Grindr is a wildly different app today than when we started in 2009. What began as a small hookup app for gay men has grown into an online community connecting the entire LGBTQ community: a place to chat, make friends, find dates, hook up, or… whatever! Over the years we’ve also evolved the design of the app, added a slate of new features, and become more inclusive. With all those changes over the course of 14 years, it’s no wonder that the culture of the app and how people use it have changed, too.

To help you navigate this ever-changing landscape and in honor of Singles Awareness Day, we asked Grindr employees to share advice, tips, and wisdom for how to get the most out of Grindr today. Not just practical stuff like “fill out your profile,” but also more nuanced aspects of Grindr culture that have changed over the years (things like “use peoples’ correct pronouns”). Think of it as a mini “State of The Union” for how the app and the community has evolved.

We hope this is a fun and informative guide for you, but also know there’s no definitive, one-size-fits-all rulebook on how to date in the year 2023. Take what’s useful to you and leave what isn’t. Except, of course, the rule to always be respectful. That's nonnegotiable. :)

Profiles

1. Fill out your profile

Your profile is the easiest way for you to be found on Grindr. When people scroll through the grid, they’re more likely to hit the brakes on someone with a photo. When people filter, if you don’t specify you’re a bottom under “Position,” the top of your dreams might just pass you by. The more you share about yourself on your profile, the easier it‘ll be for people to find you and know if you’re a match.

2. Say what you’re looking for, not what you’re not looking for

No one is into everything. Some of us use Grindr to hook up, some folks are looking for dates, and some people log on just to make friends. There’s room for everyone. But the most annoying thing in the world is when someone lists all the things they’re not into on their profile. Instead of saying “no couples” or “no bottoms,” simply say “looking for single tops.”

3. Don’t wear a hat in your profile photo

Yes, your hat looks really cool and we can all tell that you live in Brooklyn, but unless you plan to leave it on during sex most people will want to see what’s underneath. Bald is beautiful too—who wouldn’t let Mr. Clean talk dirty to them? Nobody likes a surprise when meeting someone new, so you might as well show them what you’re working with up front. When it comes to hats and sunglasses, less is more.

4. Use a recent photo in your profile

We do not want to see any pre-pandemic photos. I don't care how good you looked three years ago. If your profile pic is two megapixels and was taken on a Motorola razor, it’s time for a photoshoot.

5. Don’t use “Read Profile” as your profile name

No one likes required reading. If you’re going to use “Read Profile” as your literal profile name, you better be writing the most fascinating story ever told. If you’re not explaining some freaky new kink I’ve never heard of, sharing prose that brings me to tears, or making me LOL, then please don’t demand that I read your “hung only” profile poem.

6. If you’re going to link to your IG please make sure it’s not blank

I’m going to assume something strange is going on. Same goes for private profiles—don't link it if you're gonna make me follow just to get a face pic.

7. Your profile pic should be just you

I shouldn’t have to guess who I’m messaging, or cross my fingers that the person I’m talking to is the one on the right. This does not apply to couples, although it’s always nice when the half of the couple you’re talking to lets you know which side of the photo they’re on.

8. Advertise yourself honestly

If your profile says you’re looking for “friends only” and the first message you send is “hung?”...that’s a major mixed message. If what you’re looking for changes (and it often does), update your profile accordingly so people know what you’re looking for at that particular moment.

9. If you see something, say something

Our Support & Moderation teams work super hard to keep the Grid free of rancid vibes, but you might still occasionally run into bad actors (not the Razzie kind) on the app. Hate, harassment, bullying, and violence are unacceptable on Grindr — if you see someone disrespecting this rule, don’t hesitate to report them to us. You’re doing everyone a solid by helping keep Grindr safe and cozy for all.

Chat

1. “Sup” is not an appropriate greeting unless it’s past 1am

You don’t need to reinvent the wheel when it comes to greeting someone on Grindr, but it’s a good idea to give a little bit more than “sup.” In spite of its social media derision, “Hey handsome” works! “Hey, how’s it going” is totally acceptable. Reading “sup?” at 8 pm? No. You can send that to me after 1am when we’re both tipsy and have 15 minutes to decide who to hook up with before we fall asleep.

2. If you ask for more pics you better have some as well

It’s totally fair to ask to see more pictures when getting to know someone. You’re doing your due diligence to make sure they look like their profile picture and that you’re attracted to them. That’s fair. However, if you’re going to ask someone to send every single angle of their body, you better be prepared to send the same amount of (recent) pics as well.

3. Take a hint

Sometimes someone you think is super cute isn’t into you. It sucks, but it happens to every single person on earth—even the most beautiful people in the world get turned down every now and then. Take your licks with grace, know that you’re still someone else’s cup of tea,  and don’t harass people because they’re not responding to you. And definitely don’t write “not interested?” If they were interested, they’d be responding to you.

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4. Wait till you discuss sex to ask if someone is hung

Look, I know you wanna get to the point and time is of the essence, and certainly no shame to my size queens, but maybe go through a little bit of flirting before asking how hung someone is or isn’t.

5. Be respectful

Remember that there's a person behind every profile with real feelings. Being nice can go a long way.

