What do you get when you mix soft rap, a dash of K-pop chaos, and a two-seat convertible flying through the Hollywood Hills at night? You get “Passenger princess,” the flirty, late-night-drive anthem from Tutafarel — the Brazilian-born, LA-based multimedia artist whose upcoming album Monte Casanova is shaping up to be part queer fantasy, part digital fever dream.

The song is sexy, playful, and cinematic, but like much of Tutafarel’s work, it’s got depth under the gloss. Inspired by everything from 90s action films to Giacomo Casanova himself, the Monte Casanova universe blends music, literature, and film into a story about desire, imperfection, and making space for softness in a hyper-staged world. We caught up with the self-described passenger princess to talk queer intimacy, musical inspirations, and what it means to just be along for the ride.

How would you like to introduce yourself to the Grindr fam?

Hi! I’m Tutafarel, a Brazilian-born artist living in LA. I like to think of myself as a bit of a polymath, or a “Renaissance man”, if you will. I write, produce, perform, direct, edit... and occasionally overthink all my life choices.

I make multimedia pop projects, but I also have an academic side: I love studying and writing about film and media theory. I’m a total nerd who’ll stay in watching Star Trek one night, then dance until 3 a.m. the next. Call it the best of both worlds! I try to follow my heart more than my head these days, very Passenger Princess of me.

Q: So, let’s get into it… what exactly is a Passenger Princess? And why are you proudly claiming the title?

To me, a Passenger Princess is someone who chooses softness in a world that demands control. It’s someone who reclaims pleasure, romance, and intimacy as forms of agency.

The song came from a real moment: riding shotgun late at night through the Hollywood Hills, this guy driving with one hand on the wheel and the other on my leg, music loud, lights rushing past. I looked at my reflection in the window blending with the city lights, and for a second, I felt pure joy in letting go. There was something beautiful about surrendering to the moment, letting an outside force take over.

The “Passenger Princess” title felt like the perfect way to explore that. In a world dominated by surveillance and curated online identities, we all need the reminder that life is happening now, and that sometimes, the most radical thing we can do is enjoy the present.

Q: Your music video and the Prelude teaser you posted on Instagram both have serious cinematic vibes. What inspired them?

The visual world of Passenger Princess is meant to define the ethos of a modern-day romantic; someone soft, emotional, and self-aware in the age of digital spectatorship. With the prelude teaser in particular, I wanted to create a filmic artifact that blends fiction and self-portraiture. The visual style was heavily inspired by Agnès Varda, especially her documentary The Gleaners and I. I loved the raw, handheld intimacy in her work; the way she reframes the ordinary as poetic. That was the foundation for the way I shot this: low-res, spontaneous, and deeply personal.

At the same time, I wove in scenes from films like Thelma & Louise, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and Lost in Translation, all of which touch on queer-coded themes of escape, self-discovery, and intimate rebellion. I was curious about what it means to insert a queer body into those cinematic lineages. What does it mean to be the passenger, not the driver? The one watched, not the one in control? The video becomes an act of queer authorship, using montage, reflection, and touch to rewrite traditional dynamics of power and desire.

The music video moves between moments of voyeurism and intimacy: taking selfies, lounging in bed, riding through the city, and even disappearing into a fantasy world when taking a shower. It’s not just about being seen, but seeing yourself, and realizing that surrender can be powerful too. The Passenger Princess doesn’t escape reality. They rewrite it.

Q: What’s the story behind the song itself? Where did it come from sonically and emotionally?

When I was making Passenger Princess, I was listening to a lot of K-pop, that shiny, glitzy, high-energy kind of sound, but also Doja Cat, PinkPantheress, Addison Rae, and Brockhampton. I wanted to blend all those worlds together: the glossy hyperpop edge, the soft feminine sparkle, and that confident, chaotic male energy. Sonically, it’s all beep, boppity-boop, but in a way that feels warm and intimate too.

Emotionally, I wanted it to feel like joy. Like something you put on while you’re biking through the city or getting ready to go out, something that lifts your spirit instantly. I think of it as a flirty little confidence spell.

I produced the whole thing myself on GarageBand, like the rest of my debut album, because I wanted to keep that bedroom-pop intimacy. There’s something powerful about making a pop anthem from scratch in your room, it’s both personal and larger than life at the same time.

Q: You’re not just dropping a song, you’re building a universe with your album. What is Monte Casanova all about?

Monte Casanova is my debut album, and I wanted it to be a project that really represents me sonically, something innovative but still rooted in pop. I think of it in the same way Motomami is for Rosalía, Melodrama is for Lorde, or Montero is for Lil Nas X; a world of its own. It’s an album that moves through different moods and genres but always cohesive, like you’re being taken on a journey.

While I was working on the music, the universe started expanding on its own. The songs were so visual that they naturally evolved into storytelling, and that’s how the book of the same title and a TikTok series were born. The book, which is Succession meets Romeo & Juliet, is a two-act queer tragedy set in a futuristic Los Angeles ruled by media spectacle, where love and politics blur into a chaotic unfolding of desire, intimacy, and betrayal. The daily TikTok series acts as a prelude, turning that universe into something lived, part diary, part drama, letting people step inside it in real time.

Together, they form one big narrative about desire, identity, and the chaos of being seen in the modern age. I wanted to create something cinematic and emotional, but still Pop at its core, something that invites people to get lost in it the way I did while making it. It’s Pop escapism down boots!

Q: How do you think the idea of the Passenger Princess speaks to the queer experience today?

There’s something very queer and radical about surrender. We’re constantly negotiating power, identity, and desire, often without a roadmap. The Passenger Princess is someone who creates their own archetype. It’s about letting go, but also about being witnessed. There’s deep tenderness in that. We deserve to be soft. We deserve to be held. And we can still hold power in that softness. Letting go doesn’t mean living passively; sometimes it’s the most intentional act of all.

Q: Who or what inspires you right now — musically, aesthetically, emotionally?

This artwork was drawn by John Brooks. We got together one afternoon and he took some photos of me that he later turned into this piece. That’s his dog Ludwig, by the way, sitting calmly next to me. I didn’t give him a specific brief. I trusted his eye and I knew that whatever came back would feel honest.

