfMemoryError — WebP.
• VectorDrawable is only fully supported by the system with the OS version is above 21(Lollipop). The support library can help to support down to 7(Eclair), but instead of using VectorDrawable, it will become VectorDrawableCompat.

How we gonna do

In the end, we choose to use VectorDrawable with the following reason:

• We’ve already turned to use WebP to shrink APK size, there’s no reason to use PNG again.
• Most use cases in the project are easy to replace with VectorDrawable.

What we have to do is:

• Add the vectorDrawables.useSupportLibrary = true in defaultConfig.
• Replace android:src with app:srcCompat in xml.
• setImageResource can be kept.

After replacing with VectorDrawable, the size of the largest Bitmap at Runtime will become only 600K:

And 2KB in VectorDrawableComapt on pre 21:

What’s more

Caveat

Even VectorDrawable seems powerful, you should use it wisely because:

• VectorDrawable works like drawing graph at Runtime, the calculation and drawing commands must have a performance impact.
• On pre 21. The system will cache VectorDrawableCompat by size, which means if you apply an individual VectorDrawableCompat into Views with different sizes, it will need to recreate and redraw every time. Check official document for more detail.
• Enable setCompatVectorFromResourcesEnabled(boolean) to have support on original settings of ImageView or TextView should be careful about OOM issue.

As I said, none of the solutions is a silver bullet, choose a suitable solution based on the use case. And always remember: “Perf matters”.

Useful command

With devices pre 21, you can’t use Profile to check the memory usage. Instead, you have to dump the heap manually:

• Find PID

adb shell ps | grep "<package name>"

• Pull the heap file

adb shell am dumpheap <pid> /data/local/tmp/android.hprof

• Dump the heap

adb pull /data/local/tmp/android.hprof

‍

WebP is an image format which is both lossy and lossless compression. Widely use in all Android app, including us. If you wish to get more detail about WebP, please check the following link:

• Google/WebP
• How WebP works (lossly mode)

Why WebP

We use WebP heavily inside the project not just because it save the network bandwidth but also cut down size for all image resources to save APK size.

But if you don’t pay attention to the bitmap size that it will become at Runtime, you may go into OOM error like us.

How does it happen

Stacktrace

When we look at the crash log, it will start from the inflating process:

and end up calling to getDrawable, which cause the system to allocate a bitmap for pixel data:

Suspect Image

Let’s take a look at the size again. Because the system will use ARGB_8888 to create a bitmap by default, we can divide the number by 4:

3688412 / 4 = 921603 = 960 * 960

The result shows the image size is 960. Luckily, there's only one ImageView inside the XML file, so we quickly identify the image which causes OOM error.

Targeting image resource

Since the screenDensity of the crashed device is 320. We found the image inside drawable-xhdpi:

It’s a WebP with the size just the same as we expect, now we find the reason for the OOM.

Lesson learn

WebP can be pretty small in size but may be very large in bitmap at Runtime. The bitmap size of a WebP will depend on the size of the image before the transformation. Don’t create a WebP from a PNG that the size is larger than you need.

What’s more

If we look at the distribution on all OS version, you can see the crash more likely happens on OS version from 3 to 7:

The reason for this is because Google has changed the location to store bitmap.

• Version 3 to 7: a bitmap will be stored inside the Dalvik heap, which is limited and mostly is very small.
• Version 8+: a bitmap will be placed inside the Native heap, which is expandable with a larger limit, sometimes the limit depends on the physical memory size.

With the difference above, you will more easily get OOM on Android 3 to 7, to check more detail about it, please refer to the official document:

• Managing Bitmap Memory

If you curious about how this gonna influence the Bitmap Memory, please check:

• OOM — Bitmap resource analysis

‍

Dear Grindr Community,

At Grindr, we’re all about connection—whether it’s a spark, a scroll, or something a little more… hands-on. But in a world obsessed with optimizing every aspect of life—from your sleep score to your gut microbiome—there’s one nutrient-rich resource that’s been scandalously overlooked. That’s right, we’re talking about cum.‍

Today, we’re hosting the world’s first Nutritional Load Label¹— a Grindr Blog exclusive that finally puts the vitamins, minerals, and precious protein of your favorite milk substitute under the microscope. Forget potatoes, protein bars, and kale smoothies. 2025 demands more. It’s time to log your daily intake of the world’s most unexpected nutrient source.

How to Use the Load Label

1. View the Load Label below.
2. Enter the Number of Loads you want to calculate.
3. View Your Results, which will show an approximate nutritional breakdown (calories, protein, etc.).

That’s all there is to it—no extra steps or details needed. Show your friends. Show your family. Show the world.

Naturally, these figures aren’t carved in stone—hydration, diet, and cosmic forces of testicular load all play a role. But we’ve compiled enough data through our research in order to give you a good idea.

Disclaimer: While the ingredients in a load are generally safe, ingesting it is not FDA-approved for nutritional purposes. But hey, before you get too adventurous, remember: practice safe sex and get tested regularly. Stay safe and savvy, babe.

Can Your Diet Handle Loads? A Checklist

Vegan — Some folks say if it’s from any animal, it’s a hard no. Others claim if it’s a consenting human, it’s basically cruelty-free—you decide, because the last thing we want to do is mess with a vegan.

Keto — Remember, every carb counts, but if you can pencil it into your 25-gram limit, you can consider it part of your daily bread (or just count is as electrolytes and move on).

Paleo — Our ancestors didn’t count macros—they just rawdogged life, ate whatever they could catch, and died at 30. If unprocessed, ancestral simplicity is your vibe, consider this the OG protein source. Farm-to-table? Back then, it was cave-to-mouth. Drink up.

Intermittent Fasting — No protein can go in your mouth before 12pm. But after that, go ahead, girl, get your fill.‍

Carnivore — Beat your meat and eat it too. With fruits and veggies off the table, a consenting partner’s contribution might be the only variety you’ve got left.

More Disclaimers

1. Not an Endorsement: We’re not telling you to replace breakfast, second breakfast, or even midnight snacks with, well, cum. Any medical professional would likely yell at us.
2. Social Repercussions: Whipping out the Interactive Load Label during a conversation about local produce might send your dinner guests scurrying. Use responsibly.
3. Evolving Science: Like any frontier, the data will evolve as more daring souls look deeper. To that we say: we’re on it. So don’t be surprised if next year’s iteration includes charts on pH levels and differing flavor profiles.