6. Don’t ask me to use Snapchat

I wish you well but I am over 30 and will not be downloading that app. Private Albums have screenshot blocking anyway, why would I leave the app to do the same thing I can do here? And I’m sorry WHAT is kik??

7. You get what you give

Grindr is its own microcosm and it abides by the same rules that apply everywhere else in life: you get what you give. If you make an effort to initiate engaging conversations with people you'll have way more success than if you just log on and wait around.

8. Ghosting Happens

Look, sometimes people are busy and forget to respond. Other folks aren't comfortable turning people down and feel bad saying they're not interested, so they say nothing at all. Whatever the case, no response is a response, and it’s best to try to not take it personally and assume that the other person is well-intentioned but was either busy or not interested. All users should take care to be respectful of people’s time and feelings, but at the end of the day everyone has their own reasons for ghosting and it’s not a referendum on you or your worth—you’re still hot, ghosted or not.

9. Stop asking me if I’m ready

I’m an adult and I’ve just asked you to come over and have penetrative anal sex. Believe it or not, I know how to “get ready” for these experiences, and I don’t need your reminder. I know my body better than you do. You asking me if I’ve douched is a surefire way to kill the mood. Of course I’m ready, but more importantly, are YOU??

10. Use correct pronouns

It takes all of five seconds to check someone's profile to see what pronouns they use. Doing so will save you from embarrassment and will show the other person the respect that they deserve.

Features

1. Use Boost when you’re traveling

Boost is still new so I don’t think everyone realizes how great it is when you’re traveling. I went to Miami and used Boost and immediately alerted the entire city that there was a new girl in town. I’m heading to Europe this summer and I will be Boosting along the entire Mediterranean coast.

2. Use Private Albums to protect your nudes

Private Albums have screenshot blocking so that you can protect your nudes from being used without your consent. You can also stop sharing your album at any time should you decide you no longer want someone to have access to that…side of you.

3. Taps are perfectly fine

If your profile reads “No taps,” I’m going to assume you’re fussy and you don’t enjoy a good time. What did a little fire emoji ever do to you? I find sometimes a tap is all you need to break the ice.

4. Use Viewed Me to see who keeps tabs on you

Viewed Me is great for many reasons, but one particular reason I think it’s great is that you can see who regularly checks in on your profile. This has helped me find FWB’s like you wouldn’t believe, especially since I don’t mind making the first move.

5. If you’re out in public and want to see if a cute guy is gay but you’re not trying to talk to anyone, use Incognito mode

Sometimes you need to use Grindr to do a little sleuthing, and that’s okay. When I’m just trying to get down to business without chatting anyone up I turn on Incognito—you still have all your usual capabilities like chat, but you won’t appear on the grid.

Offline

1. Don’t use Grindr while having an IRL conversation

I love you and I want you to get your life, but I am not going to wait to finish my story so you can send another angle of your ass to hungjock20.

2. If you’re in an open relationship make sure your partner is comfortable with you being on Grindr while you’re hanging with them

It’s one thing to be open—it’s another thing to be sending dick pics while you’re cuddling on the couch watching “The Last of Us.”

3. If you see someone cute eating near you, don’t take a pic of them eating and send it to them on Grindr and tell them that they’re cute

Can’t believe I have to even say this one.

4. Be wary of Grindr at the gym

The gym is a sacred space for many in our community. It’s our sanctuary where we go to unwind, de-stress, and yes, even work out. If you hook up with someone who also goes to your gym, you’re going to have to see them in your sacred space for the rest of eternity. Every single day. On and on. This also goes for apartment buildings and offices. Don’t f**k where you eat.

5. Be there when you say you will

Have you ever had someone say they’ll be over in 20 minutes and you’re waiting ass up 45 minutes later staring at your pillow and wondering if it would look better in blue? Yeah…me neither. Be clear on what your ETA is and update your hookup if something changes.

6. Treat your hookup like a guest

If you invite someone to your home you should treat them like any other guest: ask if they would like a glass of water, make some small talk about the weather (snow again!), and offer them a nice, fresh towel to clean up with afterwards. You never know when a hookup will become a FWB or even a partner so treat them as such.

Yes, these chats have everything: longing, unrequited love, passion, and a little bit of laughter. Dig in below and have a wonderful Valentine’s Day (no matter what your current relationship status is).                              

‍Lovesick

Great to see the community prioritize their health.

‍The Last of Ussy

Seeking a boyfriend for the end of the world.

‍Chivalry Found Alive

I'll pack the wine and crackers.

‍Communication is Key

Valentine’s Day Grindr Chats

Every great relationship begins with an open conversation.

‍Morning Cup of What?

Sometimes metaphor speaks louder than dick pics.

‍Get Your Priorities Straight

The first boyfriend requirement is that they’re BeyHive.

‍Fools Rush In

A bouquet of poppers? You shouldn’t have.

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Last year we introduced Boost, an iconic new way for users to put themselves near the top of the grid for an hour in the spotlight, and the results have been pretty great. Users are getting up to 5x more chats and 8x more views when they Boost. That’s a lot of attention. That’s like Jenna Maroney levels of attention.

