How to Get Over Someone You Never Dated but Slept With

Breakups are hard enough. But how do you get over someone you never dated but slept with? We’ve got advice to get over your “situationship.”
Editorial team
October 26, 2023
February 27, 2024
min. read
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You've been rolling in the sheets, experiencing the kind of toe-curling, mind-blowing sex even romance novels can't do justice. But now your booty call wants to call it off.

Who cares, right? It’s not like you were married. You were barely friends with benefits. So you continue with your life. You're in the middle of your morning routine, spoon poised for a cereal dive, and BAM! You're a hot mess. 

The spoon misses your mouth, cereal flies like confetti, milk dribbles down your chin, and you’ve ruined the snazzy outfit you put on. Why this breakfast catastrophe? Because you're haunted, honey — by his scent, the electric charge of his touch, and the way you both climax in unison like fireworks on the Fourth of July.

But here's the kicker: You weren’t his boyfriend — not even close. Sound familiar?

You’re trying to figure out how to get over someone you love, and you’re caught in the emotional whirlpool of unrequited love. You've been intimate, sure, but you never made it Facebook official — not even Grindr official.

It might feel silly, but your hurt feelings are totally valid. Getting over someone you were never with can be just as challenging as moving on from a significant other.

But you're not just nursing a heartache right now; you're at a crossroads of personal growth. It's time to transform that pain into wisdom, honey. No matter how small, each step is a strut down the runway toward the love you desire and downright deserve.

So, wipe that milk off your shirt, darling, because the best is yet to come.

Emotional investment: The glitter and the grit

The emotional toll of unrequited love can be devastating, especially when you've been intimate with the person in question. Whether you were adopting kids together or just in a situationship, the psychological impact of such scenarios can foster feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and even depression.

Even if he still wants to hang out platonically, the friend zone is a tough spot for a star-crossed lover. You’re stuck in romantic Limbo, where your love could never bloom.

But here's your wake-up call: Understanding this emotional toll is your first strut toward healing. Acknowledge it, own it, and let it guide you to coping strategies that don't involve stalking his Instagram at 3 a.m. 

10 tips on how to get over someone you never dated

How long does it take to get over someone? This is a tough question to answer. Just like any wound, how fast it heals depends on how well you care for it. If you nurse it carefully and take time to disinfect it (even if it stings!), it could be an old scar in just a few weeks.

On the other hand, it could fester for years if you pick at it and leave it exposed. That’s why Nurse Grindr is here to show you how to get on the fast track to recovery.

Try these tactics to ease your heartbreak:

1. Give it time

All right, lovelorn lads, here's the deal: Feelings aren’t just a switch you can flip off. If you’ve got a crush that never quite became "a thing," that sting can rival any epic breakup ballad.

Time isn't just your buddy when you’re waiting for the next bus on the route to healing; it's your healer, your detox guru, and your emotional reset button. So, as much as you might want to slam on the gas, it’s probably best to pump the brakes instead.

By giving your ticker the time it deserves to mend, you'll ensure that when you're ready to jump back into the love arena, you're fighting fit and not just nursing a bruise. Patience is more than just a virtue; it's the roadmap to a healthier heart.

2. Talk to someone you can trust

Sometimes, the baggage gets so overwhelming you can't see straight. You're swimming in the deep end of “what ifs” and “whys.” You need an external perspective to see things clearly. 

Maybe it's a buddy who's been down this emotional rollercoaster before or that family member who's always got your back, no questions asked.

For some, their LGBTQ support groups are pure gold. Those queer spaces are filled with folks who get the ups, downs, and loop-de-loops of gay dating. Lean on them. They're there to lend an ear, drop some wisdom, and help you navigate this wild ride. So, open up and let 'em in.

3. Cut the cord and go no-contact

Out of sight, out of mind. Lingering digital threads or casual run-ins with your not-quite-ex can reopen emotional wounds.

