When it comes to summer, the Gays™ do not mess around. For us, summer isn’t just a season—it’s a way of life. The goal? Doing everything wearing the least. Attend Pride in nothing but see-through undies and a mesh crop top? God bless. Cruising down Commercial Street rocking the tiniest cut-off jorts with the lower straps of your jockstrap visible, holding up those curvaceous booty cheeks? My hero. Sweating up a storm dancing to Mayhem in the club while sporting a whale tail underneath leather booty shorts? Iconic. Or, saying “Screw it” to clothes altogether and hitting up a gay nude beach to let your twig and berries breathe. (Please, don’t forget sunscreen on your genitals—trust me, sunburned dick is no joke.)

In this spirit, I want to encourage queers everywhere to wear one less thing: deodorant. Brat Summer was 2024. Pit Summer is 2025. Now, I know this might ruffle some feathers, and I want to clarify one thing—there’s a difference between musk and B.O. While it’s hard to describe, I don’t think the difference is subtle. It’s kind of like what Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart said about obscenity (i.e., porn) in the 60s: “I’ll know it when I see it.” (Well, in this case, smell it.)

So, I don’t think you should work out 15 times a week, lie in the hot sun, and never shower. I want that natural scent—that musk, those pheromones. I want my brain to short-circuit from a primal, evolutionary response when I catch a whiff of your pits because I’m so damn turned on. That’s different from B.O., which smells more like a pig in slop.

Of course, some men love B.O. I’ve had many guys on Grindr tell me not to shower after the gym so they can sniff my “musty crotch.” (That’s one less shower for me, so I don’t mind.) If that’s your thing, go for it—just maybe save the olfactory assault for a kink space instead of unleashing it on your fellow train passengers.

That said, here’s what I’m suggesting: shower daily or after the gym, then skip the deodorant afterward. That’s the sweet spot. It’s how you maintain your alluring, mouth-watering, natural scent without veering into body odor overload—or smelling like a forgotten cheese wheel in the back of your fridge. The former, I’d argue, is more universally sexy; the latter, more of a kink.

So, my dearest gays, queers, bi, non-binary angels, and trans smokeshows—let’s remain hygenic while skipping the deodorant, learn to love our smells and bodies, and consensually sniff some glorious, musky pits.

Pit Summer 2025, here we fucking come.

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Ah, June: the one month a year gay people get to don slutty costumes, overpay for ticketed parties, and venture out in hopes of getting laid. Yes, Pride is about much more than sex… but it’s undeniable that at a certain time of night, a lot of these “celebrations of community” start to feel more like a Horsemeat market.

Which can be fun… when you’re in demand. And devastating when you’re not.  

Perhaps you’ve experienced it: you show up to a much-hyped, rainbow-adorned event with a fresh cut, exposed arms, and high hopes. You’ve never looked better, but no one is looking your way. Cut to three hours later: all your friends are all making out in circles around you, while you’re nursing a melted tequila soda and the DJ is dragging you with their remix of “Dancing On My Own.” 

That’s when party dysmorphia sets in: the feeling that nobody wants you, you’re not good enough, or you don’t belong in this crowd. 

It may sound immature, but going out can sometimes feel like gambling with your self-esteem. So if any of this is hitting close to home, let’s make a game plan for squashing that nasty feeling this Pride.

Step 1: Reassess the situation

First things first: how do we snap you out of this depressive spiral? Find somewhere quiet—or at least close your eyes on the dance floor—and practice a little positive self-talk. 

If you’re feeling unattractive…

Remember your wins. Who is the hottest person you’ve ever slept with? The one whose name triggers a Pavlovian response to mention you two hooked up? Think about THEM. Or think about the gorgeous dude who DM-ed you out of nowhere last month. Instead of agonizing over what’s so hideous about you tonight, recall the times you’ve killed it in the past… and that you haven’t changed that much. Whatever was attractive about you then is still attractive about you now.

If you’re feeling unwelcome…

Question your narrative. To be clear: there are absolutely some queer spaces that are not as inclusive as they should be, and that’s a real issue. But it’s also true that feeling insecure at a party can be a slippery slope. Once your defenses go up, a bad mood can start to color every vague interaction. If you’re looking around at a room full of half-conscious ravers and seeing the eyes of Mean Gays judging or shunning you… remember, it’s just possible you’re projecting. As a naturally defensive person, I can’t tell you how many times I convinced myself some dude disliked me, only to learn they thought it was the other way around. Just make sure whatever you’re upset about… actually happened.

If you’re feeling rejected…

Appreciate life’s gorgeous impermanence. Let’s say there was no ambiguity: the guy(s) you were after tonight flatly turned you down. There is a life-changing quote about the gay community I turn to in these moments, from the 1970s classic novel Dancer from the Dance. Ready? 

“Over a long enough period of time, everyone goes to bed with everyone else.” 

Okay, it might not sound that profound—it’s not making it on any tea towels—but the longer you’re alive as a gay man, the more you realize there’s truth to it. As years pass, guys glow up. Twinks twas. People change, and so do tastes. The heartbreaker that’s unattainable tonight might be begging for your attention in a Pride or two. I’m not saying you should get hung up on someone who’s uninterested… but if you’re not ready to admit defeat tonight, take comfort in the long game. 

Step 2: Form a plan of attack   

Feeling better? Good. Now you have three options: 

Make your last stand: Finish your pep-talk, resolve not to take the party (or yourself) so seriously, and then walk straight up to the guy you’ve been staring at and say hello—knowing you have nothing to lose. 

Retreat to the grid: Not to be the genius suggesting gay men try Grindr… but it is sometimes unintuitive to whip out your phone when you’re already at a party. But if you’re feeling shy and lonely in a room full of a thousand other gay men, it’s likely someone else is, too. Before you bail, use the grid as a super low-stakes way to put yourself out there without suffering through the inscrutable games of eye contact and arm brushes. Just say hey or tap—and in minutes, you could be having a drink with an adorable introvert. 

