Butt Stuff for Beginners: Your First Time With a Butt Plug

First-time butt plug users rejoice! Grindr has the essential guide to gettin’ busy with your behind. So grab some lube; ass is in session!
Editorial team
February 5, 2024
February 27, 2024
min. read
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Despite being born this way, we aren’t born with the proper knowledge to start shoving things in orifices. But you know what they say: Practice makes perfect. So, maybe it’s time to start stretching your mind (and your ass) to accommodate all life’s possibilities.

Many people find themselves at a crossroads, excited to take it from behind but unsure how. Butt plugs make for fantastic training wheels for the real deal.

Your first-time butt plug experience is a step toward a healthy relationship with your anus (and potentially someone else’s penis). Why not have a good time with it and explore your body? We’ll act as your personal anal trainer and explain how you can use this toy to facilitate more enjoyable gay sex — and maybe even an anal orgasm. Let’s dream big!

What is a butt plug?

So, what are butt plugs for? Unsurprisingly, there’s no mystery to solve here: Butt plugs go into your butt and just kinda vibe out. 

Although some can actually double as vibrators, vibrating toys and butt plugs are generally categorized differently. They’re closer to dildos since vibration is an option, not a universal feature.

Butt plugs are a pretty versatile sex toy; all you need is an ass and some spare time. They’re perfect for exploring how your body reacts to anal sex while also training it to get used to the sensation. They need a flared base so you can safely retrieve them from your rectum.

Plugs have certainly gained a following for making gay sex a lot sexier, but they’re an excellent option for people with vaginas too. Hell, even open-minded (and open-anused) straight guys are known to use them. At the end of the day, we all have a hole full of nerve endings we’re just dying to stimulate. 

For gay men, butt plugs are somewhat of an institution when preparing your body for the skin-covered beer can your date just sent you a picture of. And they’re well-suited for their purpose. Provided you use enough lube and go slow, you shouldn’t experience discomfort when using one. 

It’s usually quite the opposite: Butt plugs, dildos, and other things that go bump in your rectum are fantastic for prostate stimulation. Just you wait; your first-time anal experience is bound to unearth some exciting sexual prospects.

How to use a butt plug

The concept of anal plugs is relatively simple, but the actual act of plugging can get messy quickly, especially if you’re just starting. Here are a few pro tips to help you graduate from just the tip:

1. Start small and work your ass up

Don’t be a hero. If you’re new to ass play, you shouldn’t start with something the size of a fully mature eggplant. You might not even be able to handle something the size of an average penis. 

Honestly? Start insanely small. Buy one the size of a thimble or the end of a number two pencil. Maybe they don’t make those, but get one with similar vibes. You can always go up in size when you’re ready. But starting too big as a beginner is an easy street to frustration, pain, and discomfort.

2. Lube is your friend

Short of turning yourself into a human log flume, there really is no such thing as too much lube. Lubricate your asshole whenever you’re about to put something inside; it helps tremendously with ease and comfort. Soon, you’ll be stuffing yourself like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Pro tip: Silicone lube is great for playing around with your behind, but only if you’re not using a silicone toy. Otherwise, buy a water-based lube to prevent the silicone from eroding your fresh toy, lest you think you’ve got a starving ass that’s eating away at it.

3. Don’t be afraid to douche

You are putting something inside your human ass. There is literally no way this will end well unless you accept the potential mess or make an effort to keep things clean

Douching makes everything about ass play a lot more comfortable. And while you can’t always fight the moonlight, so to speak, you can certainly try.

If you’re a vagina-haver (or you just like sharing), don’t take out the plug from your ass and cram it up anywhere else until you’ve washed it. Even clean holes harbor bacteria from your bussy biome that don’t play nicely with the rest of your body.

How to stick that plug

Now that you’re well-versed in self-porking, you’re probably getting antsy about trying a plug for yourself. But before you cork yourself like a fine chardonnay you’re saving for tomorrow, read these best practices to keep things as relaxed as possible.

Be mindful of your angle

Sticking an insertable plug directly in your ass is not recommended; it’s usually a lot easier to get it in if you insert it at a 45-degree angle. Basically, point the tip toward your belly button as you slowly ease it in (with lots of lube, remember).


Pain has no place here

Barring some specific circumstances involving BDSM and pain play where you’re being very deliberate, you should stop the minute you feel pain. That’s your body telling you something is wack.

It’s also totally fine and normal if it’s not as enjoyable or comfy as you’d hoped. Your body can be fickle. Just listen to what it’s saying and abide by it. If your heart (or hole) isn’t in it, try other forms of foreplay and stimulation. We’re certain something else will get you going.

Pleasure is already at your fingertips

You know what works great as an insertable for a quick warm-up? Your fingers! And they’re often just the right size to loosen you up before you start entertaining foreign objects in your body’s basement.

If you’re enjoying some plug-and-play with your partner, they can warm you up, too. That might help you get in the mood. And don’t forget to stimulate the surrounding parts; the penis and perineum are right there and ready to be included in the fun.

Switchin’ the positions for you

Many butt play enjoyers say doggy style is often the comfiest way to insert a toy. You’re welcome to try this approach if you like, but don’t be afraid to experiment, either. All anuses are different, and that’s what makes them beautiful.

Well, that and the sex stuff.

Taking it out

Ready to close up shop? Take slow, steady, deep breaths and gently slide it out — no yanking. You can also have a partner do this, but either way, removing the plug gets a lot easier if you’ve recently had an orgasm. It’s not like you needed more incentive, but it’s certainly a good excuse.

Best anal plugs for the beginner

So, which plugs take the cake when loosening up your cake? Here are our favorite anal plugs to break you in gently:

The Unbound Nudge

This silicone butt plug is tailor-made for beginners. The slim, tapered tip makes for easy insertion, and it’s made from smooth, cushy silicone. It’s one for people of all experience levels to toss in their cart if they want to give anus play a go.


The aptly named cone is a minimalist’s dream. It’s discreet and petite — ideal for newbies. And it’s made by the sex toy company maude, known for its modern designs that focus on both form and function.

njoy’s Pure Plug

The njoy Pure Plug has a bit more heft to it since it’s made from stainless steel. Its sleek design plays well with silicone lube thanks to the hardy material. It also retains heat and cold if that’s something that intrigues you.

Pure Love Fluffy Bunny Tail

We know there are plenty of you who’d love to incorporate more role-playing into your sex life. And there’s no time like the present when you can be a naughty widdle bunny with a plug in your butt. If you’re into pet play, this is an excellent jumping off — er, hopping off — point for butt play.

Anus-thing is possible

A butt plug is an instrumental tool for stretching your ass beyond what you thought was possible. But what’s the secret to shucking that tight man clam of yours? Confidence. 

And lube. Seriously, we can’t stress the lube thing enough. 

How about another quick plug for you? We’ve got an app full of guys who can’t wait to see all that anal training pay off. That’s right; it’s Grindr! A place where gay sex and butt plugs are just par for the course.

Download the Grindr app now and get started.

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