5 Ways to Have Great Phone Sex

Looking for safe fun during self-isolation? Just pick up the 📞
J. Harrison-Quintana
Director of Grindr for Equality. He/Him
March 25, 2020
September 18, 2023
4
min. read
5 Ways to Have Great Phone Sex
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During this time of social distancing, I’ve been having a lot of phone sex. But it hasn’t been something new for me really; I’ve been having a lot of phone sex for a very long time. Not only with friends and long-distance fuck buddies, but also on The Manhole — ☎️️: (605) 475-3353.

The Manhole is a U.S. gay male phone sex line. I’ve never been able to figure out if it’s a non-profit or, if not, how it makes any money because it’s completely free. You just call in, affirm that you’re an adult gay man (although presumably bi and queer people use it too), and then you can either enter a conference room or be matched with a series of guys for one-on-one chat until you find one you match with.

I’ve always been an auditory learner and a verbal lover, so once I discovered phone sex like this while I was in college, I was hooked and it became a regular part of the rotation of ways I’d get myself off. I imagine there are an infinite number of ways to go about having phone sex, but from all of my experience, I’ve created five categories for the ways that guys do it the most...

Descriptive

This is the basic phone sex package that gets depicted in popular culture. Someone starts out by asking what the other person is into, and, for the most part, the answer is the same as what they might get up to most of the time if they were having an in-person hookup: top, bottom, rimming, sucking, piss etc. Play then procedes with a narration of what the two would imagine doing if they were together in person, and how they might respond to one another.

Memories

Another way to do it is to swap stories of your favorite or most memorable hookups. Sometimes people focus on the first time they tried something new and it went really well. Other people will reveal things they wish had happened if they’d just been bolder, and will ask someone to play in a memory they think of as a missed opportunity. Whatever the story might be, if it carries intensity for the narrator, there’s a good chance the listener will be able to tap into that energy and be aroused, or at least it might remind them of a story of their own they want to respond with.

Fantasies

Similar to the memories scenario, sharing full-blown fantasies can be extremely vulnerable. But for me, in this age of the digital world, with social media being so prevalent and even all my queer apps being linked to my face pics, I find the phone sex line to have much more possibility for anonymity than even the Internet. It gives you a chance to turn off the thinking and judging parts of our brain and just run our mouths about all the stuff we think about deep in our personal sense of the erotic—to get it out and get the release of that, and then also to get some energy back from someone on the other line about it.

Role-play

I’m a person who loves roleplay on and off the phone, and I’m pretty broadly willing to engage the full range of scenarios if it’s what someone wants to explore. Obviously this includes classics like doctor/patient scenes but it can also extend into some pretty unexpected and unexpectedly specific territory. I’ve always found that even when the scenario isn’t specifically appealing to me when I first hear it, it’s still often really fun and arousing if the other person is getting exactly what they need to get off in a powerful way.

Dom/Sub

I always debate with myself about whether dom/sub should be classified inside roleplay, but my sense is that in the world of phone sex, dom/sub is spiritually it’s own thing. Sometimes it’s combined with roleplay. Like, one person’s roleplay character might have power over the other person’s within the scenario, for example, by being their professor or boss, but the thrust of the plot, if you will, is how they play out the use of that power. They might tell the other person to do something humiliating or make them resist orgasming just to feel the power. And, of course, for many people that can be intensely pleasurable.

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“A great way to meet up and make new friends.”
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“A great way to meet up and make new friends.”
- Google Play Store review

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