But, since it’s a new feature, we still have plenty of users who aren’t yet aware that Boost even exists. This posed a unique challenge for the Marketing team: how do we show users who haven’t tried Boost what the experience feels like? That’s where the Try Boost video campaign comes in.

In Try Boost, we feature an all-queer cast in everyday heteronormative settings. They’re bored at office parties, invisible to their work crushes, stuck at home with clueless bro roommates, and alone eating a sad dinner. That is, until a magical button that says “Boost Me” appears. In pressing the button, their worlds transform into a queer utopia.

Boost perfectly encapsulates what makes Grindr so special—the ability to leave the straight world and go into your own queer corner. And that’s what we wanted to show with these spots, the experience of heightened connection when you need it the most. We want our users to feel seen anywhere they go. With Boost, never has it been this fast and easy to get eyes on you and your profile.

Check out the Try Boost spots below and give Boost a go next time you need a lil’ queer utopia.

Helping Hand

Naked Sushi

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Birthday Rave

Roommates

February 7th marks the 20th anniversary of Safer Internet Day, a day dedicated to promoting a safer and more secure online experience for all. As the world's largest LGBTQ social networking app, Grindr is dedicated to creating a safe and welcoming space for the entire community–one that’s also kinda sexy too.  

My name is Juliet Shen, and I’m the Director of Product for Trust & Safety at Grindr. I joined the team last year after working in the online safety space at Snapchat and Tinder, and I am so excited to be here. Since I’m new to Grindr, I wanted to take a moment to talk about the priorities we’re focused on for this year and re-introduce the teams who work year-round to make the app safer and share some of their incredible efforts.

For 2023, across the company, our trust and safety work is focused on three areas:

1. Invest in our proactive efforts to better detect harassment, bigotry, fake spam profiles, and minors who aren’t allowed on the app
2. Improve our current safety tools and resources such as reporting, blocking, muting, safety tips, community guidelines, and other educational guides
3. Support broader LGBTQ rights and equality to serve our community

We’re prioritizing these areas because both the real and online worlds are evolving. New technologies, such as generative AI, create new opportunities for online abuse. At the same time, different countries are issuing new rules around privacy and how apps and sites like ours manage data, which we talked about recently for Data Privacy Day. We know people place a lot of trust in us to protect them and their data, and our plan for 2023 is built on that foundation.

I’m so excited to work with my team and others on these priorities. Let me tell you a little about the groups I’m working with:

Trust & Safety

First, I want to highlight Grindr’s Trust & Safety team. Our mission is to help build a platform in which LGBTQ people from around the world feel safe to share their most authentic selves and establish meaningful connections. We serve the Grindr community, ensuring that the app’s best safety ideas are actualized and brought into reality. Our efforts also go beyond the app, as we work on constantly raising our content moderation standards in an effort to eliminate biases and set equitable policies (hello, nipples!) for all.

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Sometimes our work includes recognizing when something we thought would help is used in ways that do more harm than good. For example, when we noticed that our custom gender profile fields—meant to help trans people more accurately express themselves—were being used to make transphobic comments, we changed our strategy and built a global list of gender and pronoun options. We felt strongly that this work and research could help others be more inclusive, so we open-sourced the list for anyone to use.

Grindr For Equality

Next, we have our Grindr for Equality team, who work on a number of initiatives within the company. They act as a bridge between the Trust & Safety team and the community of LGBTQ activists whom we work with to get input on what’s actually happening to LGBTQ people all over the world, feeding that information back into our internal processes.

We are particularly appreciative of Afsaneh Rigot, who has led a project on LGBTQ digital safety in the Middle East-North Africa region from her post at the freedom of expression-focused organization, Article 19 in London. Together, she and Grindr for Equality have engaged a web of activists from technologists to local on-the-ground LGBTQ advocates, who have all come together in a coalition to advise dating apps and sites like ours on safety features that serve our global user base with their profoundly varied needs.

Our coalition work has helped us drill down into what our community needs in the parts of the world where being LGBTQ puts them most at risk. That has meant things like increasing screenshot blocking in those territories, allowing unlimited messages to be unsent, and blocking users’ exact relative distance from one another.

If you’re looking for more information on how to stay safe on Grindr, check out our Safety Tips, get informed about consent and sexual health, stay aware of scams with our Scam Awareness Guide, watch our Play Safe campaign to learn about the safety features in the app, and be sure to review our Holistic Security Guide for best practices on staying safe on and off the app. Finally, if you see something that doesn’t belong on our platform, report it to us so our 24/7 team can help. While our teams work to make our app and the internet safer every day, we are always learning and listening to people who choose Grindr so we can be better.

Grindr is a fun and sexy place, and we want to make sure it’s a safe one, too. Together, we can shape a better internet. Happy #SaferInternetDay!

Grindr for Equality is our company's social justice program, aimed at advancing LGBTQ safety, health, and human rights around the world. We serve a variety of functions – from helping to build features in the app that protect Grindr users in dangerous environments, to collaborating with global public health agencies to get the word out on emerging sexual health issues like Monkeypox – it’s all in a day’s grind.