What I love most are the strokes. You can see his hand in them. It’s not slick or overly polished. It’s soft and a little vulnerable. The texture makes it feel like a memory, or like someone trying to hold on to how something felt rather than how it looked. There’s something really tender in that.

John’s work often blends queer intimacy with dreamlike stillness, and I think this image is a perfect example. It captures the romance at the heart of “Passenger Princess.” Not romance in the sense of a love story, but romanticism as a worldview. The colors, the quiet, the way Ludwig looks at the viewer. It’s subtle, but it says so much. It reminds me that queerness can be soft and lush and dreamy, and still hold power. This isn’t a cover that screams. It glows.

Q: Last question: any message for other fellow Passenger Princesses reading this?

Just live in the present. Try not to worry too much about others, just do you. Ask for fries on the way home. You deserve it.

We’ve all been there. One moment, you’re considering anything from scaling a wall to spending stupid money on a taxi fare to meet your match. Or perhaps you’re already with them, and you find yourself offering, maybe even begging, to participate in some off-the-wall, new, kinky territory in pursuit of pleasure. You’re completely transfixed with meeting their needs, and your own, all in service of a shared end goal. On Grindr, that tunnel vision can feel industrial-strength.

After the Orgasm

And then, something shifts. In a matter of seconds, you’re in a near out-of-body state of relaxation, and the world around you is starting to look a whole lot different. You can’t believe the things you were considering doing… You’re confused, maybe even a little ashamed or disgusted by yourself. What’s changed? Well, you came, of course.

What is Post-Nut Clarity?

This extreme shift in mentality is on account of a phenomenon known to many as “post-nut clarity.” And as today marks one of our favourite holidays here at Grindr HQ—yes, we are referring to National Nut Day—we thought what better excuse to take a deep dive into this mindbending sensation so many of us experience after “busting a nut” in the hopes of understanding what exactly is occurring in the body to cause this epiphany-inducing state.

What Happens in the Brain?

According to Alexis Caught, a queer psychosexual therapist, post-nut clarity is a “mix of a neurobiological and a psychological experience,” meaning that it happens as a result of both chemical changes in the brain as well as our own pre-existing psychological state. “During sex, there is an absolute carnival of hormones going on within our body. All of the fun ones, like dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin, are coursing through us, and then it ends with the big finish when we orgasm,” he explains.

In the aftermath of orgasm, our dopamine levels drop sharply, and we have the mental capacity to consider more than just the task at hand. “We’ve gone from being narrowly focused, which is what we do when we have a goal, when we feel that motivation, and then our lens has widened,” describes Aisha Paris Smith, an award-winning somatic sexologist. In fact, the part of our brains that causes us to worry is literally turned off during sex, and so it is only after we climax that this function returns.

“Our nervous system swings from the sympathetic to parasympathetic, and our prefrontal cortex—the bit that is involved in reflection, but it’s also where shame lives in our brain—that comes back online,” Alexis outlines. “The thinking, rational, critical, judgmental part of our brain is suddenly back, and so the contrast between the two can feel jarring for people.”

Why It Can Hit Gay Men Harder

It’s through this widened lens that we can sometimes begin to reconsider our previous desires and actions. In fact, it’s proven that men who have sex with men are far more likely to experience psychosexual issues (such as erectile dysfunction) and more than twice as likely to experience general mental health struggles than our cis het counterparts, so we are at a distinct disadvantage when it comes to battling the post-nut blues. Add variables like hookup logistics, performance pressure, safety calculus, and centuries of having our sexualities stigmatised and pathologized by those around us, and the flip can feel sharper for queer men navigating app culture.

Use It—Don’t Overreact

The word “clarity” has relatively positive connotations, and, of course, this state of mind can sometimes be an opportunity to reconsider a situation with a partner and ask ourselves some important questions: Did I actually enjoy what we were just doing? What am I feeling uncomfortable with here? Do I feel I was respected or cared for? However, given that we are also in the midst of a significant hormonal shift while in this state, we must also be wary of our feelings during this time. It begs the question: how clear is post-nut clarity, actually?

Both Alexis and Aisha agree that, most of the time, the so-called epiphanies we experience during post-nut clarity can serve as a useful starting point to examine elements of our sex lives but, as we are still in such a vulnerable state, it is important not to put too much credence on what we feel in that exact moment. 

“I would say allow yourself to not push these thoughts away and reject them, but also not to run with them into a place of regret or self-hatred,” Aisha offers. “It’s not a moment in which you can be objective. Your rational mind hasn’t come back yet, your system is still flooded with hormones, so it’s best to just observe what you’re feeling, and then perhaps that evening or an hour or two later, reflect or speak with someone, perhaps your partner, to try to discover what these feelings are telling you.”

Aftercare with Partners

It’s crucial, of course, that we look after ourselves while in this tender state; however, it is also important to note that often there is another individual involved to whom we also have a duty of care and respect. a. It’s possible that feelings of shame or self-loathing could lead us to wanting to reject our partner or speak about sex in a way that might be hurtful to them. We must remember that our partner is also in a vulnerable state, whether they have cum or not, and that our sudden shift in disposition could be confusing or hurtful to them.

Alexis suggests that, if you are with a partner you trust and feel comfortable with, it could be worth vocalising what you are feeling to them and seeking post-sex aftercare such as cuddling, hair stroking and other forms of non-sexual intimacy. In situations where we are not with a trusted partner, try to self-soothe before acting. Slow your breathing down, perhaps give yourself a hug, and, most importantly: “Remember it’s totally normal - about 50% of people will have experienced this at some point in their life,” he says, a figure he believes may be higher among queer men. “This is a temporary, shifting experience. It doesn’t mean it’s nice, but remind yourself that it will pass.”

Basic aftercare reads as simple kindness: a check-in, a sip of water, a minute of quiet before dressing. Small things soften the flip for both people.

