Oh Baby, Why Don't You Just Meet Me in the Middle: A National Sandwich Day Threesome Guide

The secret to a perfect sandwich is balance. Too much bread, and you're just eating carbs. Too much filling, and it falls apart in your hands. The ratio has to be right. The structural integrity has to hold. Every component needs to contribute something, or you're better off eating the ingredients separately.

National Sandwich Day is November 3rd, which gives us a perfect excuse to talk about the sexual equivalent: being the middle in a threesome. The guy who's simultaneously topping and bottoming. The filling. The cream in the Oreo. The reason everyone showed up.

Most People Get the Sandwich Wrong

Walk into any deli and order a sandwich, and they'll give you two pieces of bread with something in between. It's definitional. But ask three gay men to have a threesome, and there's a decent chance nobody ends up in the middle at all. You get two separate things happening in the same room. One guy's topping someone while that person's blowing the third. Or everyone's taking turns in pairs while the odd man out watches. That's not a sandwich. That's a charcuterie board.

The actual sandwich configuration, where one person is penetrated while penetrating someone else simultaneously, is rarer than you'd think. Partly because it's harder to coordinate. Partly because it requires someone willing to do both at once. But mostly because people underestimate what the middle position actually offers.

What Makes a Good Middle

A good sandwich needs structural integrity. You can't just slap ingredients together and hope they cooperate. Same principle applies here. The middle position has specific requirements, and talking through them beforehand is essential.

You need to stay hard while bottoming, which is a skill not everyone has. You need enough body awareness to manage two different sources of stimulation without immediately finishing from the overload. You need the hip flexibility to maintain the angle for both partners. And you need the confidence to communicate what's working and what isn't, because when you're the middle, you're actually running the show.

The choo-choo train position exists for good reason. Everyone's on their knees, lined up, and the physics just work. The guy behind you can get leverage. The guy in front of you can brace himself. You're stable enough to find a rhythm. But there are other configurations worth knowing:

• Side-lying works for longer sessions and saves everyone's knees from carpet burn
• Standing middle is possible if heights align, but requires more athletic ability than it looks
• Middle-on-back with the bottom riding while the top works from above, which is visually interesting but coordinatively complex
• The key to any configuration is that the rhythm flows through the middle, with everyone checking in about comfort and pace

Assembly Instructions

When you're arranging a threesome on Grindr, the middle conversation needs to happen before anyone shows up. "Who wants to be the filling?" sounds like a throwaway joke in the group chat, but it's actually the most important logistical question.

The best middle is whoever wants it most and can handle the intensity, not whoever gets voluntold because they're vers. Sometimes that's the host. Sometimes it's the person who suggested the three-way. Sometimes it's the guy who's usually a strict top but wants to try something new in a lower-stakes situation. But it should always be a clear decision that everyone agrees on.

This is also when you establish boundaries and preferences. What's on the table, what's not, and what happens if someone needs to tap out. The worst thing you can do is leave it ambiguous and figure it out in person. That's how you end up with three people awkwardly negotiating while someone's pants are already off.

Decide beforehand. Bring the right amount of lube (more than you think). Establish a way for anyone to pause or stop if needed. And make sure everyone understands that the middle isn't the compromise position. It's the main attraction.

The Perfect Ratio

Not every threesome needs a sandwich configuration. Sometimes you want a charcuterie board. But if you're going to mark National Sandwich Day properly, commit to the structure. Find two partners who understand that the middle is where everything comes together. Build it correctly, with clear communication and mutual enthusiasm. And enjoy the fact that you've created something that's more than the sum of its parts.