The four key laws‍

Through years of working with LGBTQ activists and organizers, we’ve developed a way of thinking about the future that we believe can be a north star for helping us create a safer, more inclusive world for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities. We’ve distilled that thinking into the four key laws we must enact in every country to ensure equitability for all:

Decriminalization

Decriminalization means getting rid of the laws that make it illegal for us to be who we are and love who we love. Currently, sex between men is illegal in about seventy countries, sex between women in about forty countries, and “crossdressing” is illegal in about fourteen. Removing these laws is fundamental to recognizing the basic humanity of all people.

Legal Gender Recognition

Trans people deserve the right to be recognized by their governments as the gender they truly are. In many countries, this is administered at the national level with documents like national ID cards and passports. In the US, it’s a bit more complicated because various IDs are handled at the federal and state governments, each of which may have different requirements. Nevertheless, it is a key goal of our movement to ensure that trans people have access to legal gender recognition in all facets of their life and without unnecessary barriers – like requirements that individuals go through surgeries that may be unaffordable or unwanted.

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Non-Discrimination or Anti-Discrimination

These laws make it illegal to discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity, and they create pathways for legal recourse when discrimination does take place. They can cover a range of circumstances in which discrimination might take place, from employment to education, housing, and something called “public accommodations,” which refers to generally accessible places such as stores, restaurants, hotels, and transportation.  

Relationship Recognition

“Relationship recognition” is often more specifically referred to as marriage equality, but it can include other forms of recognition like domestic partnerships. So far, we’ve achieved full equality in terms of relationship recognition in only thirty-three countries worldwide.

Beyond

We have another job to do too – in many countries, our LGBTQ movements are forced to fight back against newly proposed laws that would harm us, rather than guaranteeing our rights. In the U.S., we are currently experiencing a backward trend of laws banning drag and criminalizing care for transgender youth, a phenomenon that is part of a larger attack on the LGBTQ community to label us as “dangerous.”

And, of course, the work doesn’t stop with fighting back bad laws or trying to establish these four legal pillars. But, these efforts are key to focusing our efforts as we continue to fight for equality and use our platform to facilitate joy, connection, and liberation for all of those in our community.

I originally joined Grindr in June 2018, and was honored to work on privacy, compliance, and data security policy for an app that plays such an important role in our community. Another opportunity took me away for a few years, but I am thrilled to be back home at Grindr.

One of the reasons I’m most excited to be back is because Grindr’s data privacy philosophy is so well aligned with my own. With that in mind, I’d like to share some core privacy beliefs that permeate the work we do to keep our community Grind’n.

‍Your Data, Your Experience

We all know data influences each of us on a daily basis – and at Grindr we never lose sight of the fact that we are stewards of your data. It is still your data. You allow us to use it so that we can provide an optimal experience when using the app. Do you like personalized ads? Great, you can have them by adjusting your consent settings in our consent preference center which is always accessible from within the in-app settings menu. Maybe you don’t want customized ads, but you do want other users to know your interests so that your chats are a little more than “Hey, handsome.” Perfect, then including tags or indicating what you’re into are the perfect features for you. Perhaps you prefer a little discretion so you’re a fan of our private album feature. Whatever you’re into, whatever you’re comfortable with, whatever you choose, we respect the fact that it’s your data that powers your Grindr experience. Learn more about customizing your Grindr profile here.

‍Transparency is Mother‍

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Understanding how we use your data to provide you with just the right Grindr experience is of paramount importance to us. That’s why for years we have provided you with the full privacy policy prior to creating an account with Grindr. We know it may not be the sexiest read, but we are proud to empower you with the details behind how data powers your experience. We recently updated our Privacy Policy to further illuminate important points about the data that we collect, how long we retain it, and how you can utilize our in-app “download my data” tool to get a copy of the data associated with your account.

‍You’re in Control

You are the curator of your Grindr experience. We here at Grindr want you to make the connections you find most meaningful, and that all starts with not only giving you the ability to control the data you provide, but also allowing you to change your mind. You can control whether other users see you in Explore searches, whether you show your relative distance to others, or if you show up in Viewed Me lists. All of this is controlled by you with easy-to-access in-app settings. Whether you join Grindr to find short-term or long-term connections, we believe that you can direct and define your own Grindr experience by utilizing these in-app privacy controls.

We have a lot in store for you throughout 2023, and I’m so honored and excited to continue the good work we do at Grindr to protect and safeguard your data and to provide you with the best Grindr experience possible. Be on the lookout for more from Grindr, but on this eve of DPD, I just want to say thank you, and it’s good to be home.                  

We’re here at [email protected] for any questions you may have.

As a festive Mariah Carey declared atop a Peloton the minute the thermostat went below 50 degrees, the holidays are officially upon us. A time where dark nights are illuminated by Christmas lights, our homes are decorated with wreaths and tinsel, and the coziness of cuffing season proves gays can commit, at least until warmer weather returns.

By now you’ve already seen holiday shopping guides for “28 Best Xmas Sheets To Give Your Partner” or “16 Candles to Gift Friends,” but have you seen '10 Gifts That Would Make Santa Blush"?

Here are the best sex toys and products that’ll help get you on the naughty list.