Dealing Post-Nut Clarity Solo 

Of course, all of this assumes that you are in person with a sexual partner, but as many Grindr users will know, often we experience post-nut clarity when we are by ourselves after using the app while self-pleasuring. Sometimes we explore fantasies online we’re not ready for in real life—and that’s okay. The contrast between our virtual sexual escapades and real life can be a common trigger during post-nut clarity. Aisha notes that many people will struggle as they try to come to terms and ask themselves: “Can I include in my self-image that I desire this thing, that I fantasize about this thing, even if I accept I am not ready to meet it in real life?”

Queer desire has always had a vivid imaginative wing; fantasy isn’t less authentic than real sex, it’s just different. The work—later, not immediately after—can be deciding whether any piece of that fantasy belongs in your IRL sex life, and under what boundaries.

Don’t Ghost

Nevertheless, post-nut clarity is not a license to disregard the feelings of someone who has been vulnerable with you online, including anyone who shared intimate images or explicit messages. It can be tempting to vanish or block, but there is a human being on the other end of that interaction. A sudden one-eighty or ghosting can leave them hurt and confused, and they may have believed you would meet in real life; they may even have started preparing. Aisha notes that behaving in this way during post-nut clarity can “create a system of objectification that actually leaves both parties feeling unsatisfied.” We’ve all been on the other end of this sort of false exchange, so, in short, don’t be that guy!

If plans change, a brief message turns a messy comedown into a clean exit. You don’t need a speech—just clarity and courtesy.

Bottom Line

So what have we learned then? First and foremost, post-nut clarity is completely normal and experienced by a huge percentage of people. Secondly, try to check yourself in this state before behaving in a way that might hurt another individual’s feelings—remember, they’re probably in some sort of tender state themselves.

And lastly, if you find yourself struggling with thoughts and feelings that rise to the surface during post-nut clarity, don’t panic—you won’t feel like that forever. “For most people, it will be quite a small wave,” Alexis points out (though he notes that a very small percentage of people might remain in this state for a number of hours, or in extreme cases a day). “So just allow yourself to ride it and embrace the curiosity it inspires in that immediate aftermath.” Wait—not post-nut clarity actually being potentially psychologically useful? As if we needed another excuse to bust a nut…

At Grindr, we’re always looking for ways to simplify our development process. One goal that kept coming up was: “Let’s use only one dependency manager across all our codebase.” And that meant saying goodbye to CocoaPods and fully embracing Swift Package Manager (SPM).

For the most part, it was a smooth transition until we got to our Ads stack, which includes AppLovin and a variety of mediation adapters. That’s where things got tricky.

This is the story of how we worked around those limitations, reused what CocoaPods gave us, and built a tool to generate a working Swift package from a bunch of .xcframeworks.

Why did we need to build our own Swift package?

If you’ve ever worked with AppLovin, you know the core SDK supports SPM. But what about the mediation adapters (Unity, GAM, HyBid…)? Not so much.

“Note, this Swift package only includes the main AppLovin MAX SDK. We currently do not support installing MAX mediation network adapters using Swift Package Manager.”
https://github.com/AppLovin/AppLovin-MAX-Swift-Package

At the time, most of AppLovin’s adapters were still only available via CocoaPods. That meant if we wanted to use SPM for everything (hint: which we did), we’d need a custom workaround.

After a bit of digging, we noticed something interesting: when you run pod install, CocoaPods downloads precompiled .xcframeworks for many of these dependencies.

That gave us an idea: What if we could take those .xcframeworks and use them to build our own Swift package?

This is how our idea came through...

Step One: Build a Fake Project

To test our idea, we created a minimal project with a Podfile that included AppLovin and all the mediation adapters we use. We ran pod install, and just like we hoped, many of the SDKs were downloaded as .xcframework bundles.

So far, so good.

But not everything was perfect. Some dependencies didn’t come with .xcframeworks at all; they were just pulled in as source code.

Step Two: Hunt for Binaries

For those source-based dependencies, we had to get creative, e.g HyBid.

We visited GitHub releases, vendor documentation, or artifact servers to manually find the correct .xcframework versions. It wasn’t elegant, but it worked, and once we had all the binaries in one place, we could move forward.

Step Three: Automate All the Things

We knew we didn’t want to repeat this process manually every time. So we built a set of scripts to automate everything:

• Generate the temporary CocoaPods project (XcodeGen)
• Run pod install
• Collect all the .xcframeworks
• Organize them into a clean directory (automated with a script)
• Generate a Package.swift file using binaryTargets
• Automatically compute the checksums for remote .zip packages (like AppLovin and HyBid)

In the end, we had a reproducible pipeline that turns a set of binary frameworks into a proper Swift package.

Validating Everything Works

Once we had the package integrated into the main app, we did a full test sweep:

Everything rendered correctly and loaded as expected, but as with any dependency migration, we hit a few bumps along the way.

Duplicate Symbols and Module Conflicts

Initially, we noticed that some builds failed due to duplicate symbol errors. This happened because a few .xcframeworks shared internal symbols across modules, or some were being linked more than once due to improper dependency declarations.

To resolve this, we had to carefully restructure the binary targets, ensuring that:

• Dependencies were declared only once per product.
• Wrapper targets were created for certain SDKs (e.g., AppLovin) to control linker behavior.
• Shared modules weren’t pulled in multiple times through transitive dependencies.

Controlling Linkage Behavior in SPM

Unlike CocoaPods, SPM handles linking automatically, which usually works well, but for performance-sensitive frameworks like ad SDKs, we needed more control.

We introduced custom .target entries with explicit linkerSettings, making sure the required system frameworks were statically linked. This helped us:

• Avoid increased launch times.
• Prevent SPM from defaulting to dynamic linking for certain modules.
• Match the behavior of our previous CocoaPods integration.

Handling Google SDKs with High Coupling

Some Google libraries (like GoogleMobileAds) have complex transitive dependencies, and managing them manually through .xcframework references proved brittle.

What We Learned

• CocoaPods remains a practical tool for resolving and extracting binary artifacts
  While SPM is our long-term solution, CocoaPods can still serve a transitional purpose, particularly when dealing with SDKs that don’t yet expose precompiled binaries via .xcframework.zip. It reliably resolves versioned dependencies and materializes the .xcframeworks we can later repackage for SPM.
  
