Carefree Necking: Learn How to Hide Hickeys Like a Pro
It's the third date. The hunk of man meat that gives you the blood-stiffening kind of heebie-jeebies is at your place. The wine and conversation flow as if the night will never end. Next thing you know, you’re making out. Nice!
Then, his mouth goes for your neck. No surprise, really; you mentioned earlier that you love it when guys kiss your neck. He's a good listener, too — real boyfriend material. But his pace quickens, the intensity deepens, and your anxiety kicks in. You can feel it happening — that intensity of suction can mean only one thing. He’s going to leave a hickey.
“A grown man? With a hickey?” you think. “What is this, high school?!”
As unsightly as they may seem, hickeys are often an inevitable part of getting hot and horny with someone special. Still, they're unfortunately not a great look. After all, most of us aren't aiming to wear proof of the previous evening’s activities on our collars.
Don't lose hope. We're here to share our favorite tips for how to hide hickeys so you can foreplay your way without worrying about it showing up the next day.
What is a hickey in the first place?
In short, a hickey is a bruise. When your partner bites or sucks on your skin, they may burst tiny blood vessels beneath the surface. It feels much sexier than it sounds, trust us.
The bruising usually has a yellow-to-purple hue. You’ll commonly see them on the neck or earlobes, but those with insatiable appetites for suction could technically develop hickeys anywhere on their body.
Truthfully, although they don't look great, hickeys are harmless. They’re just the result of someone being too into you to care whether you’ve got a stockpile of concealer. And if you ask us, that’s pretty sexy!
How to hide a hickey — and fast
There you stand, neck marked up from a night of passion. How are you going to hide the evidence? Here are a few ways to mask the bruising in no time.
This tip is seasonal and dependent on your climate. Wearing a turtleneck in the West Village in the middle of June will probably turn more heads than a hickey, but if you don't want awkward questions at dinner, throw on a turtleneck or a shirt with a high collar — weather permitting.
Wearing a scarf is similar to a turtleneck in that it's mostly a fall or winter gambit. Still, lighter scarves exist, and you can absolutely use them to hide your hickeys.
The nice thing about using scarves is that you can throw them on temporarily to hide the hickey and easily remove them once you're in private.
Ah, concealer, how we love thee. The aptly named makeup product is perfect for hiding discoloration and giving you a more even skin tone. You may need to reapply concealer throughout the day, so bring it with you just in case.
Color correcting your skin with multiple makeups is also another option. This approach might be necessary if your neck resembles a Jackson Pollock canvas. Color corrector requires more finesse and detail than concealer, but who said hiding your hickey couldn't be an art project?
At this point, you might as well go for a full makeover. Foundation acts similarly to concealer to create a more even skin tone. All three makeup tips could work, but you may find one works better than another (or you might be limited to whatever products you have on hand). Just don't forget the setting powder so it looks realistic.
Wear your hair down
If you've grown out your long, luscious locks, you already have some built-in hickey-hiding camouflage. Wear your hair down for the day, making sure it's styled in a way that covers the hickey. Time to break out the hair dryer and perform a different kind of blowjob!
The most straightforward solution is to slap a Band-aid on your bruise. Still, you might get questions about what happened. Come up with some excuse, like telling people you cut yourself shaving, or blame it on the cat; most folks will move right along.
Look over there! Wearing something else that draws attention away from your neck might be a desperate final attempt to keep people from looking at your hickey, but it can work surprisingly well. Throw on a bucket hat or zany shirt and let that be the topic of conversation at the water cooler rather than which coworker ravaged you last night.
A hoodie isn't exactly the most fashionable clothing item, but putting up a hood and telling everyone you're cold is still a way to hide your hickey. It's not suitable for every setting, especially if you're indoors. But as long as you're comfy and the hickey is out of sight, what difference does it make?
How long does it take for a hickey to go away?
This question has many different answers since it all depends on the severity of the suck. You'll usually notice the hickey around one or two days after your mate had your neck for dessert.
But even the most vibrant hickeys should start fading around day four, with most disappearing within a week. Any longer than that, and you should start setting a timer for that blood-sucking boyfriend of yours.
How to get rid of hickeys
Even though a week doesn't seem like a long time, it can feel like an eternity when you have a big reddish-yellow splotch on the side of your neck. Here are a few tips to get rid of your hickey fast so you don’t have to wear a scarf every day for a week:
- Use a cold compress on the hickey for a maximum of 10 minutes. Do this several times a day until you see the hickey fade.
- Swap to a warm compress to encourage blood flow after the first few days.
- Aloe vera is a known anti-inflammatory that can help reduce swelling. Apply a thin layer of aloe vera twice daily to see if it speeds up the healing.
- Try topicals like Vitamin K or peppermint essential oil. Vitamin K improves the look of bruising, whereas peppermint oil can stimulate and bring more blood to the hickey. Remember to test these on a small patch of skin first if you don't typically use these ingredients.
- Cocoa butter can smooth out skin marks thanks to the fatty acids and phytochemicals that help refresh your skin. Apply once or twice a day for best results.
- If your health allows, take aspirin to help your blood circulate better. Wait 48 hours after being gifted your hickey to ensure your capillaries are nicely healed.
- Arnica cream is available over the counter and can help hickeys and bruises heal faster. You can take arnica pills orally or apply arnica cream directly to your skin.
These tips might reduce the intensity of your hickey or speed up your healing, but there's no foolproof way to get rid of a hickey or bruise, and hickey removal isn’t really a thing. Remember, time heals all wounds; a love mark on your neck is no exception.
You can't help it if you're a snack
If you're reading this, you've probably got yourself a sumptuous neck that men thirst for. It’s a good thing vampires aren’t real (discounting that blood-sucking ex of yours). If you ask us, you shouldn’t be doomed to a life without enjoying this erogenous zone just because you might get a love bite or two out of it. Hopefully, with these tips, you'll allow yourself to live in the moment without worrying so much about what shade of purple your skin will turn when it's all over.