Find another way to have fun: Say fuck men, and dance! Enjoy the music. Peel your bestie off their new beau and force them to talk to you. Or say hi to someone new—chat up a stranger you’d usually overlook and make a new friend. Reframe your perspective on what makes a fun night out. 

Step 3: Admit defeat?

Or… go home. 

The number one rule is: don’t force it. 

People with supreme confidence, or no sense of boundaries, might say you can turn any night around. But I firmly believe some nights you feel hot, and some nights don’t, no matter what you look like.

If your ethereal energy just isn’t giving tonight, and you can’t find another way to enjoy yourself, walk away and live to fight another Pride. 

Because in truth, any activity you can do during Pride month—except maybe taking ironic selfies with Westboro Baptist Church protestors—is readily available in most major cities 365 nights a year.  

Don’t put too much pressure on, and never forget the best nights—and the best connections—are usually the ones you don’t see coming.

Every year, like clockwork, a quiet panic sets in. As June approaches, group chats shift from memes to macros. Instagram feeds turn into fitness portfolios. And somewhere beneath the jokes about cutting carbs or "shredding for the gods," a deeper anxiety thrums. For many gay men, Pride season doesn't just mean celebration; it means reckoning. There's an unspoken message, louder than any playlist: show up hot, or don't show up at all.

What starts as motivation often mutates into obsession. Behind the pre-party pump and protein shake is something darker: an ache to be seen, and a fear that without the "right" body, we won't be. It's hard to ignore. But the real work (the useful, quiet, difficult work) is figuring out how to let it go.

Why It Hits Hard This Time of Year

Part of what makes Pride season uniquely intense is that it's time-bound. There's a deadline, and the stakes feel visible. Pool parties, rooftop raves, and group photos posted in real time create a subtle pressure to show up already polished.

It doesn't help that many of us grew up learning to connect appearance with acceptance. Even after coming out, that early conditioning lingers. In queer spaces, body ideals don't just vanish. They sometimes get sharper. The narrow waist, the V-cut, the soft-but-not-too-soft muscle tone: we know the image by heart, even if we don't all want it.

And then there's the feed. When we’re online, we see a familiar pattern: the leaner torsos, the sharpest lighting, the angles that know their angles. This isn't a fault of the Internet. It's just how we've learned to present ourselves in a culture that treats the body as a résumé.

But even within this system, there are ways to shift the pressure. You don't have to delete the app, skip the party, or pretend the anxiety isn't real. You just need better tools to live inside it and stay sane.

Using Grindr Intentionally

Set a Different Intention

Before opening the app, pause and check in with yourself. Ask: What am I hoping to get out of this today? Horny? Bored? Curious? Looking for a vibe or a validation hit? Just naming it helps.

This isn't about moralizing how you use Grindr. It's about taking a second to stay in control of the experience, so it doesn't control you. When your brain is in comparison mode, every torso starts to feel like a mirror. Reclaiming your own lens changes that.

Don't Let the Scroll Shape the Standard

Grindr shows you what's around. That doesn't mean it shows you what's real. The same few body types can start to feel like the only ones out there, but it's an illusion of repetition, not reality.

Follow people elsewhere who remind you of the full spectrum: queer bodies that are older, thicker, trans, disabled, hairy, scarred, joyful. Let that recalibrate your visual baseline. Then come back to the app with new eyes.

Use Conversation as a Redirect

It's easy to fall into visual shorthand on Grindr, especially when anxiety is high. But a small shift in how you message can nudge the whole dynamic. Compliment someone's playlist instead of their pecs. Ask what they did this weekend. Drop the mask for a second and see what happens.

You're not abandoning attraction; you're expanding it. When the conversation moves beyond the body, confidence follows.

When Confidence Slips, Here's How to Catch It

Keep a Sanity Log: Instead of tracking weight or calories, try jotting down how things feel. A quick note about how a workout affected your mood. A reminder that eating a real meal made you more fun to be around. These patterns speak louder than numbers if you give them space to show up.

Check In With Your People: Body anxiety doesn't get better in silence. Start small: Hey, does Pride season ever make you feel weird about your body? That simple text has opened more floodgates than you'd think. Especially among people who also look like they have it "figured out."

Know When Healthy Turns into Control: There's a difference between caring for your body and managing it like a threat. If the gym starts to feel like punishment, or if a missed session ruins your whole mood, it might be worth asking who you're doing it for.

Even rest days deserve respect. Even softness has value.

So, What Do We Do With All This?

There's no magic thought that makes the pressure disappear. Pride will still come. The parties will still be shirtless. The feed will still be curated.

But you can loosen the grip. You can find your way back to joy, instead of performance. You can show up on Grindr (flawed, funny, interested, awkward, hot in your own weird way) and still find connection.

This isn't about giving up. It's about opting out of panic. One small decision at a time.

Let Pride be a return to self, not a referendum on your body. You're already in the room. You don't need to earn your way in.

This Pride season, the Grindr Rides Again Tour is hitting the road across the United States and Europe, bringing our Global Gayborhood to life with a brand-new bus experience, photo stations, and more.

The heart of our U.S. tour is a lineup of incredible drag queens hosting the party at each stop. We asked them two big questions about community, celebration, and what to expect when they pull up in your city. Here’s what they had to say.

First, meet the queens:

• Crystal Edge in Washington, D.C.
• Aaliyah Jae in Ft. Lauderdale
• Scarlett Strauss in Provincetown
• Svetlana Stoli in New York City

The ‘Grindr Rides Again Tour’ is all about bringing the ‘Global Gayborhood in your pocket’ to life, especially during Pride. What does the idea of a vibrant, inclusive ‘Gayborhood’ mean to you, and how does your art/performance help create that sense of community and celebration at events like this?