Du Douche                                            

Let’s be real: all douche bulbs are the same. Some are big, some are small, some are black, some are gray, and some are misplaced when you need them most. The Du is different in that it’s a “thoughtfully redesigned” douche bulb with features that every bottom worth their weight in douche water will appreciate, like a soft and pliable tip so you don’t accidentally stab your hole (been there), a wide mouth for a quick fill (oh, honey!), and an air/water valve to prevent back-flow so you don’t have to remove and reinsert between refills. Finally: a douche designed by bottoms, for bottoms.

Hot Lava Masque by Studioready                                            

If you’re a little bougie when it comes to your booty (and why shouldn’t you be?), you’re going to love the Hot Lava Masque by Studioready. This astringent masque uses glamorous ingredients like white willow bark and finely milled volcanic rock (seriously) to brighten your bum’s skin and minimize blemishes. It’s essentially a 30-minute butt facial, but also like, such a cute way to bond with a partner. One gets their butt rubbed, the other gets to play with a butt. Or you each do both. Throw on some Netflix and a bottle of wine and that’s date night.

Everywhere Balm by Goodparts                                    

Sometimes your butt is a little sore after a good romp. It’s not excruciating, but feels like the dull rawness of an overworked muscle. Well, there’s a balm for that.  Made with high quality ingredients like jojoba oil, papaya seed extract and CBD, Everywhere Balm works to soothe muscles, release tension, calm inflammation and moisturize where it’s applied. As the name suggests, the balm is not only limited to your hole, but this is a Grindr gift guide, after all, and we know where it’s most useful.

Überlube                                            

The reality is that most lubes get sticky after a while and it can feel a little…gross. Due to its high quality and long-lasting silicone formula blended with vitamin E, Uberlube never gets to that point and actually moisturizes the skin. It’s so luxurious that it even comes in a glass bottle (ou la la). The brand insists their product isn’t just for sex, and recommends athletes use it to avoid chafing, as haircare to avoid frizz, and as a sensual massage oil. I kid you not, a man I was having sex with once pointed out how great the brand was and complimented me on my selection. We love a man with taste.

‍Disposable Wash by Future Method                                        

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Tap water, arguably the most common and convenient solution for douching, isn’t ideal because it flushes both the good and bad bacteria out, disrupting the area’s microbiome, which can lead to a host of intestinal issues. Future Method, a wellness booty brand co-founded by anal surgeon Dr. Evan Goldstein, has released a PH-balanced isotonic solution created specifically for douching, which moisturizes your rectum while it cleans and keeps your microbiome perfectly balanced. The washes come in packs of two, six and twelve and are also available as quick dissolve powder packs.

Training Kit and Education Set by bVibe                                            

Bottoming is no easy feat, and too many people have had uncomfortable and painful experiences as a result of inexperience or an overly aggressive top. Something everyone should do whether you’re a beginner, or a little out of practice, is train your anus like you do other muscles in your body. bVibe just so happens to have a kit designed for this exact purpose, complete with a small butt plug, a medium-sized vibrating butt plug, a large weighted butt plug and other useful accessories. The kit is not only ideal for training, but also allows you to explore different sensations. Anybody, no matter your experience level, would benefit from this set.

Intimacy Melts with CBD by Foria                                            

If you find bottoming uncomfortable, CBD melts could be an effective solution for you. These rocket-shaped casts of CBD and cocoa butter are designed to enhance penetration, ease discomfort and increase relaxation, making for a more pleasurable sexual experience. These should be used roughly 30 minutes prior to intercourse so they have time to melt and absorb. They can also be inserted after sex to soothe soreness or muscle fatigue. Each package contains four suppositories, each delivering 50 mg of organic CBD. Speaking personally, these things work and after they’ve absorbed your butt will have the munchies and be hungrier than ever.  

Manta by Fun Factory                                            

If there is one toy I will defend to the end, it is the Manta. This odd-looking toy is one of the more versatile sex toys on the market, excellent for both solo and partnered play. When worn at the base, the Manta turns your penis into a vibrator, and is fantastic for edging when placed just under the head (highly recommend). It’s even handy when giving a blowjob, as it simulates the sensations of deepthroating courtesy of its intense vibrations. If you’re sick of strokers and looking for something different, you will not be disappointed with the Manta. It will change the way you masturbate.

‍The Skwert Douche Adaptor Kit by Bone Yard                                            

Sometimes douche bulbs or showers aren’t easy to come by. Water bottles, on the other hand, often are. That’s what makes this douche adaptor kit so brilliant. I’ve personally found it great for camping and, another bonus: it won’t raise suspicion at the airport. While this product is probably considered less luxe than the others, it had to be included on the list for its convenience and simplicity—think of it more as a stocking stuffer.  

LOKI Wave by LELO                                            

There is no prostate massager quite like the LOKI Wave, which pairs its powerful, dual-motor vibration with a unique “come hither” motion, where one tip stimulates the prostate from the inside, and the other from the outside. It’s a fantastic toy to play with on your own, but I also recommend wearing the LOKI Wave while topping. The toy naturally comes in contact with your prostate as you thrust and the resulting sensation is so intense your knees will buckle. So prepare for impact when you climax, this is a warning.

