As we saw in March and have seen repeatedly, Egypt is the single most dangerous country in the world for Grindr users, where the government engages in incomprehensible brutality against LGBTQ people. Thus we applaud Senate Foreign Relations Chair Ben Cardin’s stated intention to hold the Egyptian government accountable for its human rights record.

Although the danger to our community members in Egypt comes from many quarters, much of it is perpetrated by the police. Officers are trained at scale on how to use community spaces, including those online, to catfish; entrap; and ultimately arrest LGBTQ people, simply for being who we are and loving who we love.

We have spent nearly the past decade creating safety features and strategies to mitigate these challenges for users in Egypt and the more than 60 countries where being gay is illegal. In these parts of the world the app doesn’t tell other users a person’s exact distance, users receive a weekly safety reminder in local languages, more screenshot blocking has been put in place, and users have access to additional features like our discrete app icon and unlimited retractable messages. All of this has been developed in consultation with safety-focused technologists and LGBTQ activists working on the ground in these countries.

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We do this work and keep the app turned on in places like Egypt because we believe gay, bi, and trans people there deserve to be able to connect, and they deserve to have the best safety features we can offer while they’re doing so. 

We take our position in the global LGBTQ ecosystem extremely seriously, which is why we created Grindr for Equality over ten years ago–to promote queer safety, health, and human rights around the world. But the LGBTQ movement needs allies in order to achieve the vision of full equality, and the U.S. government should use its considerable influence, as it has before, to advance human rights in this area. We encourage U.S. officials to support Senator Cardin’s demand for “concrete, meaningful, and sustainable steps to improve the human rights conditions in [Egypt],” including to end the widespread police persecution of LGBTQ people.

As the leading social networking platform for anyone who wants to connect with the LGBTQ+ community, our app serves over 13 million monthly active users in almost every country in the world. In many of these countries, the Grindr app is the only safe way for our users to discover, share, and navigate their communities. Protecting our users’ interests and putting them in control of their personal data are top priorities for us and critical to the success of our business. 

Norway’s Privacy Appeals Board recently issued a decision regarding a legacy user consent process we used several years ago, before key regulatory developments interpreting the application of GDPR. We strongly disagree with the Board’s decision and are evaluating our options, including asking Norway’s courts to reverse the administrative agency. At the same time, we share the Norwegian Board’s commitment to privacy and want to provide an overview of how Grindr addresses this critical area.

Privacy could not be more important to our users. That’s why certain features, like giving users the choice to decide what information to include in their profile, including not requiring a profile photo, have been built into the app from day one. We’ve also built privacy and safety components directly into numerous parts of the product, such as our private albums that enable private sharing of photos between users. As we build new features, we continue to integrate privacy into every facet of the design to safeguard user information, which is what our users have come to expect. 

Since the period at issue in the decision, and under new ownership and new management, Grindr has invested heavily to adopt industry-leading privacy practices and tools to protect and empower our users by giving them more control over the data they publicly disclose.

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We have a dedicated Privacy team that works across the company to advance our commitment to privacy, and we use a leading privacy consent management platform, powered by One Trust, which enables users to decide whether and how their data can be shared with ad partners. 

Grindr has never allowed for targeted advertising by profiling our users or based on special categories of personal data such as ethnicity, political views, or sexual orientation. One of the most common pieces of feedback we hear from our users is a desire for more relevant advertising. Yet one of the reasons the advertising users see is not always relevant to them is because, contrary to standard industry practices, Grindr explicitly chooses not to share data on users’ age, gender, or location with advertisers even if the user opts in to get personalized ads.

Advertising on our platform, while a small portion of our total revenue, helps defray the costs of Grindr’s free offering, which includes many more features than the free products of our industry peers. Currently, more than 85% of Grindr’s revenue comes from purchases of subscriptions and add-on products from just 7% of our total users. 

Grindr is proud to support and connect the global LGBTQ+ community. We believe regulators should treat Grindr users the same way they treat users of other dating apps that cater largely to the straight community.

We look forward to continuing our commitment to privacy as we work to serve our users and create a world where our community is free, equal and included.

Today marks the first day back in the office for many Grindr employees, and the positive energy is palpable. As we return to working together IRL as part of our hybrid work model, I look forward to connecting with our Grindr colleagues and community in person. I strongly believe–and the research shows–that regularly working together in person will position us and our business for success, and from that success we can help change the world for the better.

We are at an inflection point where we can capitalize on Grindr's global potential and audaciously and passionately go after our mission to be the global gayborhood in your pocket. As part of that, our vision is to make the world and lives of our users freer and more just through our success as a business. 