Crystal Edge (D.C.): “A great and vibrant Gayborhood to me is an area of the city that feels welcoming and safe. It should be a neighborhood that feels just as safe as the gay community is. It should be a place where you can walk around being 110% yourself and not only walk around without fear but be embraced by the people around you. It offers a space for open expression, social gatherings, and access to essential resources. It's that sense of community that is so important right now, especially with the amount of vitriol pointed at the queer community today.”

Aaliyah Jae (Ft. Lauderdale): “The idea of a vibrant inclusive Gayborhood environment means to me stopping all stigmas and just living in the moment. I’m a man in women’s clothing if you can get past that and not judge me for it ; but praise me, then why judge anyone for anything else. When we come together we feel stronger in our small spaces and one thing about it and twos things for sure Grindr is gonna bring us together.”

Scarlett Strauss (P-Town): “Honey, a vibrant, inclusive Gayborhood to me is like a glitter bomb that never stops going off—in the best way possible. It’s a space where we all show up as our fiercest, weirdest, most fabulous selves, and instead of judgment, you get applause. It’s trans girls holding hands with leather daddies, drag queens voguing with baby gays, and everyone stopping to compliment each other’s eyeliner. That’s the Gayborhood. And as for me? My performance is like a walking Pride parade with better lashes. Whether I’m belting a ballad or rhinestoning history into a one-woman comedy show, I’m creating spaces where people laugh, cry, and remember they’re part of something beautiful. I’m not just serving looks—I’m serving community, darling.”

Svetlana Stoli (NYC): “A Gayborhood is a place where LGBTQ+ folks can live not only safely, but in a thriving and creative community where everyone can be themselves. It’s so vital to me because I am an immigrant who left a homophobic country because I could not safely be myself. Now a U.S. citizen and a New Yorker, I love for my performances to support my community Gayborhood - by not only showcasing my talent, but by providing a stage for other talented LGBTQ+ people. I love to collaborate and perform with special guests, and my weekly show contains a talent contest for dancers, singers, comedians, and more. It has become a lively family that welcomes everyone. The Gayborhood is FULL of talent, and I love to spread that joy!”

Looking ahead to your stop on the Grindr Rides Again Tour, what are you personally most looking forward to about connecting with fans and the community through this platform, and can you give us a little teaser of what attendees can expect from you at your stop?

Crystal Edge (D.C.): “I'm looking forward to connecting with as many people as I can! It's chances like this where we can celebrate being ourselves, celebrate being our most authentic self, talk about sexual health, and be together as a community. Attendees can look forward to a photo booth complete with a gorgeous drag queen (me), a claw machine, prizes, giveaways are more!”

Aaliyah Jae (Ft. Lauderdale): “What I’m looking forward to when connecting with the fans is hearing all their Grindr stories not just the funny negative ones but the positive ones , the ones why Grindr was made for. What the attendees can expect from me is real and raw advice when it comes to the community. Jokes. Comfortability. A bit of excited yells and of course LOVE & ACCEPTANCE.”

Scarlett Strauss (P-Town): “Oh, baby—I’m frothing at the mouth to meet my fellow freaks and fabulous ones on this tour! There’s something so electric about walking into a space where everyone knows the assignment: be loud, be proud, and be a little unhinged in the name of queer joy. I’m looking forward to the eye contact, the dance-offs, the flirtations with people way out of my league—and most importantly, the real connections that remind us why Pride exists. As for what to expect? Think: if Golden Girls had a baby with Lady Gaga, and that baby was raised on drag brunches, queer history, and unlicensed hormone therapy. I’ll be bringing live vocals, rhinestone revelations, and probably a wardrobe malfunction or two—because if something doesn’t fall off, am I really doing drag? Come ready to scream, laugh, and maybe question your gender a little. See you there, babes!”

Svetlana Stoli (NYC): “New York City is the center of the world! For Pride Day, LGBTQ+ people will be coming to NYC to celebrate together and honor the birthplace of Gay Rights! It’s not only a day to celebrate, but to honor the actions at Stonewall that brought about Pride. For this reason, I can’t wait to meet both locals and visiting tourists who have come to experience Pride in the place where it happened! I hope to meet many folks not only from other parts of the U.S., but from around the world! I can’t wait to give away some prizes, dance the day away, and help everybody get a hot new Grindr profile pic! I’ve got a new look planned and I can’t wait to show it off and take pictures with everyone! It’s gonna be a party on the bus! Let’s have some laughs!”

See You Streetside

Whether you’re there for the free merch, the photo-op, or the next great friendship, the bussy is gassed up and ready. Follow @Grindr for city-by-city details, then swing by, say hi, and let these queens remind you why the Global Gayborhood always feels like home.

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Grindr for Equality, Grindr’s social impact initiative, advances the health and rights of LGBTQ+ communities worldwide by providing resources and information to help you stay safe and healthy. Through partnerships with public health authorities, non-governmental organizations, and grassroots advocates, we aim to empower the community with the knowledge and tools they need to navigate events like WorldPride with confidence.

Why WorldPride in DC Matters

Washington’s LGBTQ+ history runs deep. The 1979 National March for Gay and Lesbian Rights, decades of AIDS-activism along the National Mall, and a dense network of community centers and nightlife have made the city a long-standing hub of queer life. Hosting WorldPride in DC honors that legacy and spotlights the work still ahead of us.

At Grindr, we remain committed to helping users connect with confidence. The resources below gather the most important safety, health, and community information in one place.