• Swift Package Manager supports complex setups via binaryTarget and custom linkage
  SPM’s binaryTarget support allows for clean integration of precompiled frameworks, even in ecosystems not originally designed for it. Combined with target configurations for linking system frameworks and setting linkerSettings, it provides the necessary tools to replace CocoaPods in binary-focused setups.
  
• Automating the pipeline eliminates manual, error-prone work
  By scripting the generation of Package.swift, dependency resolution, and checksum calculation, we created a reproducible and scalable process. This ensures consistency across environments (CI/local), reduces onboarding friction, and avoids configuration drift.
  
• Explicit project structure improves maintainability and clarity
  Separating concerns into dedicated directories — one for framework artifacts, one for script logic, and one for the generated package — brings transparency to the system. This makes it easier to maintain, debug, and evolve the tooling over time without unintended side effects.
  
  

https://developer.apple.com/documentation/xcode/distributing-binary-frameworks-as-swift-packages

https://www.emergetools.com/blog/posts/make-your-ios-app-smaller-with-dynamic-frameworks#building-our-xcframework

At Grindr for Equality, our mission has always been simple: to use the reach of Grindr’s global platform to improve the health, safety, and rights of LGBTQ+ people everywhere. 

Grindr’s reach is truly global, about 80% of our users are outside the U.S., including many in the roughly 65 countries where it’s still a crime to be gay and the 150+ countries where same-sex couples can’t marry. Our goal is to meet communities where they are, especially in places where access to services, safety, and equality are most at risk. 

Despite significant advances, 1.3 million people acquired HIV in 2023, and PrEP access remains critically low in the regions that need it most. The groups we partner with are supporting the global response, leveraging Grindr daily to share life-saving information and support. 

This year, I’m proud to share that we’re supporting five partner organizations whose work shares our mission. These groups are driving critical progress in HIV prevention, marriage equality, and community safety. These awards strengthen that work by pairing trusted community leadership with Grindr’s digital Gayborhood.

Each organization brings unique expertise to urgent community needs:

• International Treatment Preparedness Coalition (ITPC Global) supports LGBTQ+-led organizations across Latin America, Africa, and Eastern Europe/Central Asia to fill urgent HIV service gaps and launch digital prevention campaigns through Grindr.
• Sustained Health Initiatives of the Philippines pilots in-app HIV outreach that connects users to self-testing, TelePrEP, and mental health support in one of Asia’s fastest-growing epidemics.
• Freedom to Marry Global brings advocates from more than 20 countries together to coordinate regional marriage equality efforts in Europe and Asia, while using Grindr to extend their reach beyond traditional advocacy spaces.
• Marriage For All Japan leads a national mobilization campaign ahead of an expected Supreme Court ruling, using Grindr to share videos and surveys that turn widespread public support into visible action.
• Solidarity and Action Against The HIV Infection in India (SAATHII) launches a community safety pilot in India, providing legal helplines, harm reduction resources, and safety information through discreet in-app messages.

Each of these partnerships reflects the same idea: when community leaders have the resources they need and the ability to reach people directly, they can accelerate change at scale.

We’ll be sharing updates from these projects over the next year as they roll out. I’m continually inspired by the ingenuity and dedication of our partners and grateful that Grindr for Equality can help amplify their work.

Together, we’re building a world where LGBTQ+ people can live openly, safely, and with the knowledge and resources to thrive.

‍Learn more about Grindr for Equality and our partners.

The 2025 Awards are disbursed through the Grindr for Equality Fund at the Tides Foundation. 

Happy National Dessert Day. If you’ve got a sweet tooth, consider the most decadent course on the menu: eating ass. It’s intimate, it’s playful, and when you do it right, it’s a trust fall that should end in fireworks, not crumbs.

Eating ass has hit the mainstream—and why not? There are a lot of nerve endings down there, making it a seriously underrated erogenous zone. For those who love to give, being face-deep in someone you trust can be intimate and deeply satisfying. It’s one of those acts that’s equal parts pleasure and connection. And honestly, it’s a hole. We all have one, and everyone deserves to enjoy theirs.

Just because rimming is trending doesn’t mean our rim literacy has caught up. More interest means more potential for mishaps, which is why your salad-tossing pals at Grindr are here with the lowdown on the down below.

Notebooks (and tongue rings) at the ready…

Ask First, Lick Later 

Let’s start where all good things do: communication. Asking someone to eat your ass—or to eat theirs—can feel vulnerable. Talk about preferences, boundaries, safe words, positions, and anything else that helps you both relax. Keep checking in during the moment. The more trust you build, the hotter it gets.

Clean Plate Club 

Some people are into funkier smells and tastes, and that’s fine—do you. But safety and hygiene matter when it comes to rimming. Bacterial infections like Shigella, Giardia, E. coli, or Hepatitis A can be passed through oral-anal contact. UTIs are also possible if you’re swapping from ass to cock frequently.

If you’re exploring with multiple partners, keep communication extra open and honest.

An enema or douche isn’t always necessary; rimming focuses on the rim itself, not deep penetration. Still, it helps to shower first or at least clean the area as best you can (and yes, respect your giver). If douching helps ease anxiety, go for it—but be gentle and give yourself at least an hour before play. Trimming or shaving is optional.

For givers: check your mouth. Avoid rimming if you have a cold sore or any cuts. Stay up-to-date on vaccines like Hepatitis A and B. If you’re moving from oral to anal sex, swap to a condom and a fresh, thick lube (silicone-based is great; flavored water-based is best for oral).

Lovely, now, what exactly makes for good rimming? 

Now for the fun part.

Rimming is all about stimulating the ring of nerve endings around the anus. Some people think it’s just licking, but it goes way, way, deeper than that. Go slow. Build anticipation. Alternate between circling the rim, teasing with your tongue, and letting your breath do some work too.

Keep things dynamic. Tease, pause, then go back in. You can flatten your tongue for broader contact or flick for a sharper sensation. Some receivers love a little penetration with a fingertip or toy (just communicate and use lube).