Sometimes, you've gotta play hardball with your own feelings. Constantly seeing their latest selfie or running into them at that mutual haunt? Poking that wound will just keep reminding it to hurt. So, do yourself a solid: Hit the digital and real-world unfollow for a bit. This isn't about being petty; it's about self-preservation. Give your heart a break; it deserves one.


4. Stop fantasizing

Fantasies are like candy: sweet and tempting, but not exactly substantial. Sure, escaping into a daydream about what could have been sounds fun, but it's not doing your heart any favors. Not every casual fling can lead to a relationship, even in your imagination.

That rosy picture you paint in your head is just the highlight reel, not the full movie with its awkward scenes and cringe-worthy bloopers. Every time you're off in la-la-land with Mr. Maybe, you're not here, present in the real world, working on Mr. Right Now — and that's you.

Get out of your head and dive into the authentic, messy, and utterly beautiful reality, complete with all its flaws. That's where the magic truly happens.

5. Face your fears and feelings

Remember how we said reality had flaws? Time to face them. Because tucking those messy feelings away like mismatched socks at the back of your drawer is not the slickest move.

Those emotions aren’t going to go away on their own. Sure, suppressing might give you a temporary reprieve to get over the shock, but you’ll need to confront the nastiness eventually. Ultimately, running from feelings is like doing cardio on a treadmill — you're sweating but not really getting anywhere.

So, cowboy up, dive deep into that emotional quagmire, and wrestle those fears and feelings. Confronting that mess is the foundation of rebuilding your self-worth brick by brick. Feel, heal, and reveal that upgraded you.

6. Rebuild your self-esteem

Feeling like a party balloon the day after the bash? Flat, a little wrinkled, and questioning your worth? Don’t worry; you're not destined to stay grounded.

It's time to reinflate that ego. Dive into what lights you up — whether that's serving face and fierceness at the local drag show or engaging in a meditative and solitary pursuit.

You're a supernova in a world of regular stars. So, shine on, and let the world see that shimmer. Heartbreak or not, you're still the main event, the showstopper, the one to watch.

7. Make space for someone new

That heart of yours is prime real estate, and right now, yesterday's news is sitting in the driveway getting soggy.

It's time for a spring cleaning of the soul (and your dating profiles). Dust off that Grindr and take a peek. The world's filled with blokes who are ready to be tonight's fleeting thrill, and some of them aren’t just DTF; they’re DTDate! Beneath that six-pack or witty bio, there might be a gent looking for a genuine connection, just like you.

Make room in that big heart of yours for fresh memories and maybe — just maybe — the next big thing.

8. Get physical (but not that way)

No, we're not talking about another one-night stand. Exercise releases endorphins that make you happy. So, whether it's hitting the gym or dancing the night away at a club, get that body moving!

9. Journal your journey

Grab a pen (or even your phone) and jot down your feelings. It's like talking to someone about your heartbreak, but that someone is you this time, so you don’t have to pretend to be nice about it.

Reflect on your entries later to see how far you've come. You'll be amazed at your emotional growth.

10. Seek professional help if needed

If you're still singing the blues and can't seem to shake it off, it might be time to seek professional help. Unless that hottie you matched with back in step seven has a master’s degree in psychology — although that sounds like a conflict of interest.

Remember, therapists aren't only for breakdowns; they're for breakthroughs, too.

Get back out there with Grindr

You can read all the tips in the world, but everything will stay the same once you take that crucial step: acceptance. Yeah, it's a hard pill to swallow, but guess what? It's the medicine you need to start healing.

You've got to accept that he wasn't the one, at least not for you, not right now. And that's okay! You're still a catch, and there's plenty of fish in the sea on Grindr. It's not just a playground for casual flings; it's a community where love can flourish in all its glorious forms.

Download the Grindr app, or browse hands-free with Grindr Web — the same Grindr you know and love, now available on your laptop or PC with no download required.

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