We have a huge opportunity that’s ours to seize, and in order to do that, we need to be intentional about how we operate and continue to move the company forward.

Our drive and perseverance have always stemmed from our commitment to the LGBTQ+ community. We aim to influence positive change and leave an indelible mark, not just as a platform, but as a movement. Collaboration, innovation, and our unique Grindr synergy are essential for us to do this effectively.  It is critical for us to be better connected so we can collaborate more effectively, coach and mentor each other, and  achieve these goals as a team.  

Building our next chapter 

Over  the last 18 months, we've learned a thing or two about adapting to a post-pandemic world. While remote work brought its perks, it has also become clear that in-person collaboration is invaluable. And while a return to office might sound like a return to old times, let’s be clear: today does not mark a return to old ways, but rather an evolution into  something better. 

We’ve seen via our continued financial and business growth what works: having a very clear focus on the key initiatives that are most valuable to our users and pushing for significant productivity and stellar operational execution. This focus and taking advantage of our time together in person will take our business to the next level.

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That's the ethos behind our hybrid work model of two-days-a-week in office. It offers a balanced blend of office and remote days, designed with both productivity and flexibility in mind. Our hybrid work model isn’t an outlier. In fact, we're proud to say it offers more leeway than many of our peers’ in-office policies.  

Our decision to adopt a hybrid work model was in the works for quite some time. We did our research and charted our course. Beginning in the second quarter of this year we took the first steps toward a hybrid work model by starting to recruit engineers primarily in Chicago, one of the company’s two engineering hubs. 

As we welcome teams back to the office today, wherever that may be, our focus is clear: ensuring Grindr remains a valuable product and resource for the global LGBTQ+ community and an exceptional place to work.

Returning to work as a unified community

We're looking forward to further building our community of Grindr colleagues, spending more time together, and galvanizing our collective ambition. Together, we'll continue to set ambitious goals and deliver remarkable products that reflect the spirit of the LGBTQ+ community. 

I strongly believe that we need to be together in person on a regular basis in order to have  the most success as a business. And from that success we can help change the world for the better. This new chapter will allow us to attract talent that embraces collaboration, strengthen our identity by building strong working relationships, and establish  healthy productivity goals and mutual accountability that will make us truly unstoppable.

And we’re building an amazing team that will help us achieve these goals. For those interested in joining us, check out our open positions here.

An estimated 40,000 people took to the streets of SoMa in San Francisco this past Sunday for Folsom Street Fair’s Megahood2021. After last year’s virtual-only event, Folsom was back to in-person festivities—with added COVID safety protocols—and people were eager to make up for lost time. Wearing leather, whips, chains, pup masks, chastity belts, and everything in between (or, in many cases, nothing at all), attendees celebrated queer kink and fetish culture with creativity to spare. We captured some of the magic below—see you next year, Folsom.

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Grindr is a proud presenting sponsor of Folsom Street Fair. #GrindrxFolsom

‍A collection of real-life Grindr experiences told by users in thrilling, sometimes-NSFW detail, to remind you of pre-COVID times. Readers are encouraged to submit their own to [email protected].

SHOOT YOUR SHOT

Since quar I’ve been video chatting a lot and it usually ends up leading to me and the other dude masturbating. It sort of reminds me of Chatroulette in college, which I loved. Anyway, I was talking to this guy and we agreed to video chat and he was super sexy: skinny tight body and big DSL. We talked dirty a bit, he stripped for me and started playing with his hole (impressively pink by the way). So, I whipped my dick out and started jacking it until I was hard, and the way he was fingering his hole, I was super hard. We kept at it a bit and then he brought the phone up to his face and started moaning, “Cum on my face.” And like, that’s hot but I wasn’t real sure if he was serious?

So I was like, “Uh, yeah, hot.”

But I don’t think he liked that because he started getting intense, “Cum on my face!” like woah.

I started getting kind of soft because I can’t cum on his face? And I didn’t know what he wanted so I just said, “I can’t cum on you? What do you want?”

And he told me he wanted me to cum on my iPhone so that it felt like he was getting a facial but this was a new iPhone and I really didn’t like the idea of dealing with Apple Care in a pandemic so I hung up and came all over my chest.

TASK RABBIT

I once broke my guest bedroom lamp and had my mom staying at my place later that night. I wanted to fix the lamp ASAP bc she’d be arriving in 2 hours and she’s particular. I changed my Grindr profile to "who knows how to fix a lamp" got a reply within 30 min asking me what was broken, and had it fixed within an hour. I also got offered to verify if my *electric tension* was working as well... LOL.