The crinkled outer edge of the anus is especially sensitive. Trace it. Explore. Pay attention to body language, moans, and movement. They’ll tell you what’s working better than words ever could.

Okay, so position-wise? 

Comfort and access are key. Here are a few classics:

• Doggy style: easy reach, classic angle.
  
  
• On stomach, hips propped by a pillow: relaxed and open.
  
  
• Spread-eagle: more exposure, great visibility for the giver.
  
  
• Face-sitting (reverse or not): power for the receiver, leverage for the giver—and easily turns into a 69.

There’s a lot to explore with rimming, and pleasure, trust, communication, and connection are all crucial ingredients to have your cake and eat it, too. On this National Dessert Day, skip the cupcakes and celebrate with something even sweeter: good technique, good hygiene, and a very satisfied partner.

When Together TakeMeHome launched in March 2023, we knew access could change everything. The program, created to make HIV testing more accessible across the U.S. by mailing free at-home kits, has now reached an extraordinary milestone: one million tests delivered nationwide. 

One in four were first-time testers, and nearly half ordered their kits through Grindr’s in-app link, demonstrating how trusted technology, when guided by community purpose, can change lives.

Removing Barriers

Together TakeMeHome is a public–private partnership led by Emory University, Building Healthy Online Communities (BHOC), the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), NASTAD, OraSure, Signal, and Grindr. Grindr has supported TakeMeHome since 2020, before the program scaled nationally. By integrating a self-testing kit delivery button directly into the Grindr app, we’ve made it possible for users across the U.S. and Puerto Rico to order a free test in less than a minute, removing barriers like cost, transportation, and stigma that have long kept many from getting tested.

As Jen Hecht, Co-Founder of BHOC, puts it:

“Together TakeMeHome shows what’s possible when public health meets people where they are: online, in their communities, and on their terms. Reaching one million test kits is an incredible milestone for our program and the communities it serves. This program helps overcome barriers to testing, such as transportation, time, and concerns about privacy and judgment. We hear from our users that they appreciate the ease and convenience of ordering online and testing at home. 

This program is supported not only by the reach of Grindr’s digital platform but also by its advocacy, which has made a significant difference in our ability to navigate funding challenges and keep this work moving forward. It’s a powerful example of what partnership looks like in action – and we’re only getting started.”

This summer, when concerns arose about continued funding, Grindr, along with other community partners, emphasized the program’s positive impact on US residents to congressional supporters and federal agencies, helping ensure the renewal moved forward so the program and partnership could continue. At the end of September, Together TakeMeHome received its requested funding, allowing for another 360,000 free HIV tests to be distributed in the next year. This milestone shows what’s possible when partnership, advocacy, and communities come together to protect access to public health programs.

Expanding Access

Globally, one in five people remains unaware of their HIV status, and the World Health Organization now recommends HIV self-testing as a key strategy to reach global “95-95-95” goals: ensuring that 95% of people living with HIV know their status, 95% of those who know their status receive treatment, and 95% of those on treatment are virally suppressed.

The success of Together TakeMeHome shows that digital access can be a powerful equalizer by helping reach the communities most affected by HIV and accelerating progress toward ending the epidemic.

A Model for the World

Funded by the CDC and implemented by BHOC and Emory, Together TakeMeHome is now being recognized as a global model for digital health innovation. The program has inspired similar efforts around the world, where Grindr for Equality, in partnership with BHOC, works with community partners to adapt the approach to local needs and languages.

From launched programs in Australia, Namibia, New Zealand, Georgia, Ireland, and across London to pilot initiatives in Cambodia, Spain, Switzerland, and Vietnam, Grindr for Equality has teamed up with local organizations to integrate HIV self-testing into the Grindr app and connect users to nearby resources. In each country, these collaborations share the same foundation: community partnership, cultural relevance, and user trust.

Looking Ahead

Reaching one million HIV self-tests is a major milestone, but it’s also just the beginning. The need for accessible testing remains urgent, especially as funding cuts and anti-LGBTQ laws threaten to reverse progress. Together, TakeMeHome proves that there’s a way forward that relies on collaboration, innovation, and the belief that everyone deserves the right to know their status.

At Grindr for Equality, we’re continuing to expand this model globally with public health officials, local advocates, and community organizations to remove barriers to prevention. Every test sent out is an act of care, an act of trust, and a step toward a healthier, more equitable world.

You can order your free HIV self-test kit in the U.S. through the Free HIV Test Kit button in the Grindr app or at together.takemehome.org.

I’m an astrologer, and this fall looks horny as hell, particularly for Aries, Cancers, and Scorpios. The astrology behind this: Mars, the planet of sex, desire, and motivation, which is currently supercharged in Scorpio, one of its home signs. It will be here until November 4.

If you’re familiar with Scorpio energy — think scary, but in a sexy way — then you’ll know that we’ve got a steamy season ahead of us. This month, expect to crave more passion and depth during sex, the sort of fucking that’s so hot and connected, you fixate on it for days. You might clock a higher libido, or feel drawn toward kinkier, more intense sexual experiences. D/s (dom and sub) dynamics? Check. Erotic revenge fantasies à la “My Kink Is Karma” by Chappell Roan? Also check. 

With Scorpio’s strong intuition guiding your actions, trusting your gut on Grindr will pay off (read: getting fucked so hard that you feel it in your guts). Keep reading to learn more about what this means for your sex life. And if you’re one of those gays who loves astrology and knows your full birth chart inside and out: I see you. Read for your Rising sign as well as your Sun sign.

Aries

Go deeper, Aries — with your desires and your sexual partners. That one kink you’ve been too shy to list on your Grindr profile? Add it. The person you’ve been sleeping with regularly but haven’t opened up to yet? Have an honest-to-god conversation with them about something other than whether they want to top or bottom tonight. Mars in Scorpio is here to remind you that casual sex and emotional intimacy aren’t mutually exclusive.

