The following interview was conducted by pop-culture poster boy, freelance blogger and executive editor of Gunpowder & Gold Alexander Mayfair.
Halfway to the interview, I realize it may not be summer anymore, but it’s definitely still hot outside. I’ve been somewhat overzealous about the impending weather change and have pulled together my favorite fall looks. Wearing tall brown boots, skinny jeans and a loose sweater, however, I am now literally baking in the sun.
I place my order at the coffee shop, and before the barista finishes, Scott, this week’s interviewee, walks in. He orders an iced coffee, and we decide where to install ourselves.
“Looks pretty packed in here. Let’s go outside.” My sweater-wrapped heart sinks a little as we grab our drinks and head out to the patio.
Alexander: [Already beginning to sweat] Who’s the ideal person to be trapped in an elevator with for 12 hours?
Scott: Choosing someone to be trapped in an elevator with is really a question of, ‘With whom do I want to have the bond that comes with being in a weird situation for an extended amount of time?’ — someone you can reflect on that experience with — and for that reason, I would pick President Obama. I think if you have the most powerful person in the world sharing a really unique experience with you and developing the basis of a relationship, you can come back to it later and say, ‘Hey, Obama, remember that time we were in an elevator together? Wasn’t that horrible? By the way, can you do this?’
Alexander: How very pragmatic of you. If drunk, whose choreography would you emulate?
Scott: I think the better question is, whose choreography do I emulate? And the answer is [Ukranian all-male dance troupe] Kazaky. They’re influenced by vogueing, which is something I never learned to do but loved. They’ve got the white-boy Eastern European way of doing it. It so intentionally flaunts the mixture of masculinity and femininity that I love, and being drunk just helps.
Alexander: My brother from another mother … right there with you. Let’s talk boys. What’s a non-obvious end to the perfect date?
Scott: Truth be told, I tend not to go on very many dates. That said, a non-obvious way to end a date would be in the back of a cop car. I like going on adventures which frequently involve trespassing. This actually ties back to the elevator experience. You can say, ‘Remember when we got arrested together? Happy anniversary, babe!’
Alexander: A thrill-seeker, I see. So this should be interesting … If you were going to propose, how would you go about it?
Scott: I think this reflects how romantic I am not. I would be frank about it, not do a big gesture, and then incorporate it into a larger discussion about shared finances and a retirement plan. Very, very sexy! [laughs] Maybe I’m just saying that because I’ve never been in such a position.
Alexander: If you were internationally famous, what would you be known for?
Scott: We’ve experienced the death of the intellectual as a public figure, and most people can’t name a single international intellectual. If I were famous for something, whatever it is, I would like to represent the return of the celebrity intellectual.
Alexander: What’s the worst thing anyone’s ever said about you?
Scott: The funny thing about it is I probably don’t know. The worst thing ever said about me probably hasn’t gotten back to me yet.
Alexander: Finish this sentence for me: “When in a relationship, I tend to …”
Scott: … be uncomfortable. I’ve self-diagnosed myself as having vulnerability issues that I’ll eventually have worked on. At this point, I tend not to get into relationships because I lose interest before things get serious.
Alexander: This will be an interesting follow up question then. When do you feel most uninhibited?
Scott: I love being in new countries where my friends who live locally say, ‘You can do whatever you want because foreigners are already expected to act weird.’ I can just push that boundary a little bit more and do what would make me uncomfortable in the U.S. Even domestically, when in a new city, I’m much more likely to take my shirt off or do things that I wouldn’t normally do here where things are so reputationally based and conservative.
“Is this what I think it is? Grindrphiles?” One of Scott’s friends spots us as he walks by. We officially end the interview and they scamper off together as I head over to Buffalo Exchange to invest in lighter clothing. A new T-shirt and necklace later, I ask the cashier for scissors and fashion my very own jorts right then and there. I walk out, ready to seek my own Friday night thrills.