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GROUND CONTROL

I was on Grindr while my flight was pre-boarding to Italy and I noticed that one of the super hot jocks in my grid looked like one of the flight hosts. I sent him a tap, but nothing came of it and I fell asleep pretty quickly. Later on in the flight he came around and asked me if I wanted anything to drink and I ordered a ginger ale, when he gave it to me his hand lingered on mine and I felt his finger stroke my palm. I was immediately hard as a rock. I didn’t have Wi-Fi though so I couldn’t check my inbox to see if he’d messaged. I kept trying to get his attention the rest of the flight but it didn’t happen—I was beginning to think I made it up.

Cut to: I got off the flight and got a text from my uncle that he was going to be an hour late so I got on Grindr and check to see if the hot host had messaged me and he had. He’d sent over pics of his uncut cock and asked if I wanted to take it. Well, obviously. I messaged him to see if he had time to kill and he said he’d be wrapped up in a few minutes and that he knew a bathroom that was always empty.

He came around about 20 minutes later and led me to a private bathroom on the first floor. He locked the door and we immediately pounced on each other like fucking ravenous animals. He picked me up and threw me against the wall and I almost screamed because he was shorter than me and I was really surprised he could lift me. After a few minutes he set me down and unbuttoned my pants and started eating my ass, I was in heaven. Then he took his dick out and tried to stick it in, but I was not prepared at all so I got on my knees and started sucking him off, he came pretty quick, all over my face, and I came on the floor right after him—it was a glorious mess. I exited the terminal right as my uncle pulled up.

RUNNING ON EMPTY

I went running through Central Park last week and took a quick break in the ramble to take a call that I’d been waiting on. After the call I noticed this daddy type staring me down. He nodded to some foliage off the path and then grabbed my dick and walked past me into the thicket. I was not sure what to do. On one hand it would make for a great story but on the other hand I had never done anything like this before. But as I was considering it I noticed that I was getting harder and harder by the second. Guess he was deciding this one for us. I walked into the brush and followed the daddy to a small clearing where he proceeded to push me up against this tree and get on his knees and suck me. He was sucking my dick like it was providing oxygen, I’ve never had anyone do it better. I didn’t exchange numbers or anything but now I wish I had because that was the best BJ of my life.

‍SEX + DATINGBLOOP

At Grindr, we believe all companies, including health insurance companies, should move to an informed consent model for all gender-affirming care. It’s the human thing to do.

We’re thrilled to announce that we’ve partnered with Level, FOLX, and Included Health to provide more holistic and inclusive healthcare options for our employees, with specific focus on gender affirmation assistance for our trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming employees. We hope we can work with other companies to help them follow suit.

Members of the LGBTQ+ community have much lower participation in the healthcare system than straight people because it’s often hard to find medical providers who are both compassionate and competent in issues they typically face. Queer people are 3x more likely to avoid care; 50% less likely to get the prescriptions they need; and 29% of trans people surveyed by the Center for American Progress reported being refused medical care because of their actual or perceived gender identity.

We wanted to make sure that our employees have best-in-class healthcare and keep them from being one of these statistics, which is why we made some changes. But first, some more about the issue.

Tackling the healthcare issue for trans, non-binary, and gender non-conforming employees

While some insurance companies say they offer gender affirmation assistance, access to that assistance often comes with so many hurdles that many people give up. Some pioneering companies created their own programs, which was a big step in the right direction. Many of those plans adopted the WPATH Standards of Care (last updated 2012), which are outlined in a 120-page document. While assuredly well-intended in their creation, the application of these standards can make it very difficult, and often harmful, for some trans employees to access care. At Grindr, we are strong supporters of the informed consent model for adults, and that is how we have set up our program.

For example, when following the WPATH standards, trans people seeking genital surgery are required to see two different and independent mental health providers. They usually have to complete multiple sessions with both providers before the providers will attest to their gender identity. No CisHet person has to go through such a process before accessing care.

In talking to employees about the process, one described it like this: “They ask you to tell them how you feel, and you tell them something like, ‘I feel I would be happier as the other gender’ and they write that down and charge you hundreds or thousands of dollars over multiple sessions before they will send that note to your doctor. Obtaining this note often requires you to conform to the provider’s idea of a 'man' or 'woman' to get them to believe you.” In this case, the patient is trying to placate their providers and ease the providers’ mind instead of the other way around. This role reversal can be actively harmful.

Being transgender, non-binary, or gender non-conforming does not affect people’s ability to make sound medical decisions. For people who are queer, there should be no more barriers to care than there are for CisHet people.