Taurus

You’re feeling intensely horny too, Taurus — that is, for intimacy and connection. If you’re monogamous and romantically partnered, Mars in Scorpio will dial up the heat in your sex life. You might even catch yourself stirring the pot with your S.O. in the hopes of bringing out their inner dom. Alternatively, if you’re non-monogamous or single, this could be the push you need to be more strategic about dating or using the apps. Align your actions with your desires.

Gemini

All work and no play makes for a dull life, Gemini. Mars in Scorpio is your periodic push to be more intentional about scheduling and prioritization. By all means, tend to the everyday obligations you can’t ignore, but not at the expense of your sexual pleasure or fulfillment. Can you carve out time to scroll on the apps after work? What about sneaking out for a quickie on your lunch break?

Cancer

Play is the name of the game for you, Cancer. Your libido just got a major boost, as did your desire to get more creative in the bedroom. Whether you’re curious about refreshing your sex playlist, curating your first Private Album on Grindr, or exploring different kinks, now is the time. Have fun! Hopefully, you’ll get some good orgasms out of it.

Leo

Mars in Scorpio is hitting close to home for you, Leo. You’re probably in the mood to host right now versus venturing out for hookups (and if you do, they’ll be <.1 miles away). Regardless, you’ll get the most out of this horny season if you treat your home like your private sex dungeon erotic sanctuary. Break out the massage oils, butt plugs, restraints — anything that will make for a heightened sensory experience during sex, even if you’re fucking in a familiar way.

Virgo

I’ve got two words for you, Virgo: dirty talk. Mars in Scorpio will embolden you to voice some saucy, possibly even taboo things during sex (after you’ve discussed it with your sexual partner, of course). If you’re not a fan of literal dirty talk, take this opportunity to check in with yourself. Are you a true vers who’s fallen into a rut of only bottoming during sex? Talk about it! Open and honest communication won’t just improve your sex life; it will strengthen your relationships too.

Libra

They say time is money, and you’re feeling that right now, Libra. Mars in Scorpio is pushing you to use your time and energy strategically. That might mean sex and dating have taken a backseat to other priorities in your life — or it could mean that you’re being choosier about whomever you’re meeting up with from Grindr. That’s totally valid, but don’t get too hung up on niche preferences. Fixating on small things could rob you of some steamy connections.

Scorpio

If you’re feeling yourself for the first time in a while, you’re not imagining it, Scorpio. Mars rules Scorpio, and it’s been in a rough spot for virtually all of 2025. Now that it’s in your sign, it’s like you’re finally in the driver’s seat again. That’s your cue to be bolder and fuck harder. Yes, your enigmatic aura is part of your allure, but messaging first is hot too. Promise. And don’t stop there; ask for precisely what you want in bed. The kinkier, the better.

Sagittarius

Your challenge this month, Sag? To get out of your head and into your body. While you’ll definitely be feeling the undercurrent of horniness that is Mars in Scorpio, you might also notice that quieting your mind during hookups is a struggle. Prioritizing solo time, self-reflection, and even masturbation will help, as will pushing yourself to pause the music videos for once and open up to your friends about anything that’s weighing on you.

Capricorn

Fucking your friends can get messy, which isn’t usually your speed, Capricorn. In life and sex, you like your boundaries firm and your expectations clear. That said, if there were ever a time to hook up with someone in your friend circle or pursue group sex, this next month would be it. You’ll have good luck shooting your shot in social settings, too — think cruising hotspots, nights out at the gay club, or even the apps.

Aquarius

You’re feeling powerful right now, Aquarius, and other people can see it. Mars in Scorpio is your periodic reminder that you can always take charge of your erotic fulfillment, but also your overall happiness in life. So if your inner control-freak top hops out, run with it. Initiate the action! And if you’re someone who identifies as a daddy (gender neutral) or is seeking a daddy of their own, lead with that. You might just get lucky.

Pisces

It’s time to mix things up, Pisces. Expect Mars in Scorpio to spark your desire for erotic experimentation — with new-to-you sexual partners, positions, toys, you name it. If you’ve been feeling a little bored with your sex life lately, well, now you have a wellspring of horny energy to draw from. Don’t overthink it. Chase after what feels right, whether you’re perusing the apps or scouring the dancefloor at the club.

Summer has come and gone. The speedos are off (not in a fun way), the nights are long (also not in a fun way), and the temperatures are low. For those who live for beach tans and rooftop happy hours, it’s easy to slip into a seasonal funk.

With no more pool parties on the calendar, where can a gay man turn to meet like-minded people, show off their build, and not actually do any swimming?

Easy. It’s time to trade your swimsuit for soccer cleats and join a gay sports team.

An unlikely combo?

Wait, you say! If middle school bullies and 90’s sitcoms are to be believed, “gay” and “sports” are not two things that go together. It’s easy to unconsciously absorb that stereotype—which is why joining a sports team might sound like the last thing you’d enjoy.

But for decades now, queer-centric sports have been a thriving part of the LGBTQ+ community. 

Most major cities now have dozens of gay leagues, covering athletics of all kinds—everything from dodgeball to pickleball to, you know, actual sports like they show on ESPN. Leagues tend to feature weekly games structured in seasonal tournaments.

They perfectly combine the slightly scary level of investment straight people have in sports, with the unparalleled organizing power of the queer community. Which is to say, the actual games are just the beginning of what you get when you join a league. 

When I first moved to LA knowing nobody, I joined a team called the Thot Shots completely solo. (Our jersey featured an arrow pointing below the waist under the words “Food for Thot.” Cute, right?) 

Overnight, I had a social calendar packed with not only games, but with team-building brunches, extracurricular meetups, and, yes, dodgeball practice. 

Why you might love it

One thing I hear a lot from my peers is that they wish there were more gay-centric activities that didn’t revolve around drinking or sex. 

It does seem that even our “wholesome” activities—karaoke! trivia! reality TV watch parties!—tend to orbit bars and nightlife. Joining a sports league is a chance to meet new gay people during the day, in a setting that’s actually healthy for your body. 

As for sex, I’ll confess that when I first joined the Thot Shots, I was mainly looking to meet boys. (Can you blame me? Look at our shirts!) But that’s not what I found at all. 