Customer feedback is vital to our decision-making process at Grindr. On a regular basis, we pull qualitative and quantitative data from customer feedback, content moderation reports, UserVoice, app reviews, social media, and more, to inform what we do as a company.

We want to share with you what we are hearing, and what we’re doing as a result.  

Image Moderation

This quarter, our customer support team fielded some questions about how we moderate profile images. Specifically, we’re hearing from some people who believe there is a discrepancy between when profile images are approved vs. rejected, and are questioning what process we use to approve photos.  

We’ve designed our image moderation system to be as fair and unbiased as possible, while still being efficient enough to approve images quickly. We’re always working to make our process better, more fair and faster, but here’s how we do it right now:

1. When you first upload a profile image, we run it through a Machine Learning system which checks for Community Guidelines violations, such as nudity. (You can read about our other Machine Learning system for text here.)
2. Images that are found to be within our guidelines are approved
3. Any image that is borderline, or probably violates our Community Guidelines, is sent for human review
4. We do not auto-reject borderline photos – every borderline photo gets reviewed by a real person
5. Our team then manually approves or rejects the borderline image
6. When we reject an image, we’ll tell you why
7. If an image is approved that shouldn’t have been, please report that image, and our human review team will take a look
8. Similarly, if you would like to appeal an image rejection, contact our support team

It would be cheaper and more efficient for us to auto-reject photos based on the Machine Learning labeling, in addition to auto-approving, but we don’t do that. We know that it can feel personal when an image is rejected. We want to be as sure as we can that we’re making fair decisions when we don’t allow a photo to be posted.

Specifically, we want to moderate nudity fairly. As an app, we must follow Apple and Google’s guidelines for nudity, yet we still want Grindr to be the expressive, sex-positive place that our community enjoys. We also have many members who are trans and non-binary, and although we have to follow the app stores' guidelines on female nipples, we do not want to reject images based on perceived gender. For this reason, we send potentially nude photos to the human team who review images alongside our user’s self-reported gender when available.

We also must be careful to not allow any images that are pornographic (again: app store rules). The definition of pornography is a difficult one, and you may not agree with where we draw the line, but in general we try to be as permissive as possible while still being allowed on the app stores—after all, we want to ensure that the app remains available to be used. (You can read more here.)

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Finally, we’ve specifically trained our team to look out for personal bias when moderating photos. We address potential bias with race and ethnicity, gender, body hair, body shape or size, age, and more. It’s important to us that our community feels able to express themselves freely and joyfully, and our photo moderation system is designed to support that.

Ban appeals and privacy

Data privacy, access, and control is something that people are becoming more and more concerned about. We think this is a great thing! Grindr has a privacy-by-design philosophy.

We sometimes hear the complaint from a banned user, “I got no explanation for my ban.” However, it’s important to protect the privacy of users who may have reported an issue. We can’t say “you were reported for [X] reason” because that could potentially help the banned user identify who reported them and put the reporting user at risk of retaliation.

This makes some people think we’re “banning for no reason,” but the truth is we can’t share the reason without putting someone else at risk – so we prioritize safety in this particular case over transparency. We’re okay with that tradeoff. (You can read more about why “banning for no reason” makes no business sense in this blog post I wrote last year).

We can never reveal details about someone else’s profile or reports. We’ve written more information about how we investigate and enforce our Community Guidelines here, along with information on our industry-leading ban appeal process.

We’re excited to announce the launch of Play Safe, a new video series educating users and the broader public about Grindr’s safety policies and practices.

Grindr has a world-class moderation and customer experience team that has made significant investments in user safety on the platform over the past few years. Play Safe is designed to raise awareness of Grindr’s many safety features, and to introduce the Customer Experience team to our users and with people around the world.

The campaign is comprised of quick, fun videos featuring real life members of Grindr’s Customer Experience team alongside RuPaul’s Drag Race icon Kandy Muse, who plays a new hire at Grindr helping to debunk Customer Experience misconceptions, spotlight the work of the Customer Experience team, and make safety issues more approachable and engaging for users.  

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The following safety features are included in the first installment of Play Safe:

• The ability to mute, block, and report bad actors on the app in order to have a safer, better experience. Reports are reviewed 24/7 by a team of human moderators who have been trained on LGBTQ-specific cultural sensitivities and gender-inclusive content moderation.
• Features that allow users to verify each other before meeting up to avoid catfishing, such as audio chatting and video chatting.
• Grindr’s moderation team, which operates with more than 99% accuracy and conducts frequent internal audits to ensure that moderation decisions are as fair and accurate as possible.

Grindr works day-in and day-out to make our app a place where the LGBTQ community can feel safe and supported, because we know that’s not always true of the world at large. Play Safe is the first in a series of videos spotlighting Grindr’s work around user safety and privacy—stay tuned for future episodes.

Ten months ago, we published a blog post outlining our expansion of image rules to include underwear. It was a critical step towards our mission of allowing the Grindr community to express themselves more freely. Today, we are announcing another exciting update to our rules, which includes more butts!