The good news is that there are providers coming into the space that want to help companies figure this out.

Our Plan

Our first step was to get our LGBTQIA+ employees and their dependents back into the healthcare system. Included Health provides, among other things, a concierge service to help employees and their dependents find providers who are both competent in their field and compassionate towards members of the queer community. People who feel confident in and comfortable with their providers are more likely to get the care they need.

Our second step was to address our employees’ reported difficulty getting hormone therapy. Most traditional insurance plans require monthly coordination between one’s doctor, pharmacist, and the insurance company to approve a prescription. Any lapse or delay in this coordination can cause a disruption to an employee’s hormone therapy, which can have a number of negative consequences. Our employees reported that these disruptions to care happened more often than not, so we partnered with FOLX to facilitate the delivery of hormone therapies without requiring monthly coordination between one’s doctor, pharmacist, and the insurance company.

We then worked to understand the broader scope of assistance people need on their gender affirmation journey. Through conversations with employees combined with research, we created a list of the assistance employees typically need. We found the types of affirming support fell into three buckets: social (e.g. vocal training, hair removal, wardrobe support), legal (e.g. changing names on government documents), and surgical.

We partnered with Level, who administers our perks, to determine how to construct and administer the gender affirmation offering. Level has been an incredibly helpful guide for us through these uncharted waters and we are so grateful for their commitment to helping us bring this offering to fruition. All three of our partners – Included Health, FOLX, and Level – were key to pulling this all together.

Grindr's program is funded to cover 90% of all of those costs. This money will be taxed as income. If an employee elects, we will "gross-up" the money to cover the taxes. The gross-up comes with a one-year retention agreement. If the employee does not opt for the gross-up, there is no retention requirement to access this assistance.

Again: we believe that all companies, including the insurance companies, should move to an informed consent model for gender-affirming care. If you’d like more information on how we created our plan, please reach out to [email protected]. The time is now to make healthcare inclusive for everyone.

-Heidi Schriefer, VP of People & Places | LinkedIn

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In 2021, Grindr, the largest social networking app for the LGBTQ community, pivoted an ongoing Java monolith refactor, and began writing microservices in Kotlin. We consider our work to be a Kotlin microservice success story! In this post, we’ll cover our reasons for moving to Kotlin and the impact that has had on our app’s performance and on our team’s development time. We’ll also talk about some tools and libraries that are integral to our architecture, including the framework and testing library that we use.

In the beginning…

This story actually begins in 2020 during the height of the pandemic. Grindr saw an unprecedented increase in DAU (daily active users). As you can imagine, people needed a way to connect and dating apps played a huge role in this. At that time, our backend system was primarily a Java monolith service, or more precisely a Java “distributed monolith” system. We had begun breaking the original monolith apart into domain centered services. These were not true microservices- they connected to multiple databases and contained way too much functionality. And with the increasing traffic, the system was not handling it well.

Java Stack and Architectural Pain Points

It’s often easier to understand the limitations of a system once you’ve moved beyond them. I think that is definitely true in this case. These may sound very familiar- they are definitely not unique to the Grindr architecture. Java 8 “Enterprise” design patterns are quite verbose. In our codebase we have plenty of pointless interfaces and their implementations. This can make it difficult or at least daunting to new developers, regardless of their Java experience. There is a lot of boilerplate code that goes into writing Java and frankly, it’s a whole lot of typing. Java’s lack of null pointer management is something that we’ve all fallen victim to, I’m sure.

Language aside, we had many architectural issues that added to the complexity and fragility of the system. Circular dependencies were quite easily introduced. A centralized service for configurations across the system was hard to manage and became even harder with the introduction of microservices. Our codebase was littered with internal wrappers for libraries that weren’t needed. We struggled with keeping dependencies up to date (especially with Java and Dropwizard). Test mocks (testing the mocks) were the bane of many developers’ existence. We often spent more time changing our tests than we had spent changing the logic that broke the tests.

Migration Timeline

As you can see from the timeline above, we introduced our first Kotlin services in 2021, but we didn’t finalize our tech stack until later in the year. Although the move to Kotlin itself was fast, the use of Spring and Spring Boot still had too much overhead on development time and we were still seeing some performance costs. We could do better.

Project Decaf is the official name of the project to move all of our backend code from Java to Kotlin (get it?! decaf(feinated)). We managed this project fairly simply with Confluence and Jira. The project’s success is due mainly to the dedication of our engineering leadership to prioritize this tech debt. Our goal is to be a 100% Kotlin shop by the end of 2023 (this year!).