Use the Tools Already in Your Pocket

Grindr’s in-app features reduce risk when you use them intentionally. These tools can be especially valuable in large, crowded events like WorldPride, where visibility is high, boundaries may be tested, and it’s important to stay in control of your experience:

• Hide your distance. Disable “Show My Distance” so only an approximate location appears on your profile until you decide otherwise.
• Profile Hide. Remove your profile from specific users—like hostile exes, coworkers, or family—before they ever see you.
• Expiring photos and screenshot blocking. Send images that disappear after one view; screenshots are blocked on Expiring Photos and in private Albums.
• Unsend messages. Tap and hold a message, then choose “Unsend” within 24 hours to erase it from every chat member’s screen.
• One-time location share (and revoke). Share a single pin in chat and withdraw it later with “Unsend Location.”
• Report or block instantly. Notify our moderation team—available 24/7—of any profile that crosses a line.
• PIN / Face ID lock. Set a PIN and enable biometric unlock so no one can open Grindr if your phone changes hands.

For deeper guidance, open the in-app Safety Center before the festival.

Real-World Alerts and Emergency Contacts

• Immediate danger:  Dial 911 — the U.S. national emergency number for police, fire, or medical services. If you’re visiting from outside the U.S., add it to your phone now. If needed, you can also request an on-duty LGBTQ+ Liaison Officer from the Metropolitan Police Department’s LGBT Liaison Unit, trained to support LGBTQ+ individuals in crisis situations.
• Festival updates: Text “WorldPrideDC” to 888777 to receive SMS notifications about schedule changes, weather alerts, or security advisories.
• Citywide information: Sign up at alert.dc.gov for broader District alerts.
• Official health & safety page: The latest on-site protocols and changes will be posted on worldpridedc.org.

Community hotlines and walk-in support

• The DC Center for the LGBTQ+ Community — 202-682-2245
• Whitman-Walker Health — 202-745-7000

Saving at least one number before you land is a small step that can make a big difference.

Health Resources On-Site and At Home

Services available during WorldPride

Throughout the festival, DC Health—working alongside a network of local clinics—will offer rapid HIV and syphilis testing, distribute starter packs of DoxyPEP, administer first- and second-dose mpox vaccines, and host fully staffed wellness suites at both DC Black Pride and inside the WorldPride village. Everything is free and first-come, first-served, so plan to stop by early in the day if you can.

Testing after the festival or from home

If you’d rather test later or prefer the privacy of your own space, GetCheckedDC.org will mail discreet HIV and STD kits to your door or issue a walk-in Labcorp voucher—no out-of-pocket cost. You can also open Grindr’s Health tile (U.S. accounts) and order a home-testing kit without ever closing the app.

Party-Well Basics

1. Hydrate often. June humidity in DC can deplete you fast.
2. Watch your drink. Accept beverages only from bartenders or sealed containers.
3. Buddy up. Arrive together, text check-ins, and leave together when possible.
4. Consent is explicit. “Yes” means yes; anything less clear means pause.

Sibling Prides and Intersectional Events

WorldPride coincides with several community-specific gatherings that deserve space on your calendar:

• DC Latinx Pride — cultural showcases, dance nights, and health workshops.
• DC Black Pride — forums, concerts, and a long-running wellness expo.
• DC API Pride — celebrations centering Asian and Pacific Islander queer experiences.

Attending these events supports a fuller spectrum of LGBTQ+ identities and ensures Pride feels inclusive to everyone.

Grindr’s Global Pride Outreach

Beyond DC, Grindr collaborates with partners worldwide to widen access to sexual-health resources:

In many European cities, there is a button on the side drawer  inside the app connecting users to free HIV testing clinics.

In the United Kingdom, we support community-led workshops focused on harm reduction and sexual health.

Wherever you travel, the Side Drawer in the app adapts to surface local support.

Share the Information—Show Up for Each Other

Forward this guide to your group chat, remind friends to sign up for text alerts, and offer to accompany anyone new to large-scale Pride events.

Have a safe, meaningful WorldPride DC. We’ll see you out there. Let’s make sure it’s memorable for the right reasons.

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Spend five minutes scrolling through bear Instagram hashtags or dating app pics and you’ll see exactly what we mean. Instead of sultry duck faces or stoic model pouts, you get a parade of jovial, bearded faces beaming at the camera. This bear smile phenomenon is so real that social media has dubbed it “bear face,” akin to the infamous duck face of yesteryear – except this time it’s burly dudes cheesing for the camera. Not a standard “say cheese,” not a sultry model pout, the Bear Smile is a mash-up of grin, smirk, and cartoon “huh?” face.

Where the Smile Came From

Bear culture coalesced in late-1980s San Francisco. BEAR magazine launched first, in 1987, as Richard Bulger and Chris Nelson’s photocopied zine celebrating big, hairy men—an explicit break from the smooth, gym-clone ideal of the day.  Two years later the Lone Star Saloon opened (1989) and quickly became the scene’s bricks-and-mortar clubhouse, giving those readers a bar that matched the zine’s vibe.

Scholar Les K. Wright observes that bears “have embraced and manifested a paradoxical masculinity—tough on the outside, gentle, nurturing, warm, and cuddly within.”  That built-in warmth soon showed up in body language: early-’90s snapshots from the Lone Star catch burly patrons beaming wide for the camera. The now-iconic, half-smirk-half-grin didn’t spring from a single eureka moment; it evolved naturally as that inner softness leaked onto bearded faces, turning a once-intimidating boots-and-leather package into something disarming and playful—the bear smile.

Anatomy of a Trope

Look closely at a textbook bear selfie and you’ll spot three moving parts:

1. Eye crinkle. The confusion-squint.
2. Corner lift. One side of the mouth hikes higher than the other; that asymmetry queues flirtation without tipping into full earnestness.
3. Pressed-lip curve. Crucially, no teeth on display. The smile stays sealed, giving off warmth while sidestepping the big “say cheese” energy.

