5 Ways to Have Great Phone Sex
During this time of social distancing, Iāve been having a lot of phone sex. But it hasnāt been something new for me really; Iāve been having a lot of phone sex for a very long time. Not only with friends and long-distance fuck buddies, but also on The Manhole ā āļøļø: (605) 475-3353.
The Manhole is a U.S. gay male phone sex line. Iāve never been able to figure out if itās a non-profit or, if not, how it makes any money because itās completely free. You just call in, affirm that youāre an adult gay man (although presumably bi and queer people use it too), and then you can either enter a conference room or be matched with a series of guys for one-on-one chat until you find one you match with.
Iāve always been an auditory learner and a verbal lover, so once I discovered phone sex like this while I was in college, I was hooked and it became a regular part of the rotation of ways Iād get myself off. I imagine there are an infinite number of ways to go about having phone sex, but from all of my experience, Iāve created five categories for the ways that guys do it the most...
Descriptive
This is the basic phone sex package that gets depicted in popular culture. Someone starts out by asking what the other person is into, and, for the most part, the answer is the same as what they might get up to most of the time if they were having an in-person hookup: top, bottom, rimming, sucking, piss etc. Play then procedes with a narration of what the two would imagine doing if they were together in person, and how they might respond to one another.
Memories
Another way to do it is to swap stories of your favorite or most memorable hookups. Sometimes people focus on the first time they tried something new and it went really well. Other people will reveal things they wish had happened if theyād just been bolder, and will ask someone to play in a memory they think of as a missed opportunity. Whatever the story might be, if it carries intensity for the narrator, thereās a good chance the listener will be able to tap into that energy and be aroused, or at least it might remind them of a story of their own they want to respond with.
Fantasies
Similar to the memories scenario, sharing full-blown fantasies can be extremely vulnerable. But for me, in this age of the digital world, with social media being so prevalent and even all my queer apps being linked to my face pics, I find the phone sex line to have much more possibility for anonymity than even the Internet. It gives you a chance to turn off the thinking and judging parts of our brain and just run our mouths about all the stuff we think about deep in our personal sense of the eroticāto get it out and get the release of that, and then also to get some energy back from someone on the other line about it.
Role-play
Iām a person who loves roleplay on and off the phone, and Iām pretty broadly willing to engage the full range of scenarios if itās what someone wants to explore. Obviously this includes classics like doctor/patient scenes but it can also extend into some pretty unexpected and unexpectedly specific territory. Iāve always found that even when the scenario isnāt specifically appealing to me when I first hear it, itās still often really fun and arousing if the other person is getting exactly what they need to get off in a powerful way.
Dom/Sub
I always debate with myself about whether dom/sub should be classified inside roleplay, but my sense is that in the world of phone sex, dom/sub is spiritually itās own thing. Sometimes itās combined with roleplay. Like, one personās roleplay character might have power over the other personās within the scenario, for example, by being their professor or boss, but the thrust of the plot, if you will, is how they play out the use of that power. They might tell the other person to do something humiliating or make them resist orgasming just to feel the power. And, of course, for many people that can be intensely pleasurable.
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