Let’s start with Grindr’s philosophy on image policies. We believe:

• All of our members deserve fair and equal treatment, regardless of gender, body type, or other physical attributes. Anything other than this is discrimination.
• Moderation policies should be clear, easy to understand, and easy to enforce, without much room for interpretation or bias.
• There are many contexts where showing skin is not considered pornographic by the app store policies we’re bound to, even in the context of a dating app.

When creating our rules and guidelines, we concentrated first on ways to remove bias and discrimination from the moderation process as much as possible. We recognize that assessments of how sexual a photo is can be influenced by common gender biases: how much skin someone shows, how much body hair they are expected to have, how the fat on their body is distributed, etc.

In addition to general moderation training, our moderators regularly receive specific training on bias, gender, microaggressions, and discrimination, to help them make as fair and equitable decisions as possible. We also do not take body hair or body type (or, body hair type) into consideration when reviewing photos.

Here are our new guidelines for public profile images

The following is Not Allowed:

• Pornographic images & depictions of sex acts
• Full frontal or graphic nudity

The following is Allowed:

• People of all bodies (all ethnicities, all sizes, all genders, and all identities) expressing their sexuality joyfully
• Underwear photos
• Non-pornographic sexual poses
• Some images of buttocks if they are non-graphic and without an overly sexual context

While we are committed to sex-positivity, and hope that most of our users enjoy the new guidelines, we also know that not everyone is comfortable seeing that extra bit of skin. For those people, we recommend filtering your grid to only show people who have a face photo as their primary image. We hope to have more ways to customize and personalize your experience in the future.

We’ve come a long way with image policies in the last year, and are proud to say that our policies are now more intuitive, inclusive, and less prone to bias. We hope that the vast majority of our users will feel confident in understanding our rules and uploading their photos without fear of the images being rejected. In general, our guidelines are very similar to Instagram and YouTube in terms of what we do and don’t allow.

That said, there will always be images that push the limits of what is clearly allowed, and we do have to draw the line to prohibit what the app stores consider pornography. It’s extremely difficult to accurately define what is and isn’t pornographic. As United States Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart famously said, “…I know it when I see it.”

We, however, have to define it in a way that is less vague, and so we have set criteria to help our moderators make informed decisions:

• Pose - Is the pose sexually suggestive?
• Context - Is the image in a private, intimate, or sexual setting? Is there more than one person in the image, or props that need to be considered?
• Nudity - Is there a focus on genitals, even if clothed? (Keep in mind that any explicit nudity must be rejected regardless.)

If the image includes sexual content in only one out of the three categories, it is more likely to be acceptable. If it has sexual content in all three, then it should be rejected. If a photo has sexual content in two out of the three categories, it’s an edge case and needs to be evaluated individually, keeping all aspects of the image in mind.

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When determining edge cases or boundary-pushing images, we’ll consider the apparent intent of the image. Of course it’s hard to know exactly what someone hopes to convey when they upload an image to Grindr, but we draw the line between these two scenarios:

• Allowed: Hey, look at me, don’t I look attractive and like you might want to have sex with me some time?
• Not allowed: Hey, I bet this image makes you imagine yourself in this exact scenario with me having sex just like this…

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A note on gender and nudity:

We are working towards gender-inclusive photo rules for our community instead of holding men, women, and nonbinary people to different standards. Unfortunately due to the current app store policies, we must include women’s nipples as a prohibited nudity category in our photo policies. Men and nonbinary people are allowed to show their nipples.

Given the millions of users who use the app every day, we moderate a lot of profile images.  In addition to our (amazing) human moderation team, we do also auto-approve some images that our artificial intelligence system classifies as “definitely not pornography.” This helps our team to focus on those difficult edge cases, and to ensure that any rejected image is done so after careful consideration. That said, both AI and humans can sometimes get things wrong, so you may see images on Grindr that don’t perfectly fit within the rules we’ve outlined above. If that’s the case, we would love for you to let us know by flagging and reporting the profile so our team can take another look.

We hope that explaining the thought process behind our image moderation practices helps you understand what is and isn’t allowed, and why. Our moderation team works hard to help Grindr feel like an inclusive, sex-positive, and fun place to be.

In 2016, after consulting with countless LGBTQ activists, public health officials, and Grindr users, we added the optional HIV status field to give users more choice in the sexual health information they share, as well as more visibility around sexual health information in general. We followed the same process when we added the “vaccinated” tag upon launch of our My Tags feature so that users had more ways to exchange information about how they were managing the COVID-19 epidemic. Today, we are taking the next step in that process, once again following consultation with our public health partners and our own users, many of whom have been choosing to highlight their vaccination status, for multiple vaccines, in the “About Me” section of their profiles.

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That’s why we’re rolling out a vaccination status field which allows users to share whether they’ve accessed shots for COVID-19, monkeypox, and meningitis. COVID-19 has obviously impacted the entire world, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity; monkeypox has had a disproportionate and particular presence in our global queer community; and meningitis has hit our community particularly hard this calendar year, specifically in the US state of Florida.

We strive to provide the tools for Grindr users to have open conversations about their health and optimally communicate with each other about these crucial topics. We're also committed to maintaining our privacy and data security by only using this information to allow users to be transparent with people they meet, and never sharing it with advertising partners. This small addition will move us forward in that mission, while also creating additional pathways for users to learn about these health concerns.