Stack those, and you get an expression that telegraphs friendliness while leaving room for playful chaos.

Masculinity, Soft-Centered

Part of the grin’s appeal is the tension it holds. Bears visually broadcast classic macho cues—body mass, lumberjack styling, a voice that could read bedtime stories through drywall. The smile punctures any intimidation those cues might create. Imagine a biker bar bouncer suddenly tossing you the same grin you get from a golden retriever who’s stolen your sock.

The Confidence (and Vulnerability) Behind the Grin

There’s also a layer of confidence (and a hint of vulnerability) in choosing to smile so unabashedly in a dating profile. Think about it: in a world of filtered thirst traps and carefully curated images, a genuine goofy smile stands out as real. It says the person is comfortable enough to have fun with their image, rather than hide behind brooding, “masc 4 masc” posturing. In the bear community, which prioritizes self-confidence, authenticity, and a sense of humor , a big grin is right on brand. By smiling, bears signal that they’re approachable and at ease with themselves – a subtle “I like who I am” that can be pretty attractive in its own right. At the same time, smiling for the camera can feel a bit vulnerable: you’re literally bare-ing (or bear-ing) a friendly emotion for all to see, rather than armoring up with a tough-guy stare. That willingness to be seen as joyful or playful (as opposed to strictly sexy or stoic) is endearing. It hints that behind the beard and brawn is someone who doesn’t mind letting their guard down. In queer-therapist-speak, one might even say it’s a tiny act of resistance against toxic masculinity – choosing openness over emotional walls. But in plain speak, it just looks damn nice.

A Recognizable (and Lovable) Trope

Within the bear community, the smile has practically become a part of the dress code, as essential as the beard or the flannel shirt. It’s a shared cultural touchstone, almost an inside joke that everyone’s in on. Bears see other bears doing it and feel a sense of kinship, maybe even a bit of gentle peer pressure to do it. Over time, this feedback loop cements the smile as a defining feature. It’s self-aware in the way many subcultural quirks are; the community knows it’s a “thing” and has fun with it (hence the memes and tutorials on how to perfect your bear grin). But it also sticks around because it resonates.

Yeah, it’s corny, but that’s exactly the magic. The bear smile refuses cool-kid detachment in favor of a knowing dad-joke grin. In a queer culture that can slip into curated aloofness, that little crooked, tooth-free curve is a sign for sincerity: big soft guy, zero pretense, step right up. Corniness, in this context, isn’t a flaw; it’s the strategy—an open invitation to drop your guard.

You don’t have to scour the internet to learn that trans and nonbinary people need our support more than ever, and by “our” I mean support from cis people in the LGBQ community. I know it can often feel like we can’t do anything substantial.  I know many of us feel overwhelmed and powerless right now, twiddling our thumbs while watching the news. But there are absolutely ways—both big and small—to support and uplift the trans community. 

To learn more about how cis gays/bi/queers can support the trans community, I reached out to Dean Spade, author of LOVE IN A FCKED-UP WORLD: How to Build Relationships, Hook Up, and Raise Hell Together, and transgender activist Ben Greene, creator of the Good Queer News newsletter. Here are their tips for better cis allyship. 

1. Disrupt and oppose transphobia in your immediate environment. 

“Every place we can fight against [transphobia] matters—protesting against anti-trans rallies, speakers, policies—and even just disagreeing in conversations with co-workers, friends, and family who are being influenced by anti-trans propaganda,” Spade said. Creating a culture of refusal is essential to preventing transphobia as a growing norm.

‍2. Challenge your friends when you hear transphobic jokes or comments.

“As a trusted friend, your intervention means much more than pushback coming from a stranger,” Greene said. Find a comfortable way to ask your friend to explain what they meant, or to share that you were surprised to hear they felt that way. “Sometimes people may be uncomfortable, annoyed, or unhappy with you challenging them, but remember: If you’re trying to be my ally and the stones thrown at me aren’t hitting you, you aren’t standing close enough,” Greene said. “We don’t show up because we want to be universally loved. We do it because we want to make a difference!”  

3. Defend queer and trans spaces. 

“Queer and trans bars, beaches and other spaces are facing more police harassment and vigilante violence,” Spade said. “Now is the time to think about how we can defend these spaces by making a stink about police harassment and preparing to defend ourselves and each other. Organizing and participating in queer and trans self-defense classes in your community now is important,” Spade added.

4. Lean into your strengths.

Often when folks look to “get involved” with the fight for queer rights, they tend to start from square one. The reality is, you already have skills, talents, passions, and hobbies, many of which can be put to use driving change. “Use project management skills to help a small nonprofit; use artistic skills to create art that moves people; use communication skills to testify at the state house; use cooking skills to feed folks coming home from a long rally,” Greene said. 

Sometimes, all you have is an hour. Maybe you just finished a sweaty gym session and are feeling the rush, or maybe you’re on your lunch break and are hungry for more than a quick sandwich. All that back-and-forth? Hard pass.

Right Now is Grindr’s new feature designed to get straight to the fun without endless filtering or prolonged chit-chat. We road-tested Right Now in Australia and Washington, D.C.; then we unleashed it in 15 major cities.

You loved it, so we leveled up. Today, Right Now is live everywhere Grindr is—190+ countries and territories. If you can open the app, you can tap into Right Now.

What Exactly Is ‘Right Now’?

The magic is that it gives users a new way to indicate their intention to connect "right now.”  Instead of scrolling the grid and guessing who’s down to meet ASAP, you pop into a dedicated new feed where people post exactly what they’re looking for... right now.

Each post stays live for only one hour, so you’ll see who’s currently active and available in that moment. Right Now helps find what you’re craving in real-time.