I mean, yeah, I made out with our captain once or twice. And yes, there was plenty of dating drama, and gossip, and West Side Story-esque dramatics when players on opposing teams would get together.

But the real magic was in the team camaraderie. It’s the rare “for fun” gay activity that really promotes, above all, healthy gay friendships. A place where people are actually looking for friends, and aren’t just lying about it in their Grindr profiles.

Not to mention, it’s an activity that gives gym buffs the rare chance to use their bodies for something other than Instagram pics—although there will be plenty of those, too. 

…and why you might not

Yes, gay sports might be right for you… as long as you remember they’re still sports.  Which I mention because I went in sort of expecting the league to heal all my PE-related trauma… only to learn that I’m still kind of terrible at team sports. (Yes, the Thot Shots did horribly all year. But the next year, when I dropped out, the otherwise unchanged team went on to take the championship. It was hard not to take that personally.)

So, yeah. In the end, it wasn’t for me. So why am I still recommending the experience so heartily? 

Because I did love all the accoutrements, and the friends I made (and kept) along the way. If you think there’s any chance at all you might actually enjoy the running around and catching balls part, I know you’ll love what comes with it (Just ask the boys on the Grindr-sponsored London Stags— they’ve somehow turned tackles into community building).

How do I join?

Easy! Your first stop is OutLoud Sports, which runs queer leagues and pickup teams in nearly every major city in America. A quick search there of your favorite (or in my case, least-despised) sport will likely get you everything you need.

If that fails, it’s easy to Google around, check out your local LGBTQ+ center, or even just ask the next time you’re among gays. But do it, and do it soon—because whether you’re looking to relive your varsity glory days or just want an excuse to make friends, fall is the perfect season to get sporty. No pool required.

Grindr's second merch collection is here, built around the most important time of the year: gray Sweatpants Season. We're releasing four fall essentials with gray sweatpants as the centerpiece — because Fall is when dick prints get clear, VPL becomes king, and everyone's invited to the big stick buffet.

The collection includes our hero gray sweatpants in French cotton fleece plus cotton gingham boxers, retro striped crew socks, and cotton-spandex briefs—everything below the belt sorted for whatever you're packing, showing, or keeping under wraps.

We're also dropping "Gray Sweatpants Season," a song we created for the collection. Let us know what you think. Find it on our Spotify here.

The Collection

Gray “LOOKING?” Sweatpants'

• French cotton fleece, midweight — substantial enough to hold shape, light enough to show everything
• Relaxed fit through the thigh, straight leg, creating that specific October silhouette
• Deep pockets, functional drawstring, "LOOKING?" printed across the thigh

SHOP NOW

Cotton Gingham Boxers

• 100% cotton in classic blue check pattern
• Button fly, elastic waistband that sits low without sliding
• Generous cut for movement and that perfect waistband peek

SHOP NOW

Retro Crew Socks

• Cotton blend with black, white, and yellow striped detailing
• Mid-calf height that stays up without cutting off circulation
• Built to survive the gym bag, overnight bag, and daily wear

SHOP NOW

Classic Briefs

• In white or black; cotton-spandex blend that moves with you
• Low-rise, high-cut legs that don't ride up
• For structure under sweats or going commando-adjacent

SHOP NOW

Grindr Fall Essentials — Made to Be Taken Off. 

Available now at shop.grindr.com.

Today, Grindr for Equality and Building Healthy Online Communities (BHOC) are introducing a brief Provider Guide for DoxyPEP—a resource designed to close the knowledge gap that still surrounds this powerful STI-prevention tool.

DoxyPEP can dramatically reduce transmission, and the CDC already recommends it for gay and bi men as well as trans people, yet awareness remains low among both providers and the community. Many clinicians have not yet learned the protocols, leaving users unsure how to ask and providers unprepared to answer. The Provider Guide offers clear, evidence-based information you can share with your healthcare team to help start the conversation.

Understanding DoxyPEP

DoxyPEP (doxycycline post-exposure prophylaxis) works to prevent bacterial STIs, but it does not prevent HIV, mpox, or herpes. By taking 200mg of doxycycline within 72 hours after condomless sex, studies show you can reduce your risk of syphilis and chlamydia by 74–88%, and gonorrhea by around 55%.

How to Start the DoxyPEP Conversation

Having the conversation doesn't have to be complicated. If possible, upload the BHOC Provider Guide to your patient portal before your appointment, giving your provider time to review the clinical guidelines and research.

During your visit, lead with clarity and confidence:

"I'd like to discuss DoxyPEP as part of my comprehensive sexual health plan. I have a provider guide that outlines the current guidelines on DoxyPEP. Could we review this guide and discuss if DoxyPEP is appropriate for me?

When Providers Need More Information

Not every provider will immediately be aware of DoxyPEP, and that's okay. If your provider expresses uncertainty:

Offer the resource: "I understand this might be new information. Here's a comprehensive guide developed by public health experts. Would you be willing to review it?"

Request a follow-up: "Could we schedule a follow-up after you've had time to review the current guidelines?"

Ask for alternatives: "Could you refer me to a sexual health specialist or LGBTQ-affirming clinic that might be more familiar with current prevention guidelines?"

DoxyPEP Profile Field on Grindr

Every time you discuss DoxyPEP with a provider, remember you’re both protecting yourself and advancing healthcare for our community. This is why we've made DoxyPEP visible on Grindr profiles through our "I'm on DoxyPEP" tag. When prevention strategies are openly discussed, we normalize sexual health conversations sexual health and reduce stigma.

Accessing the Resources

The Provider Guide is now available on BHOC’s website. Save it to your phone, print it out, or email it to yourself; whatever makes it easiest to share with your provider. 

About This Partnership

Building Healthy Online Communities (BHOC) works with dating apps to support access to sexual health information and resources. Through this partnership, Grindr for Equality and BHOC are working to ensure sexual health innovations translate into real-world access and improved community health outcomes.

Information is Power

Watch our Equality Spotlight video on DoxyPEP from earlier this year for a primer on why DoxyPEP matters, and pass on the information to your friends.