Why Kotlin?

Sometimes it’s just good to code what you know! A few of our engineers at the time had previous experience with Kotlin. In early 2021, two new micro services were introduced with Kotlin as the language, Spring as the framework and Spring Boot as the service. Kotlin is a statically typed, functional programming language developed by the JetBrains team. It compiles to run on the JVM (and JS VM). The guiding principles of Kotlin are what make it such an effortless language to work in- conciseness, safety, pragmatism and interoperability. While the details of these principles are outside the scope of this post, they are worth keeping in mind as you start (or continue) your own Kotlin journey.

A deep dive into the Kotlin language is also outside the scope of the post, but It is worth mentioning some of our team’s favorite Kotlin language features!

• Kotlin provides top level functions as well as classes (you don’t have to put everything inside a class)
• There are so many great Kotlin standard library extensions to the Java standard library
• Kotlin data class “freebies”
• String templates
• Extension Functions
• Kotlin’s concise constructors negate the need for dependency injection

Our new Kotlin stack and its impacts

As mentioned previously, our v1 Kotlin services were using Spring/Spring Boot. With this infrastructure, we were still experiencing slow start up times for services, which often had a ripple effect across the system. By the fall of 2021, we were experiencing some significant outages and spending a lot of time trying to bandage the system. This is when a framework and set of tools were introduced which we regard today as our standard service stack. This stack is based on the a template created by our Chief Architect and VP of Engineering, Sam Samuel (affectionately known as SamSam). It can be found on github and consists of the following:

• Ktor HTTP Framework
• Kotest with Testcontainers (Testing)
• Hoplite (Configuration)
• PostgreSQL
• Kafka (Event bus)
• Flyway (Database migrations)
• Spring JDBC Templates / JOOQ
• Lettuce (Redis client)

We’ve experienced so many improvements with this new stack, but let’s highlight the ones with the largest impact. Less outages! Outages are no longer the rule, but the exception. We are more confident in our ability to iterate quickly without inadvertently causing an issue. We are no longer restarting services just to keep things afloat. It’s much easier to scale Kotlin Coroutines than Java threads and our service pods now use less resources. We’ve seen a definite improvement in call latency between services.

The impact of our new stack is not limited to the stack itself. We’ve also seen a huge decrease in the time it takes new developers to start contributing meaningfully to our codebase. These quotes from engineering team members speak for themselves:

• “Never having to use mockito again has brought so much joy to my life. I no longer hate writing tests.”
• “Dev time has reduced drastically! Coroutines are great, exception handling is heaps better.”
• “New developers can learn a microservice in days, and contribute extremely quickly”
• “We’re now sharing a language with the Android team which can lead to more cross over development.”

Where to start with your own Kotlin migration

Sometimes knowing where to start is the hardest part. There’s not a one size fits all solution, but at Grindr it was much easier to create new kotlin services from scratch with our new stack, rather than trying to retrofit existing services with Kotlin. However, keep in mind that Kotlin does provide 100% Java interoperability, so it’s absolutely possible to start converting parts of an existing service to Kotlin. We just didn’t feel that was the best approach for us. My advice to you is to research various migration approaches, try something out, and iterate on it! You’ll figure out what works best for you. And if you’re brand new to Kotlin, here are some great resources that we’ve found helpful for learning the language:

• Official Kotlin site (kotlinlang.org)
• Koans (https://play.kotlinlang.org/koans/overview)
• Kotlin for Java Developers (https://www.udemy.com/course/kotlin-for-java-developers/)

In conclusion…

A successful microservice migration is often an anomaly by itself, so we are really proud that we were not only able to tackle this enormous challenge, but that we were also able to transition to a preferred language team-wide and a tech stack that solves our most important issues. The biggest factors in our success have been getting buy-in from both the leadership team and engineering team, iterating quickly and often, and clearly defining the steps needed to get where we are now (Project Decaf). I hope this helps you in your own migration journey!

Today we’re excited to announce the beta launch of Grindr Web, a new way for our community to stay connected right from their computer. Now you can browse and chat from the comfort of your own laptop or on the go via your mobile browser.

Now, you might be wondering: “Uh…why do I need a web version when I already have the app?” Well, we’re glad you asked. There are a ton of benefits to using Grindr Web:

Accessibility

Sometimes you don’t have your phone handy, or maybe you can’t tell if someone looks like the guy who works at your gym who you’ve always had a crush on. Grindr Web displays larger photos to match the often larger screens of desktop and laptop computers. Web experience also shows 6 profiles across as opposed to the 3 profiles displayed on the App. Grindr Web makes it easier to chat with potential connections, letting you chat while also browsing the grid (for the multitaskers among us) all from your keyboard and including shortcuts.