How It Works

1. Open Grindr.
2. Tap “Right Now.” You’ll see it in the main navigation, sidebar, or as a new button floating on the grid.
3. Browse or Post in the feed. You can choose to share a quick line and (if you’re feeling bold) a photo that lets others know exactly what you’re looking for. If you’re not ready to post, you can always browse the feed to see who is ready to meet. 
4. Connect with people who catch your eye—or reply to chats from others interested in you.

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Made for the Community, by the Community

Right Now didn’t just materialize out of thin air. It was born from your feedback—especially from folks who want immediate, no-nonsense meetups. Grindr users asked. So we built it. And we’re thrilled to see how it’s already making connections simpler, faster, and more immediate.

Coming Soon…

Not in one of the newly added cities? No sweat. We’re already planning the next wave of expansions, with more major cities rolling out in the coming months. So watch this space—or your Grindr app—for updates to be among the first to know when Right Now lands in your city.

Ready to Try It?

Open Grindr, tap the Right Now button and explore your city’s feed. You’ll be amazed how quickly sparks can fly when everyone’s on the same page. Whether you’ve got a short break or a free evening, Right Now offers the connections you’re craving—without the wait.

Your profile isn’t bad. It’s just… tired. It’s been through a lot. You still have that photo from 2022 where you’re blurry, backlit, and somehow wearing two jackets. Meanwhile, it’s 92° and someone’s getting railed six blocks from you because their stats are accurate and they bothered to show their face.

Now it’s summer. People are outside again. Wearing less. Messaging more. And your profile still says “new here.” You deserve better. And so do the people trying to tap you.

Start with the photos. They’re not working.

If your main pic is still a torso, we’ve got some work to do.

One summer photo. Or something even remotely summer-adjacent. That’s it. Face optional, but if you’re not gonna show it, make it work: good lighting, high quality, recent.

You don’t need to be shirtless. You don’t need to be in a harness. You just need to be clear. In focus. Maybe not twelve filters deep. A little tweaking is fine (we don’t judge), but keep it minimal. Just you.

And yes, Grindr lets you reorder your photos. Tap, hold, drag, release.

Update your tags.

You’re not still “exploring.” You explored. And good for you! You found things. Maybe you screamed. Maybe you cried. But you’re not the same. You are constantly evolving!

Go to Edit Profile → My Tags and give them a read. Cut the dead ones. Add a few that reflect who you are right now.

Need ideas?

• “Sober”? Add it.
• “Submissive”? Well yes, sir!
• “Into Voyeurism”? Welcome to Hollywood, baby.

If your tag still says “feet” and you’re rocking athletes foot from the summer heat, maybe let’s take it down in the meantime (and go get a cream, modern medicine is amazing).

Rewrite your bio. It needs work.

Bios don’t need to be clever. They need to sound like a person. Like you.

Try:

• “Visiting for a week. Horny.”
• “I’m into being ignored until someone spits in my mouth.”
• “Bad communicator. Good in bed.”

You don’t need a thesis. You just need a tone. And Grindr has a 255 character limit. That’s plenty of space. Go ahead, king. Use it.

Fix your stats. We’re ~always changing~ and that’s okay.

Height, weight, pronouns, role, relationship style—every single one of those is editable. You don’t have to explain anything, but you do have to stop pretending you’re 5’11” in Air Maxes.

And while we’re here: fill in your testing date. If your last test was during your so-called Brat summer last year, it’s time to get swabbed. And while you’re at it, considering activating Testing Reminders, checking out the Health Practices, Vaccinations, and Sexual Health FAQ tabs in the Health section of your profile.

Albums: Add them. Lock them. Share them with intention.

Private albums are there for a reason. Don’t make someone ask for photos you never planned to send. Don’t offer to “trade” if you don’t have anything worth trading. Sharing is caring, babes.

If you’re only comfortable sending nudes to people you vibe with first? Totally cool. But make sure to say that. Playing coy and disappearing gets old.

Stop writing your profile for the version of yourself you wish you were. Just be you, babe.

There is no shame in being whoever you want on Grindr. You are not “just looking for friends” if you’re jerking off before every tap. That’s hot! Be honest! No need to hide. Write your profile for the you that exists at 11:45pm on a Sunday, horny, tired, and not that interested in talking. That version is easier to connect with.

Oh, and check your punctuation. Check your emoji usage. Read it out loud to yourself.

Change one thing. Just one.

If nothing else, change one thing on your profile. One sentence. One photo. One tag. One stat.

Even if you’re not ready to be fully perceived, at least be somewhat current. You’re not in hibernation. You’re in heat. Act accordingly.

Final Word: Look alive. Summer’s watching.

You don’t need to be hotter. You’re already hot! You just need to look like you know what year it is. Grindr isn’t about looking a certain way—it’s about showing up. Showing yourself. Showing some kind of effort. The rest will come.

So clean your profile. Don’t wait until August. People want to meet you*.* And someone out there is refreshing their grid hoping you pop up.

Don’t make them settle for an outdated version of yourself.

Grindr’s back on the road. The Grindr Rides Again Tour 2025 is officially in motion, and yes, you’re on the list. It’s Pride Month, and we’re showing up with a fully loaded bus, a few too many clack fans, and enough surprises to make things interesting. Get ready for your very own pop-up Gayborhood parked in the middle of your city—free stuff flying, photo ops everywhere, and people you haven’t seen since last summer suddenly standing zero feet away.

So, what’s the tea?

The mission's simple: show up for our community. This is Grindr stepping out of the app and into real life—bringing the Gayborhood straight to your block. Every stop becomes a microcosm of queer connection, tailored to the vibes of that specific city. We’re pulling up with stuff you’ll grab, stuff you’ll post, and stuff you didn’t know you needed until it was in your hands. (And yeah, the fans are back.)

