How to Describe Yourself on Dating Apps (in Your Bio and Beyond)
In the early days of online dating, new users often spent an hour or more filling out lengthy questionnaires that promised to set them up with their perfect match. Worth it if you’re on the hunt for your one and only? Maybe. But that method was overkill for anyone interested in a few hours of fun.
Then came the rise of dating apps, the kind that don’t make you feel bad for caring about a person’s looks. Because let’s be real—at the end of the day, we’re still animals. And when it comes to attraction, logic can only take us so far.
But even if you’re looking for something casual, you might still care about the personality, values, and interests of a prospective date. Hell, you might even be a demisexual—someone who doesn’t experience sexual attraction for another person until you’ve had the chance to develop a strong emotional bond.
If you want to increase your odds of finding the type of person and connection that’s right for your right now, it’s worth taking the time to learn how to describe yourself on a dating app.
The benefits of a strong bio
Whether you’re looking for the one or just a one-night stand, a good bio can help you stand out from the crowd. But there’s a common belief that people on apps like Grindr don’t even bother to look past the profile pictures you put up. And you have better things to do than spend time filling out an online dating profile that no one’s even going to read, right?
But here’s a stat that may surprise you: One poll on the Grindr subreddit revealed that 78% of respondents do read the bios of the profiles they come across. And some will immediately write you off if you leave your profile blank.
Here’s the kicker: Most dating apps don’t give you much space to work with—your About Me on Grindr is limited to 225 characters. For reference, this paragraph is precisely 225 characters. Your bio has to be short and sweet!
The most creative Grindr bio ideas typically involve emoji that focus more on what you’re looking for than who you are. And with such limited real estate, you won’t be able to say much about yourself. But don’t worry. We’ve got some tips for using a few words to get your message across.
Clever ways to describe yourself in your bio
You can approach the character limit on a dating app bio as an uphill battle or a fun challenge. Us? We’re always up for some fun.
One way to solve the puzzle is to think about what you’re looking for. Then think about how to frame it in a way that allows you to also say things about yourself. Here are a few examples:
- “The mimosas may be bottomless, but I’ve got plenty of bottom for you.” It’s fun, it’s forward, and it clues him into your preferred sex position while also hinting that you’re apt at intaking your daily vitamin C.
- “Crunchyroll and chill?” By now, using “Netflix and chill” as a conversation starter is a worn-out cliché. This anime variation communicates that you’re not looking for a long-term relationship... you're looking for someone who understands your media consumption.
- “My hottest adventure was spending five minutes with a skydiving instructor strapped to my back. What’s yours?” You’re a bottom who lives for an adrenaline rush, and you’re looking for someone who can keep up.
Get the idea? Here are a few more tips for describing yourself on a dating app:
- Use a creative headline. Think of yourself as a marketer, and the product you’re selling is you. Use a dating profile headline that describes who you are and what you want while also grabbing users’ attention.
- Avoid personal details. Once he’s earned your trust, give him all the dirty deets you want. Until then, avoid offering up info that could help him identify you off the app.
- Use adjectives honestly (and sparingly). It’s OK to call yourself a funny, bubbly, adventurous, hopeless romantic. But if someone who knows you well wouldn’t use those words to describe you, you might be setting him up for a devastating bait and switch. And don’t go overboard—a laundry list of adjectives is not cute.
“Tell me about yourself”: How to respond
Everyone gets asked the fabled “tell me a little about yourself” question at some point, whether it’s at a job interview or on a first date. But when someone hits you with it in their first few messages on a dating site, you’re in luck. It means they want to know more about you (always a win), and you have time to turn the question over in your head a few times before responding.
Still, a lot of people freeze up when forced to talk about themselves. But have no fear—your trusty guru is here to make sure you’re prepped.
Don’t tell him your life story
When a potential match says, “Tell me a little about yourself,” an example of what not to do might look like this:
“I was born in New York, but my family moved to Reno when I was two because my dad got a job offer that he just couldn’t turn down. My mom stayed at home to take care of my three brothers and me. We used to go to Florida for summer vacation, but we always fought a lot, so now I don’t like Florida. I worked at McDonald’s in high school. It was a lot of fun. Then I started community college, and …”
See the problem? He asked for a little, but you rattled off a personal statement of random facts about your life and confused him to tears. The only thing he’ll be able to pick up on? You’re wordy (and that your biggest beef with Florida is the memory of your bickering brothers, which says you definitely don’t follow the news).
Instead, show him what makes you special
So what’s a good sample answer to the “tell me something about yourself” question? Well, that depends on what you’re looking for and what you get the sense he wants. If he has no profile photos and his bio is just an eggplant emoji, we can almost guarantee he’s just there to get his dick wet.
But if he’s put a bit of thought into his profile or initiated an engaging, non-sexual conversation before asking to hear more about you, he might genuinely want to know a bit about the person he’s talking to.
Does that mean he wants to hear that you spent your junior year flipping burgers? Probably not. He wants to know if spending time with you would enhance his life in some way, big or small.
If you’re not sure how to answer, try sending a text message to a friend who knows you in real life. Ask them this: “What’s something unique about me?” It’s easy for an outsider to know that your sense of humor is a paradoxical cross between Aubrey Plaza and Trixie Mattel... but if you don't have any friends, just fold and send him a pic of your h*le!
Put your new skills to the test
Now that you have some ideas about what to do (and not do) when describing yourself on an online dating site, get the Grindr app for iOS or Android to put your skills to the test. You can even browse hands-free with Grindr Web — the same Grindr you know and love, now available on your laptop or PC with no download required.