Ease of Use

Many people find it easier to navigate computer browsers than apps. With Grindr Web, you can chat with a possible hookup while you answer your boss’s email on your phone. By enabling both app and web options, we let users choose the experience that’s right for them whether they're at home, at work, or needing to log onto a friend’s laptop because their phone died in the middle of setting up a date.

Discretion

For people who aren’t yet out of the closet they may feel less comfortable downloading the Grindr App and keeping it on their phone. Grindr Web creates an easy way to reach the Grindr community without having to keep an app installed. Download once, set up your subscription, and you can connect with the community from any browser to chat with folks around you. Also, for discreet users, if you get caught browsing Grindr on your laptop, just press the ESC key three times fast and Grindr Web will close and open Google. Your boss won’t even notice that you haven’t been diligently googling vacation recs for him.

Grindr Web is exclusively available to our XTRA and Unlimited subscribers. If you’d like to try, make sure to upgrade your account on the app and then visit web.grindr.com on your computer or mobile browser to log in.

Don’t stare at your phone all day. Log on to Grindr Web and see how much more fun it is to type “Hey man, what’s up?” on your laptop.
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Gay therapist Matt Dempsey is here to whip your isolation-twisted mind into shape.

As we head into the 3rd, 5th, 8th, whatever week of this pandemic, we thought it wise to take a deep breath and do a serious mental check-in. How are you taking care of yourself during isolation?

We asked our quarantine coach Matt Dempsey to share a few mental health tips with us, and boy did he ever. Watch the video to find out how self-isolation can trigger a funhouse mirror effect, and learn techniques for combating anxieties, insecurities, and vulnerabilities during this unprecedented time.

‍ADVICEBLOOP

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Our Light through Darkness

Artist and curator LaQuann Dawson talks his collab with Impulse Group NYC and the importance of Black queer art.

If “It’s always darkest before the dawn,” then last year was pitch black.

2020 certainly felt like a collaboration between the darkest forces on our planet: racism, poverty, disinformation, and disease. While the entire world was battling a pandemic, activists fought to bring another deep-seated crisis to the forefront: police brutality and racial injustice. In the thick of all of this, the nonprofit Impulse Group partnered with Creative Director LaQuann Dawson to create an initiative entitled “Our Light Through Darkness” in celebration of Black queer art and visibility.

We spoke to LaQuann about the project, his inspirations, quarantine, and how he’s finding the light in 2021.

HI! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF?

Hello! My name is LaQuann Dawson. I am a photographer, filmmaker and a director from Ohio, now living in Brooklyn, NY. I am Black, I am Mexican, I am gay as f**k. Today, I am the creative director and curator of a beautiful anthology, Our Light Through Darkness in collaboration with Impulse Group NYC.

WHERE IN THE WORLD ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?

Physically, I am currently in Oaxaca, Mexico, tucked far away from the winter and people stacked on top of each other. I have a lot of editing to do and I disenjoy being cold equally as much as I dislike wearing a lot of clothes.

WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?

I am on the beach drinking a margarita under the stars wearing the most breathable knit shorts I have ever owned and a necklace my kid sister gifted me. Mentally, I feel calm for the moment.

WHAT’S BEEN GETTING YOU THROUGH QUARANTINE?

Work and community have gotten me through this pandemic, really. At the very beginning of quarantine I couldn’t even be bothered because my head had been glued to Premiere Pro and Capture One working on documentaries, music videos, and photo edits. Time moves so quickly when I am creating. In the summer I was busy riding bikes and falling in love. Now, I am seeking peace and escape in a bigger, more difficult way. A way that is very much alone some days, but not too lonely. I’ve learned so much this past year about how and why and when I need space. Today, searching for those answers is what’s getting me through.

SO LET’S TALK OUR LIGHT THROUGH DARKNESS! CONGRATS ON THE PROJECT. TELL US A LITTLE ABOUT IT.

Thank you so much! I am so proud and excited for this project to finally be released! Impulse Group NYC reached out to me in February of 2020 to shoot a digital campaign celebrating the lives of NYC’s queer community. Impulse Group NYC is a non-profit sponsored by the AIDS Healthcare Foundation. The group was formed to engage, support, and connect gay men throughout New York City and New Jersey. Due to COVID-19, this digital campaign turned into a coffee table book with the same goal. Impulse envisioned this happening across a few days in the studio where I’d photograph members of the community to fit a number of themes. I thought this sounded great, but something was off. We were missing an opportunity to truly celebrate the community and their stories. I didn’t want to walk into this door alone and I knew of many talented artists who could make this book something really special.