Each stop comes alive with hyperlocal flavor—queer artist installations, iconic local drag, limited-edition bumper stickers, and community energy you won’t find anywhere else. Whether it’s in the US or in Europe, we’re showing up in the heart of Gayborhoods worldwide.

Photo Booth

Come for the Gayborhood, leave with a better profile pic. Yes, our photo booth is back. With good lighting and the perfect angle baked right in, we want you to level up your profile and walk away with something frame-worthy—or at least scroll-worthy. So if you’ve been meaning to swap out that blurry gym selfie, now’s your chance.

Tour Stops & Dates

We’re not doing one city. Or one continent. This is a full-on U.S. and European takeover.

United States (East Coast, we see you):

Clear your schedule. Here’s the lineup:

• Washington D.C.: Crush Bar, Friday, June 6
• Ft. Lauderdale/Wilton Manors, FL: Wilton Manors Pride, Saturday, June 14
• Provincetown, MA: Provincetown Inn, Friday, June 20
• New York City, NY: NYC Pride, Sunday, June 29

Europe (Bonjour, Hola, Hallo):

Passport ready? Let’s go.

• London, UK: Kicking off at Mighty Hoopla, May 30–June 1
• Lisbon, Portugal: June 21
• Paris, France: June 28
• Madrid, Spain: July 5
• Barcelona, Spain: July 19
• Berlin, Germany: July 26

More Deets

• Get Interactive: Play around with new features like Right Now in real time.
• Photo Booth: Good lighting, better angles. You know what to do.
• Spin to Win: Subscriptions, AWAY bags, clack fans—it’s all up for grabs.
• The Claw Machine: U.S. stops might drop fans, lube, gift cards, or limited-edition t-shirts.

Shoutout to Our Partners

This tour’s brought to you with help from brands that actually get it.

• US Sponsors: ASTROGLIDE®, AWAY®, and PREPARATION H®.
• EU Sponsor: AWAY®

Don’t Be Shy, Follow the Journey

We’re everywhere. And we mean that.

• Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, and Grindr.com: Reels, recaps, and city-by-city eye candy.
• Twitter & YouTube Shorts: For behind-the-scenes and your favorite user-generated content
• In-App Alerts: Keep notifications on for stop-by-stop invites. You’ll want the heads-up.

See you on the road.

We’ll be out there—city to city, stop to stop—with a big bright bus that you literally could not miss even if you tried.

If you see us, come say hi. If you don’t, someone you know will.

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Grindr is all about making connections. More often than not, it works out beautifully.

But if you meet enough people over a long enough period of time, eventually you may run into the nightmare scenario: someone who seemed perfect on screen turns out to be not so perfect IRL.

Maybe they grew a scraggly beard—or 15 years older—since their last pic. (Next time, ask for a verified Taken on Grindr current photo, TM.) Or maybe they’re gorgeous, but their in-person energy is just… off.

Whatever the reason, you’re not feeling it — and that’s okay. It’s an uncomfortable situation, but it’s also something we all face at one time or another. So it’s in all our best interests to make respectful rejection a healthy, normal part of hook-up and dating culture.

So, how do you do it—how do you bail kindly? It depends on where this is all going down…

In public

You know that movie moment where the protagonist sees their love interest for the first time and time seems to slow down?

A bad first meetup is like the opposite of that: you spot someone you instantly know you’re not attracted to, only to watch them speed towards you like an oncoming train.

Luckily, if you made the decision to meet in public first—which I recommend—you have a pretty easy out. It may not be as fun an evening as you hoped, but all you have to do is be polite.

Grab your drink or coffee as planned. Talk. Be human. Once you’ve finished a round, don’t make a huge production of rejecting them—even if you’d previously implied there would be a part two to this meetup. Simply say, “Hey, it was great meeting you, but I think I’m going to head back home.” The implication should be clear, while letting everyone save face.

If they do press you for more— “I thought we were gonna hang”—that’s when you whip out the magic words we’re gonna be using a lot in this article:

“To be honest, I’m not feeling a connection.”

It’s not a fun thing to say to someone, exactly—but it is direct, clear, and impossible to argue with.

In private

In private, things get a little trickier.

A door swings open—either at your place or theirs — to reveal not a prince, but a frog. Do you still invite them into your castle? Do you dare venture into their swamp? (This metaphor came out meaner than intended.)

You could fall back on “I’m not feeling a connection”… but using those words immediately on sight can feel pretty brutal.

This one’s a judgment call. If you sense intentional deception or that their vibe goes beyond unappealing to, say, aggressive, that’s enough of a red flag that you shouldn’t worry about politeness. Just rip off the Band-Aid—“Hey, I’m sorry, I’m not feeling it”—and close the door, or walk away. Don’t give reasons, and definitely don’t accuse them of misleading you; anything beyond a firm personal statement just invites more interaction.

But if they seem nice and normal—and maybe you have enough IG mutuals to confirm they’re a functioning member of society—use an abbreviated version of the public playbook. Sacrifice a little of your evening and be kind. Offer them (or ask for) a non-alcoholic drink. Have a quick, friendly chat.

Then you can try a face-saving excuse—“I’m actually feeling tired, I’m gonna head to bed”—and if they don’t immediately take the hint, fall back on our magic words.

In flagrante

What if you actually were into it—to the point where you got into bed together—only for things to take a hard left turn?

To be clear, I don’t mean you were loving it until you suddenly and mysteriously lost interest. This is not a guide to being a Kum & Go—if they did their part, do yours.

I mean it’s real bad, and you’re genuinely uncomfortable.

Maybe they’re spitting on you without permission (as if anyone down for sexual contact must also enjoy roleplaying as a city sidewalk). Or maybe they’re speaking so softly and gesticulating so dramatically in bed you can’t shake the feeling you’re having sex with a mime. (Too specific?)