¿Estás listx para que te enseñemos nuestro Álbum Privado? ¡Prepárate! Ha llegado el primer talk show en español de Grindr, creado especialmente para nuestra comunidad queer en Latinoamérica, España y EE.UU. Con David Velduque al mando, este podcast es un safe space diseñado para que los invitadxs se sientan cómodxs y puedan hablar sin filtros, creando conversaciones muuuuy top.

Iconos queer hablando de lo que nos gusta: amor, sexo, identidad y cultura. Todo al más puro estilo Grindr: bien sexy y con unlimited fun.

¿Por qué vas a querer dar tap a Álbum Privado?

Cada episodio será una auténtica date en una habitación de motel retro (😜 😜), donde se creará el ambiente perfecto para que haya intimidad y nuestrxs invitadxs puedan soltarse y hablar sin límites.

• Charlas con cero filtros: Conversaciones sin pelos en la lengua, el salseo que necesitas.
• Cultura pop: Cada episodio es un viaje por nuestra cultura queer. ¡¡¡Contenido de listas!!!
• Siempre al día: Hablamos de lo que está en tendencia, para que nunca te quedes out.
• Always con nuestra comunidad: Cada episodio irá acompañado de contenido interactivo para que nuestrxs usuarixs también nos manden su Álbum Privado.
  
  

Los invitadxs más hot: 

Entrevistaremos a los influencers que mejor representan la comunidad Grindr: internacionales, juguetones, divertidos y siempre listos para subir la temperatura.

• EP01: Christian Chávez – 25 de septiembre
• EP02: Juan Pablo Jaramillo – 2 de octubre
• EP03: Valentina – 9 de octubre
• EP04: Jose y Cami – 16 de octubre
• EP05: Federico – 23 de octubre
• EP06: SailorFag – 30 de octubre

¡Únete al show!

Álbum Privado es el nuevo espacio donde celebramos nuestras historias queer, nuestras pasiones y, sobre todo, damos visibilidad a todo tipo de identidades. Porque en Grindr, no hay restricciones, nuestra prioridad es construir un lugar donde siempre puedas ser y sentir.

Grindr is not real life. That’s why we love it: it’s a safe space where you can be your authentically horny self, and go from zero to naked in 60 seconds.

That’s why it can be jarring when a familiar face from your regular, pants-on, grocery-shopping, church-going life pops up on your grid. 

Is it an opportunity, or a trap? Does an IRL crush’s presence on Grindr give you free rein to make sexual advances, or does your prior relationship mean you have to tread carefully? 

Let’s break down the etiquette of hitting up someone on Grindr that you actually know… and it all depends on how well you know them.

A near stranger

These are your acquaintances. The guys you say hi to at parties with no follow-up questions. The cute baristas who have memorized your order but not your name. The owners of the dogs your dog plays with at the park.

The move: Go for it! This is what Grindr was made for: checking if the cute cashier giving you eyes was all in your head, or if in an hour he’s going to be giving you head. There’s basically zero risk here. If anything, you have a built-in conversation starter—”didn’t I just see you at XYZ?” (Pro tip: only do this if you’re fairly sure they noticed you too; otherwise, it veers into “I was watching you from the shadows” energy.) 

Shoot your shot, and if they’re not into it, who cares? At worst, those few annual pleasantries get a shade more awkward

A member of your non-social network

Here’s where it gets trickier. We’re talking about a co-worker you see every day. A close friend of a close friend. A gym crush, but the kind who’s actually learned your name and sits two mats over at yoga. Anyone with whom you don’t share a close social rapport, but with whom you do share enough facetime that there’s something at stake. 

I have learned the hard way that this doesn’t always go well. I once hit up a co-worker in a weak (read: drunk) moment, and received a message back telling me it was inappropriate—that, on Grindr, we should just pretend not to see each other. Which is exactly what we did at the office for months following. Eek.

Honestly, these are relationships that play out best offline, where a crush can either bloom or fizzle without digital weirdness (in the 90s, they called this “meeting someone.”). Still, if you can’t shake the curiosity and need a low-risk signal…

The move: …why not start with a humble tap? 

What’s great about a tap is that it communicates interest clearly, while still providing some plausible deniability. You didn’t say anything. There’s no gossip to relay to a group chat, or line to echo in their head every time you two go into savasana side by side.

If they tap back, great, you’re in. But if not, you can both easily pretend it never happened. Who knows—you might have pressed the button by accident!

A friend (or worse)

This is the danger zone: a friend you’ve been crushing on for years, or worse, an ex you’re still pining for. The internet makes it all too easy to act on an impulse without considering the consequences. And before you know it, you’ve said something in neon gold you never would have in person.

The move: Rely on the prior relationship. If you’ve already crossed that line—and both of you are still game—sure, go ahead. Send a “u up” through Grindr—it’s faster than digging through your contacts to figure out which one labeled “DO NOT TEXT” is the ex you want.

But if you’re confessing your attraction for the very first time… this might not be the right medium. The fact that it’s so easy also makes it feel a bit flippant, and doesn’t leave room for the nuanced response this significant shift in the tenor of your relationship might call for.  

If you really can’t help yourself, at least split the difference—be cheeky and vague, send a “funny seeing you here!” It may not be advisable, but you’re allowed to shoot your shot… as long as you remember the one rule. 

The 1 rule

With an IRL, you get one chance. One.

I once had a friend who, shortly after a breakup, started tapping me literally as often as the app allowed. Despite seeing him in group settings weekly, every 24 hours like clockwork, he’d shoot me a fire emoji. I gave him some grace for going through a tough time, but eventually I was forced to block someone online I was regularly brunching with. It permanently changed the way I viewed him, and our relationship got a little colder. 

The thing is, the first time I was flattered—as most guys would be. It only got uncomfortable when he didn’t take my no answer for an answer. To loosely quote Hillary Clinton (or was it Maya Angelou?), when someone shows you they don’t want to fuck you, believe them the first time.

So, is it weird to message your IRLs on Grindr? Only if you make it weird. Give it one go, and if it doesn’t work out, keep scrolling through your thousands of other options. That’s what hot strangers are for.