I was introduced to the anthologies Brother to Brother by Essex Hemphill and In the Life by Joseph Beam when I first moved to NYC. Since then, I’ve found so many collections of work from Black and queer artists. Digestible bodies of work that I could revisit often. Colorful, vast works that were diverse in content because of the many voices included. I wanted our book to do that too. I’m not an expert on the queer experience, only my own, so I proposed Impulse Group NYC allow me to curate the book and invite the community in a much larger way. They said yes. Our Light Through Darkness is the result of that.

WHAT WAS YOUR PROCESS LIKE IN DIRECTING THIS BOOK?

Whew! The creation of this book took so much work, time, effort, vision and collaboration. I worked on everything from the initial moodboards, research and reference materials, I read so many interviews. I sought out advice from folks who have done this before, built the list of artists, sent the outreach emails, submission forms, cover design, hoodie design, the placement of every image and piece of writing in the book, the website, the introduction, making sure everyone involved got paid on time and so so so much more. So many hands went into every moving part of this book; it could not have been possible without collaboration. When I’d become overwhelmed and start to fall off, someone on the team picked up that slack and adjusted our expectations for that task. If any of us had an idea, we all figured out how to make it work or make it better. We kept each other on task. We made sure every decision was made intentionally. We changed our minds through meeting after meeting. We pushed deadlines back. The contributors, the entire Impulse team, Erika Oliver who did all of the graphic design, Courtney Creative PR who handled our press, my friends back home and my mom...the list goes on.

Directing this book has reminded me once again of the power collaboration has and what we can accomplish when we do work together and allow our ideas and our voices to be heard and lifted.

THIS PAST YEAR HAS SEEN MORE VISIBILITY AROUND THE DISPROPORTIONATE DISCRIMINATION BLACK QUEER PEOPLE FACE, ESPECIALLY BLACK TRANS WOMEN—IN WHAT WAYS DOES THIS PROJECT CONTINUE THAT MOMENTUM?

A lack of visibility has for years and years threatened to make small of my community. I continue to realize that since we do not see ourselves in every space, some of us have a difficult time believing in our existence. It is an illusion though, we are not small. This project is on attempt at building a space specifically for us to see ourselves without having to squint. I want this book to look like a mirror to the people who take up its very pages. I hope Picasso Moore, Miss Mojo, Dey Armbrister, Teacoa Rushton and the rest of the artists who inspire me see themselves represented honestly and on their terms. I hope people at home find themselves in this book too. I’ve found an awareness of self to be powerful as f**k. If we can all wield that power it is frightening what is possible for us.

HOW CAN PEOPLE SUPPORT THE PROJECT?

You all can support this book by going to ourlightthroughdarkness.com and order a copy. Post photos when you get your box, and share it with your friends. The proceeds go to Destination Tomorrow and G.L.I.T.S Inc., two NYC-based nonprofits working to provide resources and safety to Black / Brown TLGBQIA+.

KEEPING WITH THE TITLE, HOW DO YOU FIND “LIGHT” THESE DAYS?

I am following the sun wherever it wants me to go. I’ve found that sunlight specifically brings me a joy that nothing else has been able to. Working on Our Light Through Darkness during a pandemic where we couldn’t convene in the same way as before was quite healing. I had a reason to talk to my people, to leave my house and to bounce ideas off of one another. I have two amazing roommates who affirm me daily and protect me—that feels like light. Getting online each day and seeing so much love, support and energy from Black queer people in a time where we’ve been asked to slow down has brought me light. In the past year I’ve found 18 different definitions of light and I am chasing them all.

YOU ALSO WORK WITH MOBI, DIRECT AT RISK MAGAZINE, AND CO-HOST THE HIM PODCAST, HOW DO YOU FIT IT ALL IN?

With heavy eyes, a perpetual pain in my shoulder and an ambitious spirit. The groups you listed are made up of people who keep me warm, celebrated, booked and held. There are many things I want to accomplish for both my community and for myself. All of those things require work and time management. Moving to New York to be gay as f**k and make art has not been exactly easy. I’ve sacrificed many nights of sleep, many meals and some relationships. I’ve had some really rough moments that I’d like to say I’ve learned from. I know that this work is important to me and as exhausting as it can be, it brings me joy and purpose too. I’ve got to keep going so I can continue to grow, to reach people and to build a career that feels safe and full.

HAVE YOU USED GRINDR?