The number one rule here is: do not muddle through to be nice. Remember consent is an ongoing conversation, not a contract, and you’re allowed to change your mind at any time. If you don’t speak up, not only will you be miserable, but eventually your partner may catch on—and the late-stage realization that your hookup has been hating it the whole time is uniquely soul-crushing.

Shut things down quickly… while keeping in mind they’re in a uniquely vulnerable position. Turn to couples-therapist-approved “I” statements. If you can’t bring yourself to say “I’m not feeling a connection” at this point, instead say something like “I’m feeling off my game tonight” or “I’m in a weird headspace” and end with a simple: “Do you mind if we stop?”

Apologize, and if you really can’t help yourself, you can suggest trying again another time… even if you don’t mean it. The awkwardness of this moment will probably discourage a repeat visit anyway.

Ultimately, prevention is the best cure. You can usually avoid this kind of situation by being upfront about what you're looking for in the chat, digging into tags and profiles to make sure interests and kinks are aligned, and sharing verified photos. (Also, a good rule of thumb when deciding if you’re into someone online: assume they look more like their least attractive pic than their most, and then you can only be pleasantly surprised.)

But if a mismatch does happen, just remember nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them. So simply be kind and straightforward, and follow the golden rule: reject others how you’d want to be rejected.

Fashion’s biggest night, the Met Gala, sees untouchable celebrities parade up a blue staircase in designs touched by hundreds of hands. For better or worse, every step on the carpet is tailored to break the internet — and leave us wishing we could feel that custom, luxury fabric on our skin, too. At the top of the stairs, journalists shout for the opportunity to interview a cultural icon before they disappear into the night.

One journalist yells, “Will you protect the dolls?” at each celebrity,  with their camera ready to catch even just a one-word answer. It’s fascinating that a T-shirt, one of the most inexpensive and mass-produced clothing items in the world, is getting a shot in the spotlight next to these couture gowns — all because those words, “Protect The Dolls,” are printed onto it. Suddenly, the T-shirt I’m wearing on my couch right now feels like it could be special, too.

When Alex Consani, transgender model and cultural sensation, hears “Alex, as THE doll, do you feel protected?” she apprehensively responds, “Um, I would say so… I mean we’re here…” with a cordial, empty smile gracing her sculpted face. The truth is, in today’s America, trans women are not protected — our mere existence is threatened. All of the security guards, wealth, and fashion designers in the world can’t change the fact that trans people, as of the last 100 days, are denied access to gender-affirming care in 27 states.

Chappell Roan, the queer community’s newest cisgender princess, is also asked if she protects the dolls. She confirms enthusiastically, further highlighting the proud, vocal pro-LGBTQ+ stance our community admires her for, but her actions usually fall short of her words.

So what does it mean to “protect the dolls,” and what would be better than just wearing the words? For me, it looks like calling your lawmakers, even when it feels hopeless. It’s financially supporting trans creators, not just resharing our content. It’s making sure that when your workplace says “we support LGBTQ+ people,” trans people are actually safe and paid fairly behind the scenes. It’s exhausting having to shout for protection; I’d rather live in a world where that protection is just a given.

“Protect the dolls” is a valuable sentiment, and the fact that it’s trending in mainstream media shows how far we’ve come. But no matter how much I wish it could, wearing this T-shirt is one of the easiest ways to show support. It’s like posting a rainbow square during Pride month and calling it activism; it looks good on the surface and, sure, the thought is appreciated, but it doesn’t move the needle without action behind it. I want to see allies going beyond the T-shirt by donating, speaking up, and making real changes in their everyday lives, all of which can actually be done in five minutes or less: Try amplifying the dolls’ voices, educating yourself on the obstacles we face, or sharing a post from a trans creator. Send $5 to someone’s transition fund. Read a quick explainer on anti-trans legislation. Text your senator. Gently correct someone when they misgender someone else. These aren’t grand gestures, they’re habits. And they matter.

As I’m eating dinner in my blank white T-shirt, judging the Met Gala looks like Anna Wintour would at the top of the stairs, I think about how trans people are targeted more than any other faction of our LGBTQ+ community. While trans representation matters now more than ever, it can put us in harm’s way when it’s not done correctly. This International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia, I want some weight lifted off trans people’s shoulders. I want to hear more about homophobia and biphobia from my peers, too, and in a way that gives trans people a break for a moment. Same-sex marriage, for example, is threatened all across America right now.

Last month, surprise-guest Troye Sivan levitated from Charli XCX’s Coachella stage wearing a “Protect The Dolls” tee. The crowd went wild, unsurprisingly; his audience has a strong appetite for anything doll-related, as he staunchly supports the trans community using words and action. He makes supporting the dolls cool. Some trans people interpret his song “One Of Your Girls” as a trans anthem: The lyrics “I’ll be like one of your girls or your homies… I’ll keep it a secret, you get the key to my heart” can reflect the friction between trans women’s worthiness of love while being made to feel like an embarrassing secret. And the song’s music video showcases gender variance at its finest.

Seeing a gay man like Troye casually use his big moment as a political statement, without any performative fuss, felt like the proper use of the T-shirt. 

But that shirt can’t do the work alone, and neither can Troye, Chappell, Alex Consani, or any celebrity alone. “Protect The Dolls” has to mean more than a moment, a slogan, or a social caption. It has to look like voting in local elections. It has to sound like speaking up at dinner when your friend says something subtly harmful. It has to feel like real allyship when it’s inconvenient, unglamorous, or unacknowledged. If you're going to wear the shirt, mean it. Make sure your actions match the energy of the words you’re putting on your chest. And most of all, don’t just protect the dolls — build a world where we don’t need protecting in the first place.

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