Journalist Eric Marcus, founder and host of the Making Gay History podcast, has interviewed many queer pioneers in his day, but there’s something special about his interview with trans activist Marsha P. Johnson, a beloved figure in the LGBTQ civil rights movement, and Randy Wicker, one of the most visible gay rights activists of the 1960s.

As part of our Pride series on queer history, Eric has distilled an excerpt of their conversation that focuses on the night of the Stonewall Rebellion. Check out their convo below and listen to the full Making Gay History episode here.

Marsha:  

The way I winded up being at Stonewall that night, I was having a party uptown. And we were all out there and Miss Sylvia Rivera and them were over in the park having a cocktail.

I was uptown and I didn’t get downtown until about two o’clock, because when I got downtown the place was already on fire.  And it was a raid already. The riots had already started.  And they said the police went in there and set the place on fire.  They said the police set it on fire because they originally wanted the Stonewall to close, so they had several raids.  And there was this, uh, Tiffany and, oh, this other drag queen that used to work there in the coat check room and then they had all these bartenders.  And the night before the Stonewall riots started, before they closed the bar, we were all there and we all had to line up against the wall and they was all searching us.

Eric:  

The police were?

Marsha:

Yeah, they searched every single body that came there.  Because, uh, the place was supposed to be closed, and they opened anyway. ‘Cause every time the police came, what they would do, they would take the money from the coat check room and take the money from the bar.  So if they heard the police were coming, they would take all the money and hide it up under the bar in these boxes, out of the register.  And, you know, and sometimes they would hide like under the floor or something?  So when the police got in all they got was the bartender’s tips.

Eric:  

Who went to the Stonewall?

Marsha:  

Well, uh, at first it was just a gay men’s bar.  And they didn’t allow no, uh, women in.  And then they started allowing women in.  And then they let the drag queens in.  I was one of the first drag queens to go to that place.  ‘Cause when we first heard about this…and then they had these drag queens workin’ there.  They didn’t never arrested anybody at the Stonewall.  All they did was line us up and tell us to get out.

Randy:  

Were you one of those that got in the chorus lines and kicked their heels up at the police, like, like Ziegfeld Follies girls or Rockettes?

Marsha:  

Oh, no.  No, we were too busy throwing over cars and screaming in the middle of the street, ‘cause we were so upset ‘cause they closed that place.

Eric:

What were you screaming in the street?

Marsha:  

Huh?

Eric:  

What did you say to the police?

Marsha:  

We just were saying, no more police brutality and, oh, we had enough of police harassment in the Village and other places.  Oh, there was a lot of little chants we used to do in those days.

Eric:  

Now were there lots of people hurt at the Stonewall that night during the riots?

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Marsha:  

They weren’t hurt at the Stonewall.  They were hurt on the streets outside of the Stonewall ‘cause people were throwing bottles and the police were out there with those clubs and things and their helmets on, the riot helmets.

Eric:  

Were you afraid of being arrested?

Marsha:  

Oh, no, because I’d been going to jail for like ten years before the Stonewall I was going to jail ‘cause I was, I was originally up on 42nd Street.  And every time we’d go, you know, like going out to hustle all the time they would just get us and tell us we were under arrest. They’d say, “All yous drag queens under arrest, so we, you know, it was just for wearing a little bit of makeup down 42nd Street.

Eric:  

Who were the kinds of people you met up at 42nd Street when you were hustling up there.

Marsha:  

Oh, this was all these queens from Harlem, from the Bronx.  A lot of them are dead now. I mean, I hardly ever see anybody from those days. But these were like queens from the Bronx and Brooklyn, from New Jersey, where I’m from.  I’m from Elizabeth, New Jersey.

Eric:  

Now you mentioned an organization that…you were involved with.  What was the name?

Marsha:  

Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries with Miss Sylvia Rivera.

Randy:  

STAR.

Eric:  

What was that group about?  What was it for?

Marsha:  

Ah, it was a group for transvestites… men and women transvestites.

Randy:

It was a bunch of flakey, fucked up transvestites living in a hovel and a slum somewhere calling themselves revolutionaries.  That’s what it was in my opinion.  Now Marsha has a different idea.

Eric:  

What’s your opinion?

Marsha:  

Street Transvestites Action Revolutionaries started out as a very good group.  It was after Stonewall, they started, they started at GAA.  Mama Jean DeVente, who used to be the marshal for all the parades.  She was the one that talked Sylvia Rivera into leaving GAA, ‘cause Sylvia Rivera who was the president of STAR was a member of GAA, and start a group of her own. And so she started Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries.  And she asked me would I come be the vice president of that organization.  The building was owned by Michael Umbers, who was in jail.  And didn’t Michael Umbers, when he went to jail, the city took over the building and they had everybody thrown out. But originally the rent was paid to Michael Umbers who went to jail, and Bubbles Rose Lee, Bubbles Rose Lee, who was secretary to STAR, she had all kinds of things around the building and stuff, you know.  So the city just came and closed the building down.

Curious about Stonewall? Check out these episodes of Making Gay History to learn more.