LOL of course! My first kiss came from Grindr. I was outed in college via a screenshot of my torso on my Grindr profile.  

WHAT’S YOUR PROFILE SAY?

My current profile says “photographer visiting - let’s work!” I came to Mexico to work in peace, solitude, curiosity and warmth just as much as I came here to relax.

WHAT’S YOUR MOST MEMORABLE GRINDR EXPERIENCE?

Toward the end of 2019, I had a conversation with a man on Grindr that turned into something very beautiful. Temporary, but beautiful still. Shamelessly, I am one of those guys on Grindr who will have a quick conversation and then disappear (aka ghost). I am someone who is big on protecting my emotional energy as well as my physical body and space. I don’t usually trust hookups or dates and sometimes I feel I might be wasting someone’s time or putting myself in danger, so I usually keep to myself. This man I was talking to had me grinning and laughing and blushing with every message. I was smiling so much into my phone that I felt like a damn 12 year old. I gave him my number: endless laughter and smiles still. I can be a pretty serious person so I love when someone can make me laugh.

Eventually I asked, “Ok so where are we going?”

We ended up at the movies (my favorite) to see Knives Out (highly recommend) and then had dinner and a drink. He was just as charming in person and so beautiful and smiling. I don’t know if at the time I realized it was a date because people don’t use the word “date” that much in my life, but it was one of the most pleasant first dates I’ve ever been on. I’ll never forget it.

WHAT ARE YOU “LOOKING” FOR?

I’m looking for safety, excitement and joy. I am looking for sunlight and laughter and places that are meant for me and my people. I am looking for freedom in every sense of the word. I want to build any of those things that cannot be found. I’m looking for people to build with.

HAVE A MESSAGE FOR GRINDR USERS?

Please be kind to one another, we are all looking for our people or person. Someone to make us smile, shout, cum, home. I know this seeking often feels so urgent and necessary. It is, but let’s allow each other grace, love and kindness in our search. Grindr has brought myself and many others some beautiful moments, but I have also witnessed violence in the name of “preference.”

I challenge us all to understand the root of our preferences, to learn who taught us what and who to like or respect. I challenge us to see what it looks like to unlearn preference, to remove hate from our bios and to be open to love.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO POST-QUARA?

The movies and the summer time. I love the summer and I love going to the movies and walking home at night. Once theaters open back up, I’m reserving a week's worth of movie tickets. I will watch literally anything.

ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE TO PLUG?

Y’all please scroll to the bottom of ourlightthroughdarkness.com and support the artists who made this book so special. In addition to buying the book, buy their prints and hoodies, hire them for projects, give them a follow and share their work. We bust our asses on this work and it deserves its day in the sun.

Thank you to Impulse for offering us this space and for allowing us to build it with you. This work is more important than you even know. Thank you Grindr for having me, I am so grateful.

“Our Light Through Darkness” is available for purchase here. All proceeds benefit Destination Tomorrow and G.L.I.T.S., Inc.

‍PROFILEBLOOP

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Watch as the Old Gays get into the holiday spirit.  

Happy Holidays!

As we’re feeling particularly festive this time of year, we wanted to show off the Old Gays as they unwrap their holiday packages (not those kind). Watch Bill, Jessay, Mick, and Robert get exactly what’s coming to them—amazing gifts and holiday cheer, duh.

🎁 EXCLUSIVE DISCOUNTS 🎁

Get 20% off and Free Shipping from MANSCAPED with code OLDGAYS: mnscpd.com/oldgays

Give the gift of a clean bottom with the 6 for $60 Holiday Fiber Bundle from Pure for Men: puremen.co/OLDGAYS

‍ENTERTAINMENTBLOOP

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HAPPY FRIGAY!

This week’s New Music Frigay playlist is brought to you by LA-based songwriter-producer-vocalist vōx (pronounced “wokes,” the Latin word for “voice”), who recently released her EP This Body. Here’s what she had to say about the project:

"I grew up in a small town with a family and community that didn't know how to express love for themselves or each other. At a young age, I latched onto religion as a way to feel purpose, something bigger than the world I was living in. Through this lens, my sexuality and nudity became warped, shameful, and taboo. What followed was years of sexual trauma and positions where I was meant to be kept small. At the very core of the vōx project is expression, freedom to love who I love, and divine power in my naked form. I’m not naked for anyone but myself. This Body is an exploration of this reclamation, a deep dive into why I’ve kept myself small, the consequences of my lineage, and how I can be worthy of the love I know I deserve."

Check out the playlist below and subscribe to our Spotify so you never miss a beat.

ENTERTAINMENTBLOOP New Music Friday    

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